


Written in the Stars: Senior Year

by BraveGirl_13



Series: Written in the stars [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-08-20 17:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BraveGirl_13/pseuds/BraveGirl_13
Summary: The gleeks are back again, but this time it's senior year and things are bound to be just as confusing as ever as they navigate their last few months of school before entering the real world. What could the future possibly hold this time around?Well...let's just say it's all still written in the stars.Book Two of the Written in the Stars series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the second book in the WITS series. It's currently in-progress. I'm working on the last few chapters, and it's definitely longer than the first, but there was lot of cover as far as story-line goes. As far as the warnings go, this book actually goes into a little more detail about Nicole's suicide, so if that bothers anyone, that part will be in italics and I will also post a warning when I get to the chapter that covers that.   
> This story will also pick up towards the beginning of season 3 on Glee, and I stuck to the story-line as much as I could while also adding my own twist to it, but eventually, I will be gravitating more towards my own story-line.  
> As always, I appreciate all the love this series has been getting, and I've already decided that the series will include a third book, which will be up whenever I finish this book. Be brave, guys. ~BraveGirl_13

**Ch:1**

**Rachel**

It was official. The world was coming to an end.

It wasn’t that I was particularly _unhappy_ that Shelby was back, or that she started another glee club to rival the New Directions, or that she stole some of our voices with the power of feminism…okay, so maybe I was a little unhappy about Shelby’s abrupt appearance, but I had good reason. This was my senior year. The year I finally got everything right and the woman who had basically cast me to the side like junk mail was suddenly thrown back into my life again.

But the worst part of it all, was that I felt so alone.

Finn and I had decided we were better off as friends over the summer, my fathers were planning for their lives after I move to New York, and Logan was in Chicago. Not to mention that almost everyone in glee club was off doing something that basically made them fall off the face of the earth for the three months allotted for summer break, courtesy of our loss at Nationals no doubt.

So much had changed over the course of one small summer. Ever since Logan left everyone just sort of…fell apart. We were still very much a team, but the family that we had become had disappeared with the plane that took my sister. Quinn and I still talk and hang out regularly, the blonde much tamer now after everything that happened with her unplanned pregnancy our sophomore year. Much of that that is due to my sister. I’d have to admit she talks to Quinn just as much, if not more than she does me. But that’s just Logan. She’s able to make everyone love her. Even the resident Ice Queen of McKinley High School.

Well, almost everyone.

Kurt was not so obliviously following Blaine wherever he went, mostly where they would meet up with Mercedes and shop for hours on end. Tina and Mike were inseparable, both attending some Asian summer camp for most of the vacation. Artie and Brittany were still together, much to everyone’s surprise, so they were off doing couple things or locking lips like there’s no tomorrow. And Santana is just…Santana. Not much has changed about the girl since whatever happened between her and my sister. I knew most of the information, but not all. Every time the subject comes up, my sister dodges it, and Santana just hits a brick wall and goes mute for a few hours. Logan claims she doesn’t have feelings for the girl anymore, that fire apparently had been extinguished back when Santana brushed her off at Nationals. And you can’t get Santana to even talk about my sister. I know the cheerleader still blames herself for Logan’s attack. And if it was up to me, I’d just sit both in a room together until they worked it out and finally admitted their feelings for each other and stopped being so damn stubborn. But nothing is that easy.

I quickly shook my head of my thoughts, my brain focusing on the task I had originally been attempting to perform until my thoughts became consumed with the end of everything this club had worked so hard to achieve.

After mildly cursing my phone for disappearing into my backpack, I finally flipped the device open, searching through my contacts until I found the number I was looking for and waited for the ringing to subside.

_“Rachel?”_

“Yes, it’s me. I was wondering if I could talk to you and Aunt Ella for a few minutes about something important?”

_“Of course, sweetie. Hang on…Ella? Rach needs to talk to us.”_

I waited patiently as I heard the muffled voices blend together before both of my aunt’s voices came through on the receiver. _“Okay, babe. We’re both here. What did you need to talk about? Is everything alright?”_

Taking a deep breath, I sat down on the edge of my bed, my eyes wandering to the group picture Mr. Shue had taken of the glee club last year, everyone piled together on the auditorium stage with bright smiles, some even laughing. Before everything fell apart. “Actually, it’s not. Uh…Shelby is back.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few seconds, save for the

_“What the hell does she want?!”_

I winced at my aunt’s obviously angered tone, and although scary, it also made me feel better. During the whole process of Shelby appearing and disappearing again, my aunts had been there for me. They were my mother figures growing up, and it felt amazing to know that they were still here for me.

_“Okay, can we not yell, please?”_

After another mumble from my other aunt, which caused me to smile, I spoke up. “Thank you. And I don’t know what exactly brought her back to Ohio. Mr. Shue has stated it’s because the school has asked her to start a rivalry glee club, but Quinn told me she’s asked for her and Noah to become involved with Beth’s life. I have no idea what that woman wants or what she plans to do.”

_“Sweetie, I have no idea what was going on in Shelby’s head when you first found out who she was, but you’re an amazing kid, and if she doesn’t want to be a part of your life then that’s something she’s going to realize is a mistake one day when you’re off staring in some fantastic Broadway play that your sister wrote and you’re both accepting numerous awards and sums of money. Please don’t think that you’re not good enough for her or anything like that. Because if anything, sweetheart, you are worth so much more than you think and hold yourself to.”_

Once again, the two women who knew me better than I probably even knew myself somehow managed to hit the nail on the head concerning my problems. That, by my very definition, was what it would be like to have a mother than truly cared for you. “How do you two always know what to say?”

Laughter rang out from the other end, the sullen mood that seemed to follow the subject of my mother everywhere, now gone, replaced with what I remember growing up with. Happiness. _“Well, we can definitely say we know you, Rach. Now, is Shelby all you needed to talk about? Or am I correct when I say this conversation is going to steer towards that new rival glee club she’s starting?”_

“About that…”

_“Let me take a guess. A few of your glee club members have jumped ship and you all are short people for competition?”_

And this would be the down side to having motherly figures who knew you. “Yes, that would be correct, but-.”

_“You haven’t happened to overhear your fathers and us having a conversation about your grandmother being sick and us rethinking about moving back to Lima after this year?”_

“Okay, okay. I can see you two have probably guessed why I called you. Yes, I do know that Nana has been sick and that you two have thought about moving back here after Logan and I graduate from high school, and yes, I was going to beg you two to come back earlier. Now. Because the glee club needs members to compete, and this is our year. Most of the glee club members are seniors, so this is our last chance. And with Shelby around, I could use the support of Logan at school and you two here whenever I need you, and I understand you _are_ here for me if I need anything, but it’s not the same as having motherly figures here at home. I know that with all that happened last year, you two would be nervous about Logan attending McKinley again, so would I, but the school has put no bullying rules in place now and there are cameras everywhere so nothing like that would happen again. Not to mention that Logan would have so many people around her constantly, she would never be alone, I wouldn’t allow it, and-.”

_“Whoa, Rachel, breathe a little, okay?”_

After doing what my aunts instructed of me, I relaxed slightly against the headboard of my bed, my free hand reaching up to brush some hair away from my face. “I’m sorry, I get carried away sometimes. It’s just that this year is supposed to be special. Not just with glee, but with everything and it seems wrong not to share any of that with you guys or Logan. Not after all that we’ve been through as a family.”

A silence fell on the other end of the line, and to add to the list of failures my senior year was adding up to, I did not expect my aunts’ responses to be what they were.

_“Honestly, we’ve thought about moving back to Lima anyway. We’re glad to be back home in Chicago, but you and your fathers are there. Logan’s friends are there and she’s been miserable ever since we moved back and yes, we were thinking about moving back at the end of next year, but with Logan’s attack and whatever happened with that girl you two would hang out with…if Logan agrees to it, we’ll see about moving back down, but if she says no then that’s the final call, babe. And no pressuring her about it, this has to be on her, okay?”_

For once, things were beginning to look up. The New Directions still had hope…along with a few other things that I have a feeling aren’t meant to be over with just quite yet.

 


	2. Once a Friend, Always a Friend

**Ch:2**

**Logan**

“I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, Mr. Shue. I’m sure you’re probably very busy.”

The curly-haired teacher simply smiled at me before taking a seat in his office chair. “It’s no problem, Logan. It’s not like the New Directions are very busy right now anyway. Not with Shelby starting up the Trouble Tones and everything that’s happened since. But, that’s my problem to worry about. You said you needed to talk to me about something important?”

I nodded, folding my hands in my lap before letting out a sigh. “I would like to talk to you about rejoining the New Directions.”

The man raised an eyebrow, the strip of hair almost disappearing into his hairline. “What? I thought you were living in Chicago now?”

“My mothers and I have decided that Lima is the best place for me to finish out my high school career, and it coincides with some family business that was going to bring us back next year anyway, so we’re moving back now. We’re visiting for the weekend to get things settled, and it’s not all completely set just yet, but I should be starting classes back here next week.”

The look of surprise never left his face, the look itself combining with what I could only describe as relief and excitement mixed together. “Well, that’s great news, Logan. And of course, you’re more than welcome to rejoin the New Directions. I’m sure those who are left would be more than happy to welcome you back with open arms. Does anyone else know you’re coming back?”

There had been no doubt in my mind that the New Directions would have welcomed me back into the group. They needed me just as much as I needed them, but it would never get old hearing that I was wanted by a group of people who considered me family, and it was reassuring to know that this year would be shared with those who

“Rachel knows, obviously. I’m meeting with Quinn later and telling her, but that’s also what I was wanting to talk to you about. My first day back, I want it to be a surprise, so I was kind of hoping that we could work something out? Rachel has already agreed to it and is supplying the sheet music to the jazz band and everything. Plus, I hear that Sam is coming back, too, so I figured we could kill two birds with one stone.”

Mr. Shue leaned back in his chair, his smile growing with every second. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

I couldn’t help but return the smile he was giving me, my own growing as I outlined my plan to him down to the very last detail. “…and it the end, you’ve showcased the talent of the New Directions and introduced the newest, or in my case, returning members. All we have to do is get it pass Ms. Corcoran and the rest of the glee club members without anyone knowing about me coming back.”

Before I could even finish the sentence, Mr. Shue’s smile had grown into a smirk. I could practically see the gears turning and the passion flowing in him as he stood and held his hand out to me. “I’ll talk to Shelby immediately about it. She’s always saying that competition is healthy for the kids, so I shouldn’t see a problem with it. I assume I’ll be talking with you through Rachel?”

After shaking his hand, I nodded, feeling less nervous about restarting back at McKinley now that things were starting to fall into place. “Until I’m back, I’ll be living and communication vicariously through my sister. And I should probably be getting back to her. We’re supposed to be meeting Quinn in a few minutes.”

“Of course. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I’ll see you soon, Logan.”

I sent the teacher a half wave as I started out of his office and into the crowded hallway, the sea of red and white sending a feeling of melancholy through my body. While I was happy to be coming back, this would also be my final year here, and I was bound and determined not to let this year go to waste. I had spent my first two years of high school in such a horrible state of mind after Nicole’s death and last year acting my sister’s guardian, and I never stopped and allowed myself to just be a teenager, to be myself. So that is what I intended to do with this year. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be held back because of my fear of my past. I intended to live a little this year.

With a new-found surge of happiness, I strode off down the hall, accepting the few 'hello's' I was given. It wasn’t often I visited Lima, and to be honest, it was because I didn’t want to have to face Santana. Seeing her would have been another blow to the armor that I worked so hard to build so strong, and I had a feeling she would always be the one that got away, and she was just as much as my past as anyone. I would have to face her eventually.

As I rounded the corner, all thoughts of the Latina were scattered from my mind as I finally made it to the auditorium where I could faintly hear the songs from this year’s musical attempting to seep through the closed doors. Call my opinion biased, but they sounded good. Like, really, _really_ good.

No one paid much attention to me as I slipped in through the doors, smiling at the sight of my sister standing center stage, completely in her zone as she ran through the scene with the rest of the cast members. It would never get old to see her on stage doing what she was born to do. It was where she belonged, anyone could see that, and I would forever be honored to say that the petite brunette belting out _I Feel Pretty_ on a high school stage with so much passion was my sister, and one of the most important people in my life.

“Logan!”

I tore my attention away from my sister’s performance to see a whirl of blonde hair in front of my face before I was almost knocked over by a hug, my mind only registering it was Quinn for a split second before I returned the hug just as tightly, chuckling slightly. “Hey, Q.”

The blonde finally released me, keeping a hold of one hand as she started to pull me back stage, where most of the missing glee club members were either in costume or holding scripts, all of them halting to stop and give their own hellos.

Kurt was the first, dropping his script to give me a hug before thanking me for helping him convince Rachel to try out a new wardrobe this year that didn’t include argyle or animal sweaters, the comment making me laugh as I hugged him back. Blaine was just as enthusiastic in his greeting, only opting to hug me much less tighter than Kurt or Quinn had. Tina and Mike somehow managed to give me a group hug, both saying how happy they were to see me. Artie of course stopped mid direction to give me a high five before yelling at everyone to take a five-minute break, giving cause for the rest of the glee club members to finally join in the reunion. Brittany’s hug was filled with mentions of Lord Tubbington and her online show, which I made a promise to appear on before I returned to Chicago Sunday night. Rach gave me a one-armed hug, keeping said arm around me as she and Quinn started to chat away about our plans for tonight. I do believe the word “slumber party” was thrown around by my sister, and had I been able to get a word in between the two of them, I would have made some snide remark about feeling like I was in middle school again, but I would let them have their fun. After all, tonight was going to be a celebration when I told her I was coming back to Lima.

As the two girls continued to babble on, my eyes roamed around the group of people I had come to know and love and consider family, a frown forming on my face when I noticed that one person was still missing. Not that I should have been surprised by it. I halfway expected to be ignored, again, by her.

“She’s here. She took one look at you and mumbled something about going to change. You should go see her.”

I snorted at my sister’s comment, shaking my head as I followed her back to the girl’s make-shift dressing room off to the side of the stage after promising to say goodbye to everyone before leaving rehearsal. “She doesn’t want to talk to me, Rach. You know that.”

The diva shrugged, stopping long enough to grab the next scene’s costume before shouting off to one of the stage hands about getting her warm honey water with lemon, earning an eye roll from me. She certainly deserved to be called a diva. “I know just as much as you do, Logan, which is minuscule. I do know, however, that she misses you and she hasn’t been the same since your attack and since you left. No one has heard from her all summer save for the few times I called her and Quin managed to free her from her house. She’s miserable, and so are you. You tried last year to talk to her, but you both were still emotionally strung out because of your accident. So, sister dear, what is stopping you now? If it had been me and if I had been as in love with her as you are, I wouldn’t be standing here talking to you. I would be over _there_ talking to _her_.”

My eyes followed her line of sight before finally resting on the center of our conversation, who was sitting at one of the dressing mirrors, frowning down at a copy of the script. As my mind gave thought to what my sister said, I smiled to myself, finally tearing my eyes away from Santana to raise an eyebrow at my sister. “In a not so subtle change of subject, when _are_ you planning on declaring your love for the girl you’ve so madly fell for?”

My sister paused halfway through changing into her costume, a deep red blush forming on her cheeks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, and you’re right. It wasn’t a subtle change in conversation. You should go and talk to her.”

After rolling my eyes at my sister and opting to stare down at the floor instead, (mostly because I would feel like a creep if I kept staring at Santana) I leaned myself on the wall opposite the diva, a knowing smile resting on my face. “Oh, so I was imaging things when you busted out in tears a few years ago when you told me you had fallen for-?”

My sister’s hand reached up to cover my mouth, stifling my laugh as her eyes widened in panic. “What are you doing?! People can hear us! _She_ could hear us!”

After I removed her hand from my mouth, I chuckled, pulling out my phone when it chimed. “Relax, Little B, your secret is safe with me.”

“Would you just shut up and go talk to her already?”

I returned my phone back to my pocket before pushing myself up and off the wall of my sister’s make-shift dressing room. “Will you stop bothering me about it if I go and _try_?”

My sister nodded, using one hand to wave me off as she proceeded to start a few vocal warm ups. I waited a few seconds, noting when she began to belt off higher notes that I started to walk away from her. “Oh, by the way. Quinn has requested your presence over in her dressing room, something about not being able to get the zipper up on her dress. She needs your help.”

At the sound of my sister’s high note turning into a squeak and then a string of profanities, I smirked and began to make my way over towards the direction of Santana, not at all guilty about making my sister squirm a little, but instead growing nervous at the prospect of confronting the girl who had been occupying most of my thoughts since I met her last year. My feet halted a few feet from where she was sitting, and I took a second to take deep breath before taking the last few steps and putting on a small smile.

“Santana?”

The girl’s head snapped up from her copy of the script so fast even I could feel the oncoming signs of whiplash. She obviously wasn’t expecting me to say something to her. Either that or she had become an exceptional actress over the past several months. “Logan. Hey.”

I ushered to the empty dressing room seat next to her, slightly more at ease now that I knew she wasn’t completely ignoring me still. “You mind if I sit?”

She quickly shook her head, placing the script next to her. “Yeah. No. I mean, no, I don’t mind if you sit. You can sit where you want to, I don't own the chairs. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell someone if they could or not sit. That's just-.”

After watching the girl struggle for a few minutes, I smiled before easing myself into the seat. “Santana, shut up. You’re rambling.”

The girl across from me narrowed her eyes at me, my heart rate quickening at the familiar sight. For a few seconds, it still felt like last year. Before I kissed her. Before the attack. When we were friends.

“I don’t ramble.”

The snort that escaped from my lips only caused the girl to glare at me further, which in return only made my smile broaden. “You ramble when you get nervous, Santana. And you don’t have to be nervous around me. We were friends once, remember? I’m still the same girl I was last year. I’ve not changed.”

Santana’s eyes darted away from mine as I could have sworn a light blush spread across her cheeks, mumbling out a “we’re still friends” before she slumped down in her chair. My stomach lurched slightly at her declaration, and although part of me was dying to hear her say we had been more than just friends, I was going to take what I could get.

“Look, San. About last year-.”

“I don’t wanna talk about last year.”

It was my turn to glare at the Latina, mostly because she was being insanely stubborn, and although I cared for the girl dearly, that sometimes overshadowed her other positive features and attributes. “Well I do, and I think you need to as well. I know you blame yourself for what happened, but if you would let me explain-.”

The girl’s expression caused me to halt mid-sentence. Her usually brown eyes darkened to an almost black shade, and it frightened me. I knew she was carrying around guilt about the attack, and that she wasn’t okay, Rachel and Quinn had made that clear, but I never imagined it would be this bad. That she would look this emotionless and hallow.

“Explain what, Logan? You almost died last year. Your family almost lost you. I almost lost…you almost died and it was because of me. You or Rachel or Quinn or anyone else can’t tell me otherwise. Because that’s what happens when people get involved with me. Brittany was always made fun of because I didn’t take people’s crap so they targeted her. Q was my best friend and because of my bitchy attitude she fell from her freaking high pedestal. You…you kissed me and you were attacked because of it. You almost died, Logan. _Died_. As in I would never get to talk to you again. How the hell am I supposed to act like nothing ever happened? I couldn’t look at you last year because I couldn’t stand to see you hurt because of me. And right now, that scar that runs across your eyebrow, it’s killing me to look at you because I know I caused that. How the hell can you explain anything to me that will stop me from thinking that?”

I simply stared at the girl for a few seconds before sliding out the seat to stand in front of Santana, who’s darkened eyes were now brimming with tears. “I wanna talk to you about this, okay? I do, but I can’t do it here and neither can you because you’re not gonna let anyone see you that vulnerable.”

The girl finally looked away from me, wiping at her cheeks as she picked up her copy of the script again. Before, her distance would have hurt, but now that I had gotten a glimpse inside of what she was feeling, I understood all this better, and after taking a deep breath I placed a hand on either side of the arm rests of her chair, forcing her to look up at me since my face was only a few inches from hers. As soon as my eyes met those familiar brown ones, I melted, letting out a sigh. “Quinn is coming over around seven to hang out before I have to go back to Chicago Sunday. If you want to, you can come over tonight and we can talk, and before you come up with some lame excuse to avoid me until I’m gone again, I’m asking you to do this. I _need_ to talk to you about this.”

After a few seconds of what would probably end up being a never-ending staring contest between the two of us, I broke away first, letting my head hang slightly before building up enough courage to lean forward slightly and brush my lips across her cheek, not bothering to look at her reaction as I pushed myself away from her. “Please come.”

Within a few seconds, I was walking away from her, my hands shoved into my pockets and my bright mood from earlier dampened slightly, but that didn’t stop me from smiling when I caught up with my sister and Quinn, both of whom were finishing the plans for tonight. I nodded along with their suggestions for movies and snacks, my mind too distracted by my conversation with the Latina to form any coherent answers that wouldn’t come out as gibberish.

Artie called everyone in the scene back on stage, and as the two excited girls took their respective places, I glanced over my shoulder to see Santana staring down at her script, one hand rubbing the spot on her cheek where I had kissed her, my last words echoing through my thoughts.

_“Please come.”_


	3. Sleepovers and Bets

**Ch:3**

**Logan**

Seven o’clock had long come and gone, and while Q and my sister were busy chattering away with each other in the living room, I was visibly pouting at the kitchen counter, tossing a few pieces of popcorn into an empty glass across from me. She had chosen not to come, and it felt like I was reliving last year all over again. I felt like the girl who walked halfway across town to give her those train tickets only to be brushed off and ignored, like I was nothing. All I needed was a bottle of whiskey and I would officially look and feel the role of severely depressed girl who had, once again, gotten her hopes up only to have them trampled on later.

I let out a snort as I landed another piece of popcorn into the glass, now unamused by the childish game. “Pathetic.”

“Who’s pathetic?”

I jumped slightly at the sudden voice, turning to see my favorite blonde standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Hey...and I am. I actually thought she was going to come tonight. I actually thought I had gotten through to her enough for her to let me back in. But I should have seen this coming and I’m pathetic because I thought this time was different. I’m pathetic because I’ve spent the entire summer trying so hard to get her out of my head, and after one conversation with her, I’m right back where I started.”

Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Quinn took empty seat next to me before grabbing a handful of popcorn. “You’re not pathetic. You love her.”

Rolling my eyes, I took a sip of my water in an attempt at commenting back on that. I certainly would admit that I had a crush on the girl, but did I love her? I had only ever loved one girl and when she was gone I assumed I would never feel that way about someone again. Last year, I had thought that maybe...just maybe, I was starting to feel more than just crush feelings towards Santana, but after being brushed off by her and the time and distance away from Lima, I wasn't so sure of my feelings anymore. "I don't know how I feel about her anymore."

“Oh, come on, don’t say that you don’t. You’re so hopelessly head over hills for her that we can’t even mention her name around you without you getting all doe-eyed and spacing out.”

I frowned, grabbing my own handful of popcorn before tossing it at my best friend, earning a loud laugh from the blonde that had even myself smiling, and I was suddenly thankful for having her on my side. It wasn’t until you were at your lowest point that only the people who truly loved you would be able to put a smile on your face.

“Seriously, though, Logan. Santana is a…hard shell to crack. She puts on that bitchy exterior because she’s insecure about herself, so she puts other people down and acts the way she does so she doesn’t have to face herself. In fact, she’s been running from herself for so long that I stopped trying to keep up a few years ago…and I shouldn’t…I should have kept running with her. I was supposed to be her best friend, be there for her through everything and I turned my back on her when she needed me the most. Maybe it was too hard to try and be her friend after she dumped me when I got pregnant, but it’s not an excuse. I should have been a better friend. Hell, I should have been a better person in general.”

Reaching over, I grabbed the blonde’s hand, sad, hazel eyes moving from an abandoned piece of popcorn to mine. “You’re not a bad friend, Q. Yes, you’ve made mistakes, and so has she, but that doesn’t make you a terrible person. You’re not the same girl who got pregnant her Sophomore year, and you’re certainly not the same girl who used to be horrible to Rachel. You’ve grown as a person and you’ve been a pretty damn good best friend over the past few months.”

A comfortable silence fell between the two of us, my hand and hers still conjoined on the marble counter tops, the only sound coming from the living room where my sister was presumably still watching whatever movie the two had picked out earlier. After a few seconds, I let out a sigh, turning my attention away from the glass full of popcorn to my best friend, giving her a small smile. “Listen, I never got the chance to say thank you…for coming to look for me last year when I didn’t show up for the drills.”

Her hazel eyes widened, probably because of the sudden change in subject, but it’s taken me months to be able to even bring up the attack, and I was afraid I would lose this courage if I didn’t say it now. “Logan, you don’t have to-.”

I held up my free hand, successfully causing the blonde’s mouth to snap shut. “No, seriously. It’s taken me this long to be able to even say this to you, so don’t tell me I don’t have to thank you or anything like that. Because I do have to thank you. If you hadn’t come looking for me when you noticed I wasn’t on the track and still inside, there’s no telling how long I could have been there laying on that floor, and god knows if it had been any sooner…”

The comfortable silence from earlier was replaced with a tension-filled one, my unsaid thought settling between us. My life could have very well ended that day if wasn’t for her and Santana.

“I could have died, but I didn’t because of you and Santana…and you will never know how thankful I am that I became friends with you. Not just because of you finding me, but for everything afterwards. Between you visiting me and keeping an eye on Rachel…well…I’m just really glad that you were there and that you’re my best friend, Q.”

Her hazel eyes filled with tears suddenly, and before I could utter a syllable, the blonde had me wrapped up in her arms, whispering something about being thankful for my friendship as well and I realized that even though I would still be battling the Santana problem, at least I could play out senior year with the people I loved.

“Logan, I think you’ll be happy to know that…oh, I’m sorry for interrupting an apparent moment between you two. I’ll say my news when you two are done hugging.”

I laughed lightly, keeping a hold of one Quinn’s hand as we pulled away from each other, turning to look at my sister standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “What’s up, Rach?”

The diva pointed off somewhere behind her, a nervous smile resting on her face. “It seems our missing fourth-wheel has decided to show up and she’s asked about your whereabouts, so she’s patiently waiting in the living room for you to emerge. However, I feel as though you two should be given your privacy, seeing as this is probably a sore subject for the both of you, so Quinn, will you accompany me up to my room while they talk?”

After sharing a look with me, the blonde simply nodded, following my little sister up the stairs but not before glancing one last time over her shoulder, one that silently told me to keep in mind what she informed me about Santana earlier.

Taking a deep breath, I made my way into the living room, my eyebrow raising unconsciously as I noticed Santana staring at the stack of pictures my sister had brought out earlier. From my spot in the doorway, I could tell which picture she was staring at, the familiar warmth that came from staring at said picture filling my chest. “That’s one of my favorites.”

Amusingly, the always bad ass girl jumped at my voice, her eyes snapping up to meet mine as she placed the picture back down on the coffee table in front of her. “Have you always been this stalker like? Or was that just the one thing about you that I happened to forget?”

Raising an eyebrow, I took a seat on the couch next to her, picking up the picture she had been looking at. “Do you remember when we took this last year? We were on our way to Sectionals and Puck said some crude joke that caused Tina to pour her Coke all over him and somehow Quinn managed to take a picture right as you started laughing and, unfortunately, caught me staring at you.”

The girl next to me shifted slightly before taking the picture out of my hand. “I like it. It’s one of the few pictures Q has managed to take that I look good in. Can you make me a copy?”

Smirking, I gained custody of the picture again, setting it down on the coffee table in front of me. “I’ll have Rachel make one later tonight. Are you staying or did you just come here to pilfer through my belongings?”

“That depends on what Q and Rach are up there doing right now. Five bucks says they’re making out up there on Rachel’s bed.”

I snorted, standing up from the couch while holding one hand out towards the still smirking girl on the couch. “I’ll raise you ten and say they’re eavesdropping from the top of the stairs and they won’t admit they’re madly in love with each other until it’s become painstakingly obvious.”

Santana let out a cackle that had my smile growing, feeling like maybe things were finally returning to normal with my life. I’d be back at McKinley for senior year, with Rach, San, and Q and all the other gleeks. The attack was behind me, and I could smile again.

“You’re so on, Mackenzie.”

The instant I felt her hand land in mine, I pulled her up and into a hug, my arms wrapping around her waist as I settle my chin on her shoulder. “I need you in my life, Santana. Please don’t push me away again.”

After a few seconds, I felt her return the hug, causing me to smile, because in that moment she didn’t need to say anything. I knew without words that we would be fine, and maybe things wouldn’t go back to their original way mainly because we didn’t want them to, but because they couldn’t. Too much had happened, but it wasn’t going to stop us from making the most out of it. But out of everything the hug said, I knew the main thing stood out the farthest.

We would be okay.

The moment was interrupted when a rather loud booming sound came from the stairwell, and once we had broken the hug I happened to look up and see my sister sitting sideways on one of the steps, her look screaming that she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have been, and judging by the fact that Quinn was staring over the edge of the banister with the same look, I just won the bet.

With a chuckle, I turned towards the Latina who was standing next to me, her earlier smirk replaced with a scowl, probably because she realized she just lost. “You owe me ten bucks.”

After a round of rushed Spanish with a few added words of English (I’m pretty sure Santana said something about taking the money from her fund to get Rach a new wardrobe), the girl was up the stairs, my sister’s eyes widening before she let out a scream and disappeared around the corner of the banister, yelling her own thing about carrying a rape whistle while Quinn and I were busy trying to regain our breathing while laughing so loudly that the sound was deafening.

But this was my life, and I wouldn’t change it even if I tried.


	4. Welcome to Wonderland

**Ch:4**

**Rachel**

“Settle down guys, we’re about to start. Now, this isn’t just some free time to sing. This is the group we’ll be going up against at Sectionals this year. The whole point of showcasing our talent is to get a good feel of what we’re up against this year, and if you all haven’t forgotten, Ms. Corcoran coached Vocal Adrenaline and led them to numerous national titles.”

Normally I wasn’t someone to roll their eyes, but at Mr. Shue’s not so subtle reminder, I was forced to. How could any of us forget Shelby and all the things she’s accomplished? Honestly, though, with this group I wouldn’t be surprised if the only thing they remembered about Shelby was that I was going to “jump ship” and cost them the competition and that she dumped me like yesterday’s trash for a newer model.

“Anyway, don’t let them screw with your heads, guys. We’ve got this in the bag. I can feel it. Now, I want you all to get prepped for our first number. Rachel, Quinn? Are you guys ready?”

From across the show circle, my eyes met with a familiar pair of hazel ones that held so much excitement, causing me to smile. “Yeah, Mr. Shue. I think we’re good to go.”

The curly haired teacher nodded, directing everyone out to the auditorium to sit while Quinn and I headed back to the makeshift dressing rooms they had built for the school play. My smile only brightened when I caught sight of my sister standing in front of the mirror, one hand gripping either side of the desk below her.

“Hey, it’s time to go on. Are you ready?”

My sister caught my gaze in the reflection of the mirror, her face seeming neutral, but to those who really knew her you could see the inner war she was at with herself. Being back at McKinley was bringing back everything that happened last year and I could see she was starting to doubt herself with whether this was the right decision.

“Logan. Everything is gonna be fine. There’s ten times more people on your side this year. We won’t let last year happen again. Come on. It’s time to show the Trouble Tones why the New Directions is the best club here at McKinley.”

After a few seconds, the doubt and worry cleared from my sister’s eyes dissipated and she let out a breath before pushing herself off the desk and nodded. “Right, let’s do this.”

If there was ever a moment that I stopped getting the high of being on stage, then may Barbra perform her very last song and retire showbiz completely. Since I was a little girl, the rush of performing was something I easily became addicted to, and even now, as soon as Quinn and I were introduced and we stepped out on stage and everyone applauded, I was brought back to that first time I was on stage as a little girl. Yeah, this would _definitely_ never get old.

When the music started around us, both Quinn and I moved to either side of the stage, our microphones hanging down in front of us. Both the New Directions and Trouble Tones were looking around, probably confused by what was going on since this particular song wasn’t a duet, but as soon my sister’s voice filled the auditorium, everyone’s heads snapped up front, their confused looks just growing with each second until the light shifted from us to the back of the auditorium, where Logan had just stepped out from behind the curtain.

* * *

 

  **Logan**

As soon as the last note rang throughout the auditorium, and I finished my song by perfectly timing my last step in between Quinn and Rach, the applause rang out from both groups of students. The smile of my face grew with every second until I was engulfed with hugs from the two girls on stage and eventually the New Directions as they all gathered on stage.

After a few seconds of our short reunion, Mr. Shue walked out on stage, clapping his hands together. I kept an arm around both Q and my sister as our attention turned to him. “Alright, everyone. As you can see, we have a returning member this year. Let’s all welcome Logan back with welcoming arms and I think I speak for everyone here, Logan. It’s good to have you back.”

With one last round of cheers, we all shuffled off the stage save for those who were performing next. I paused momentarily as we passed by the side of the auditorium where the Trouble Tones were seated, giving Brittney a high five and Santana a small smile before turning my eyes to the older version of my sister. “Shelby.”

“Logan, it’s good to see you again. I guess it’s safe to say that we have some tough competition with you on the New Directions now. But it’s good you’re here. Rachel needs you.”

The statement made me want to roll my eyes. “Like you know what Rachel needs.”

The older brunette let out a sigh, standing up from her seat before grabbing me by my elbow and practically dragging me out of the auditorium. “Listen, I didn’t come back here to screw with Rachel’s life, okay? I came back here to try and make it up to her. I know I made some mistakes regarding my daughter, but I do know her. Maybe not like you do, but I do know her on some level. And I know I’m not your favorite person in the world, and that’s okay, I really don’t blame you, but can we at least be civil long enough for you to hear me out?”

Raising an eyebrow, I leaned on the wall opposite of Shelby, crossing my arms over my chest. “Hear you out? About what?”

She let out another sigh, pulling her phone out from her cardigan and fiddling with it before handing it to me. On the screen was a small blonde little girl with the goofiest smile that I would recognize anywhere. “Beth.”

“When I adopted Beth, I wanted to make sure that I was there for everything. Her first steps, her first words, all of it. And I was, but it never filled the hole that Rachel left in my heart. I was wrong to think that replacing her was the right thing for both of us. I want to make it up to Rachel now, and I think I’m going to need your help to do it. So please, if you’ll give me one hour to hear me out and if you disagree with me, I’ll back off her. One hour is all I’m asking, Logan.”

I glanced between her and the picture on the phone screen before handing it back to her. “Alright. One hour, but not a minute more. They stuck me in one of your music classes and I have study hall right after it so you can use that time to attempt to explain why you’re here.”

Shelby smiled, holding her hand out in a neutral hand-shake, her smile broadening when I took her hand.  _Damn, the older Rachel gets, the more they look alike._  “It’s a deal. But we should get back in there before they all think I brought you out here to slaughter you.”

Chuckling, I followed her back into the auditorium, where Mike was performing his dance number while the other remaining guys from the New Directions were singing and attempting to copy his moves. I took the open seat between my blonde best friend and my sister, both who eyed me suspiciously. “What?”

Luckily it was my sister to ask any questions. Quinn’s silence about the subject wasn’t uncommon. Shelby had always been a rough subject for the blonde. “Why did Shelby just pull you out of the auditorium? What did you two talk about?”

Rolling my eyes, I sunk down in my seat a little. “Relax, okay? When you told me she was teaching here this year I took the liberty of signing up for one of her music classes. She was asking if I could help with teaching some of the kids piano. It’s no big deal.”

With one last odd look, they returned their attention back to the group of boys on stage. Soon after, both teams had their chance to perform, we were free to go home and with a knowing nod in the direction of Shelby to let her know we were still on for our meeting tomorrow, I piled out with the rest of the New Directions until we all dispersed into opposite directions. I slowed behind my sister and Quinn who were chatting away nonchalantly, making plans for a carpool in the morning, and if I had blinked I would have missed when their hands brushed each other and their not-so-oblivious movements of catching each other's eyes and then quickly looking away from the other. God, their obviousness was so loud I wanted to cover my ears from the sounds.

And, as if on cue, my brain was so focused on something entirely else I hadn’t noticed I was fixing to collide with another body until it was too late and the other person’s books and papers were now sprawled at our feet, causing me to groan as I dropped down to pick them up. “I am _so_ sorry. I really need to start working on paying more attention when I’m walking. I have a bad habit of walking into other people and objects.”

The light laughter that came from the person I ran into halted my movements, save for my eyes, which had finally glanced up to see the most intense pair of green eyes staring back at me with humor twinkling in them.

_Oh dear sweet Lord, why do I always manage to run into the most attractive girls here?_

“Are you okay?”

After blinking a few times, and managing to pull myself out of my daze I frowned, standing up to my full height with an arm full of papers and books. “Huh?”

The blonde girl before me smiled again, reaching out to take the books and papers from me. “I was saying it was no problem that you accidentally ran into me. To be honest, I wasn’t paying that much attention either, and you didn’t answer. You spaced out or something.”

Shrugging one shoulder, I reached down to pick up the last book from the floor. “Sorry, you just took me by surprise there. I don’t always run into girls that have as captivating eyes as yours.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I flinched, wondering where in hell that came from as I handed her the book. “Wow, I’m sorry. I don’t know what just came over me. Please ignore that comment and we’ll stick with me just being a clumsy idiot.”

The blonde laughed, waving it off. “It’s fine, and actually that was quite cute of you. You’re Logan, right? Logan Mackenzie? Rachel Berry’s sister?”

I raised an eyebrow, shoving my hands into my pockets. “Yeah. How did you know that?”

“Oh, sorry, I’m in Rachel’s Calculus class and I asked about a picture of you and her and Quinn Fabray she had in her binder. You probably think I’m a creepy stalker now, great. First time meeting the only other girl that’s openly gay and hot and I lead with that.”

Feeling the heat rise in my cheeks, I smiled at her light ramble, finally noticing the letter man jacket she was wearing, taking notice of the bat and ball patch that was stitched on one shoulder. “It’s not creepy. Do you play softball?”

She glanced down at the jacket before back up at me, her own cheeks slightly tinged red. “Uh, yeah. I play center field for the girl’s team.”

“Oh cool, I was left field back in Chicago. I didn’t know McKinley had a girls’ softball team.”

“You’re not serious, are you? Because our left fielder just broke her leg last week and we have no one to fill the position for the rest of the season. You should totally come talk to the coach this week.”

My eyes widened as I shook my head, entirely unsure of how completely ironic this whole thing was. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve not played in a while and I just transferred back here, I don’t know if joining another team is such a good idea right now.”

The blonde’s lower lip jutted out in an extremely unfair way, the action causing me to let out a sigh and look away. “Alright, alright! I’ll think about it. Sheesh, I don’t even know you’re name and you’re already forcing my hand at something. You girls work in mysterious ways here in Ohio.”

The green-eyed girl smiled shyly, again, before holding her free hand out to me. “Right, that probably would have been something to mention by now. I’m sorry. I’m Skylar Roberts. I already know who you are, so…I’m just going to stand here and hope I don’t make a fool out of myself even more.”

“Well, well, well. You _do_ know how to smooth talk a girl don’t you, Roberts?”

The cold and hard voice surprised both of us, causing both mine and Skylar’s heads to turn and see a certain Latina leaning against a row of lockers a few feet from us, her signature scowl in place with her arms folded across her chest.

“Hello, Santana. It’s nice to see you can still bring a conversation to a grinding halt.”

I glanced between the two girls, the tension in the now seemingly crowded hallway intense as both girls stared down each other. “Uh, you two know each other?”

Santana was the first to break the stare down, her eyes softening slightly as they turned towards me. “Roberts and I go way back, back to when she was a cheerio and _somehow_ got kicked off the squad and joined the softball team.”

Skylar let out a scoff, turning her attention back to me. “Right. It’s a mystery as to why I was cut. Anyway, it was great to meet you, Logan. I hope you’ll consider my proposition and I’ll see you around,” the blonde then turned her attention back to the Latina, smirking as her eyes glanced back at me. “Bye, Santana.”

I watched as the girl vanished around the corner of the hall before turning to look at the cheerleader, my eyebrow raising as I watched her glare in the direction Skylar had just disappeared from. “What is up with you? You act like she’s your worst enemy or something.”

Once again, those brown eyes landed on me and softened slightly. “Nothing, she’s just not my favorite person in this school. What proposition was she talking about anyway?”

I shrugged, walking off in the direction my sister and Quinn had been heading. It didn’t surprise me at all that they were too engrossed with each other to notice I was gone. “They have an opening on the softball team and it just happens to be the position I played at my old school back in Chicago.”

It also didn’t surprise me that the Latina fell in step beside me, her eyes trained on the floor of the hall beneath our feet. “Oh. Can you even play? With your shoulder and after everything…that happened?”

My feet stopped involuntarily, Santana stopping a few seconds after. “Hey, I thought we were passed this? Isn’t that what we spent all last weekend talking about? You have got to stop blaming yourself for the accident. I don’t blame you, and neither does anyone else. We agreed to move on and let this year be the best year yet as friends, remember?”

I watched as the girl’s face fell slightly towards the end of my tiny paragraph, the motion confusing me for a few seconds. “Right, friends. I remember. I, uh…I have to go. It’s practice day and I don’t want to be even more late than I already am. Sue will have my ass. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Nodding, I watched as she walked away from me and into the locker room down the hall, never once glancing back over her shoulder or paying attention to anyone as they passed her. The girl was like a book written in a foreign language to me. There were a few moments when I could tell what she was thinking, and what was going on with her. Other times, I felt like I was lost and completely unaware of everything.

With a sigh, I finally made it out to the parking lot, finding my sister waiting by my car. “Hey, where did you go? I thought I lost you there for a few minutes.”

Shaking my head, I tossed my bag into the back seat before sinking into the driver’s seat. “I think I somehow managed to cross over into Wonderland. I’ll show you pictures when I find my way back.”

My sister gave me an odd look as she slid into the passenger seat beside me, but I guess opted not to comment and instead start rambling on about this afternoon’s performances and songs, all the while my mind kept going back and forth between a pair of beautiful green eyes and the familiar warmth of another pair of brown ones.


	5. A Little Birdie

**Ch:5**

**Logan**

“I appreciate you using your study hour to come and hear me out. I actually thought you were going to skip out on our meeting.”

Shrugging one shoulder, I opted to glance around the small office rather look at the older version of my sister. Hopefully this wouldn’t be taking long because I _really_ needed to talk to Rach and Q about some things. “Honestly, I thought about it, but I don’t break promises anymore, so…here I am, I guess.”

“I just want you to know that I’m not here to uproot anyone’s life.”

Finally, I turned my attention to the teacher, raising an eyebrow. “You think you showing up isn’t going to uproot any lives? Rachel can’t even mention your name without breaking down because of what you did to her. And what about Quinn? You don’t think that you being here doesn’t remind her repeatedly that she doesn’t get to know who her daughter is becoming? Or what starting the Trouble Tones is doing to the kids of the New Directions? This is our senior year, this is supposed to be our best year yet, and you’re just coming in and crapping all over it.”

Shelby let out a sigh, leaning forward on her desk as she slowly shook her head. “Lima is where I made a series of mistakes that defined me for sixteen years. Lima’s where I have to make things right again. I know that seems impossible, but I have to try. But I can’t get anywhere without some help, which is where I’m hoping you will come in. You’re just about the only kid here who doesn’t hate me. Mostly because I haven’t done anything to you personally to make you hate me…yet.”

“What makes you think I would help you? And you’ve done plenty to make me not like you.”

The music teacher stared at me for a few seconds. “You’re the only one who’s close enough to both Quinn and Rachel to gain me a little slack with them. I want to be a part of Rachel’s life, I always did. I just didn’t think she needed me. She had her fathers and that story she told me, about the glass of water thing? Have you heard that? That showed me that I missed too much, and I tried to fill that gap and it didn’t work. I never should have tried to fill it like I did in the first place. And I’m not personally trying to rub Beth in Quinn’s face, I just know what it’s like to miss it all. Their first words, the first time they walk. I remember what that felt like, and what that did to me. I don’t want Quinn to have to endure that, always wondering what if? What I’m asking of you is this. Convince both Rachel and Quinn to hear me out and let me say my peace and if they reject my offer then I’ll back off both of them and continue on like nothing ever happened.”

After studying the older woman for a few seconds to see if I could find any reason as to why she would be trying to pull a veil over my face, I rolled my eyes, leaning down further into the chair. “Fine, I’ll bring it up to both, but if they say no, that’s it. I won’t push the subject any further. Got it?”

Shelby nodded, letting out a breath and actually looking relieved since the performance the other day. “Thank you, but I must admit that I didn’t only want to ask you this favor, but I also wanted to ask you something. If you don’t mind that is?”

Shrugging again, I continued with roaming my eyes around the room, taking note of all the pictures of a familiar looking blonde baby and even a few with what I assumed were past group photos of Vocal Adrenaline. “Shoot.”

“Will told me about what happened to you last year. About your attack.”

My entire body tensed as I narrowed my eyes at the brunette. “That’s none of your business or concern, Shelby. And I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about it either.”

“I understand. I’m not an adult you can trust, but I hope that can change. You are the half-sister of my daughter after all. But the reason I mention it is because Principal Figgins has asked all the teachers who have you in class to keep an eye on you, just as precaution. Will figured you’d rather have a woman to talk to if something should ever arise. You may not know me, and you may not trust me, but if you ever need anything, Logan, I’m here to talk. No one should have to go through what you did.”

The promise caught me off guard, causing to me lose my glare as I blinked a few times before nodding. “Uh, thanks. I guess?”

Shelby smiled slightly before waving one hand towards the door. “You’re welcome, no go on. You’re free from the ice queen’s icy layer. You know where to find me if you need me. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow for the start of our mash off.”

Instead of trying to form what the hell just happened in my mind, I simply nodded, gathering my things together before making my way out of her office and towards the front entrance of the school, where I had promised to meet Rachel and Quinn.

No surprise that both the brunette and the blonde where waiting on me, standing shoulder to shoulder as they had their heads almost together talking quietly about something. And with a shake of my head, I cleared my mind, smiling as I approached the duo that had yet to notice my presence.

“I hope you two aren’t having too much fun without me.”

Much to my amusement, the two jumped apart, their cheeks reddening as they shook their heads and mumbled a reply to my comment. The actions caused to me roll my eyes and make a mental note to find a way to _finally_ get these two to admit their feelings to each other. Although that would probably end up with me viewing one of my sister’s numerous Power Points on why she and Quinn shouldn’t be together, and that I seriously didn’t want to do.

“Alright, are we just going to stand here or what?”

My sister cleared her throat, silently answering my question as she turned on her heel and marched out the doors of the school, leaving me and blonde to chuckle lightly before following the diva. Once we made our way through the parking lot and to the bleachers by the field where the Cheerios were practicing, we settled halfway up, all of us sprawling out as we watched Coach Sue shout to all the cheerleaders about something that never made any sense to me.

“So…I heard somebody was asked to come join the McKinley girls softball team.”

I glared at my blonde friend after my sister let out a gasp, only causing said blonde to laugh. “I told you not to tell anyone about that!”

Rachel was practically vibrating with excitement on the bleacher below me. “Are you serious? Are you going to join? Who did you talk to?”

While my sister continued to sprout off numerous questions, I glared at Q again, the blonde busting out in louder laughter than before. “You see what you did? You’ve got her started and now she’s never going to shut up.”

“…does this mean you’ll get a letter man jacket? Those would give you so much social status here…”

Quinn shrugged a shoulder, pulling out a book from her bag. “It’s fun, and I also heard from a little birdie that she asked by none other than Ms. Skylar Roberts. The _only_ other openly lesbian chick here.”

That caused another round of questions to come flying out of my sister’s mouth, and with a groan, I fell backwards until all I could see was the bright blue Lima sky.

“Are you going to join?”

Shrugging, I turned my head to look at my sister. “I don’t know. I mean, I wanted this year to be about me, since last year was so crappy and everything, and playing softball again would be great…but…I don’t know. We have actual competition this year in glee and we’re all going to have to pull a little extra weight since there’s less girl voices now.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that you actually flirted with Skylar?”

Raising an eyebrow, I turned to stare at Quinn who had her nose stuck so far in the book I was worried she might actually fall into the pages. “Who the hell told you that? And I most certainly did not flirt with her. I was just being polite.”

The blonde lowered her book, her signature Quinn knows all smirk in place. “My little birdie said you did. And might I add that said birdie was _extremely_ pissed off that she was flirting with you and vice versa.”

I quickly sat up, a frowning forming as I back tracked through that five-minute conversation with Skylar the other day to try and remember who else had been there. And then it hit me…

“Santana? Why was she pissed about me talking to Skylar?”

The blonde rolled her eyes, closing her book. “Because she’s totally in love with you and she just doesn’t want to admit it to herself or anyone else that she’s a closeted lesbian.”

Feeling the heat rise in my cheeks, I turned my attention to the field where said center of our conversation was standing next to Sue, glaring at any cheerleader who happened to spare her a glance for mercy. “No, that’s impossible. She’s established that she’s doesn’t have any feelings for me. Besides, we’re better off as friends.”

Rachel scoffed, snapping her fingers to tear my attention away from the Latina on the field. “Uh, hello? It’s no secret that you still have it bad for her, I mean every time we mention her name or she says something to you, you drift off into this glossy-eyed daydream or something inside of your head and stare at her like she’s the best thing to ever grace this planet.”

My cheeks had to be blood red now by how bad they were burning. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Yes, I do have feelings for Santana. That much hasn’t changed since last year, but she asked to just be friends this year. It’s what we agreed on.”

“So then what’s stopping you from joining the team? The fact that you flirted with this girl and liked it because you still have feelings for Santana and are attracted to someone else? Or is it really because of glee club?”

After opting to ignore the question, I let out a sigh, falling back on the bleachers again. “I don’t know, okay? Yes, I won’t lie. I was a little…stunned by Skylar’s looks and everything and I _may_ have flirted a little bit, but what good would it do to chase after someone else when the person I want still catches my attention?”

A blonde head interrupted my view of the sky, Quinn’s hazel eyes sparkling slightly. “You can like someone and still be attracted to someone else. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve done that before. Besides, look at it like this. If you and Santana were ever meant to be anything more than just friends, then you will be. No one ever said you couldn’t date along the way. If you like this girl, then go for it. Who even knows if you just think she’s cute? It could be nothing, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Rolling my eyes, I sat back up, smiling slightly. “Fine. I’ll go talk to the coach tomorrow and see if the spot on the team is still open. If they let me on, then I’ll see about _maybe_ getting to know Skylar a little better. I mean, you’re right, Q. I promised myself that things would be different this year, and if Skylar is meant to be a part of that then, who knows? Maybe something good will come out of it. Now, time for the real deal. What’s the plans for tonight? Are we invading one of our bedrooms again or are we splitting up the night?”

As my sister and Quinn went on with making plans for the night, I think I heard the mention of another sleepover, my eyes roamed back down to the field below us, where the Cheerios were finishing up with their practice. Most of the girls were limping off towards the school, and as a certain Latina was gathering up pom-poms, she glanced up towards the bleachers, giving a small wave that still managed to bring a dopey smile to my face.

“Hey. Are you ready to head back in for glee practice? We’re supposed to be doing a final check for the mash off performance tomorrow.”

Nodding my head, I spared one last glance at the field where Santana was still gathering things up before following the two down the risers and back into the school, the smile never leaving my face. Things were finally starting to look up this year.

 

 


	6. Rumor Has It

**Ch:6**

**Rachel**

“Are you sure this is safe?”

Finn let out a sigh, halting in his stretching before turning to look at me. “It’s dodge ball, Rachel. It’s not like we’re throwing huge chunks of metal at each other. It’s just a little friendly competition. Plus, I just really want to beat Santana.”

Rolling my eyes, I watched as the overly-large boy went back to stretching and glaring at the Trouble Tones who were doing the same on the other side of the gym, Santana only fueling the fire as she sent one of her signature smirks towards him.

I let out a huff, walking over towards my sister, who had opted to not take part in the game and instead sit on the sidelines, a half-eaten apple in one hand and a book in the other. “Can you believe this? It’s like some barbaric excuse to insert dominance. I never understood the needless point to play this game. In fact, I wrote a few choice letters to the school board politely asking them to take dodge ball out of physical education class.”

The blonde glanced up from her book, raising an eyebrow. “Letter _s_? You wrote more than one?”

“That’s not the point, Logan! This glee club, _my_ glee club is behaving like a bunch of five-year-old’s arguing over a piece of candy! And why aren’t you trying to put a stop to this?”

Logan chuckled before pointing over towards the Trouble Tones side of the gym. “Have you forgotten who is in the Trouble Tones? I tried to talk Santana out of this since Finn called the stupid match earlier today, but she’s impossible to talk to when she has her mind set to something. You should know this by now.”

The sound of a whistle blowing forced everyone’s attention over to Finn, who was standing in the middle of the gym with one rubber ball under his arm. “Alright, you guys! Let’s get this game started!”

With a small groan, I ventured away from my sister and took my place next to Quinn as everyone else took their own positions around us. And as soon as Finn blew the whistle again, signaling the start of the game, I knew I would be writing another letter to the school board in an attempt to have them take dodgeball out of the curriculum. One by one, each New Directions member threw and was hit with a rubber ball, myself included, until Finn and Rory were the only ones left standing. Judging by the way Santana knowingly smirked as she rounded them much like a lion does with their prey, all the while tossing a ball between each hand, I knew we had lost. Not that it surprised me. Logan had been right about Santana when she had her mind set to something, and she was out for blood.

However, as soon as she managed to knock Finn out of the game, they all began to gang up on Rory, most of the Trouble Tones hitting him harder than necessary with each ball until the boy was literally cowering on the gym floor. Logan and Kurt beat us at speaking up, my sister shouting profanities as Kurt and I helped the boy up, the other body handing him a tissue for his now bloody nose.

“What the hell, guys?! You won, congratulations, but you don’t have to be such dicks about it! Look at him! He’s got a bloody nose for god’s sake! What is your problem?!”

After gaining a few guilty looks from the opposing team, I watched as my sister and Kurt sat Rory down and begin to help try and clean up the blood still pouring from his nose.

I chanced a glance over the girl’s team, not at all surprised to see them scowling at us before they began to exit the gym, Santana lingering behind, still looking guilty before she eventually disappeared behind the gym doors.

I wasn’t aware of a presence behind me until I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped slightly until Finn gave me one of this constipated looks. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you there. Are you okay?”

Nodding, I returned my attention back the gym doors where the Trouble Tones has just left through. “I’m fine. I’m just surprised that they would stoop to that kind of level after everything we’ve all been through. I had thought Santana was going to be a better person this year. I guess she’s just still so angry at everybody and everything.”

From out of the corner of my eye, I saw Finn nod before frowning. “Don’t worry about Santana, okay? I’ll take care of her.”

Although the statement confused me, I simply nodding before walking back towards my sister, who was still tending to Rory’s bleeding nose on the bleachers. “Hey, is he going to be okay? He’s not hurt too bad, right?”

Rory gave me a thumb up and a smile, which I took as a good sign as my sister stood up, shaking her head. “I can’t believe they would do something like this. After everything that happened? After everything Santana and I went through after my attack last year?”

Placing my hand on my sister’s shoulder, I gave her a small smile. “Everyone makes mistakes, Logan. You know that more than anyone.”

“I know. I just don’t understand her sometimes.”

Nodding slightly, and after making sure Rory was okay, we all dispersed, myself and Logan being the last to exit the gym. “So, you said you had some news to share earlier before the dodge ball match?”

Logan nodded enthusiastically, reaching around to her bag before pulling something out and tossing it to me. Slightly confused, I unfolded the piece of fabric, noticing it was a McKinley High jersey with the number thirteen printed on it. “Okay, why do you have a jersey?”

“Well, you’re looking at the new left fielder for the girls’ softball team.”

I let out a squeal, wrapping my arms around my sister in a tight hug. “Are you serious?! That’s so exciting! When did this happen?!”

The blonde shrugged, taking the jersey back and replacing it in her bag. “I talked to the coach before the dodge ball game. Apparently, she had been expecting me to come and speak to her, my guess is because Skylar told her about me, and she said she did a little research about me playing back in Chicago and had my jersey and the practice schedule waiting on me.”

“And have you seen Skylar since accepting?”

Logan shook her head, slinging her bag back over her shoulder. “No, I haven’t, but she’ll probably know Thursday seeing as it’s our first practice and, by the way, the first playoff game is Saturday here at McKinley. I’m inviting the whole glee club, and the Trouble Tones and my moms are pretty excited about it.”

I could imagine my aunts being excited about Logan playing again. After her attack, they were so worried that she wouldn’t be able to do a lot of the things she loved to do, like boxing and playing. I’m sure hearing she was thinking about playing was a breath of relief for them. I know it was for me.

Slowly and surely, I was starting to see the old Logan shine through again.

* * *

 

**Santana**

Squaring my shoulders, I made my way down the hall, towards the jolly green giant himself, smirking slightly as the other students darted out of my way. Had it not been the fact that Logan kept me up for an hour lecturing me for the dodge ball game and taunting Finn, I wouldn’t even be doing this, but what can I do? If I don’t apologize, then there’s no way in hell that Logan will even look my way anymore. And even though we’re apparently supposed to be just friends this year, I’m not expecting how I feel about her to go away. Not with everything that happened last year.

“Hey Tubs! Can I talk to you for a second?”

Both Irish and Finn turned towards me, Finn sporting his signature constipated look of confusion while Rory looked slightly terrified, but still pointed a finger at me. “Hey, listen here. You can't make fun of Finn anymore.”

“Shut your potato hole, I'm here to apologize. I haven't been fair to you. You're not fat. I should know, I slept with you. I mean, at some point I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who's had one too many back alley liposuction.”

Irish stared at me wide eyed, letting out a quiet “whoa” before backing up slightly, causing me to send him a glare. “Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps the Clown. I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I'm sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Trouble Tones. And also, sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you're getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a _winning_ performance to rehearse, and the smell of your Pillsbury Dough Boy body is nauseating. It’s like being slapped with the stench of BO and powdered sugar, although, you know what? I would just watch out for Rachel come holiday time if I were you, because if I were her, I'd stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights.”

Once I was sure Finn was sporting a more confused look now than ever, I waved a few fingers at the two before spinning on my heel and sauntering on down the hall, barely able to contain my smile until Finn’s voice caused me to halt and turn back towards him. 

“Hey, Santana! Why don't you just come out of the closet? You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down, because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Logan and she might not love you back after what you did last year. That must hurt, not be able to admit to everyone how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. See you at the mash off.”

Those few students who had lingered behind while I was apologizing to Finn were now staring open-mouthed at me, overhearing the freakishly tall football player’s announcement. I stood frozen in my spot, watching as Finn glared at me before walking away from the scene, leaving me to hear the not-so-loud whispers and snickers coming from all directions around me.

This was it. Everyone was going to know about me now.

How long before everyone started to treat me like they did Kurt? Before I was shoved into lockers and dumpsters? Before the stares and whispers would become too much and I went insane? How long before it spread around to my parents? Or Logan?

_Everything_ is ruined.

Finn was right…I’m a coward…and I deserved this.

* * *

 

  **Logan**

“Settle down, guys. They’re about to start.”

I watched as Mr. Shue sat down next to Shelby, pointedly looking at Puck before the house lights dimmed and the Trouble Tones took the stage, Adele’s _Rumor Has It_ blaring from the auditorium’s sound system.

I had to admit it, the Trouble Tones were really good. We definitely had some competition with them for Sectionals, but something was off with the performance. Mercedes was putting it all in, but Santana, on the other hand, seemed distracted. She kept glancing from the other girls to the audience, specifically where Finn was sitting a few seats down from me, the look on her face being somewhat caught between pissed and upset. It was definitely not a look that Santana usually sported.

Leaning over the armrest, I tapped Quinn on the shoulder, forcing her attention from the stage to me. “What?”

“Have you noticed something is up with Santana? She seems kinda…”

“Distracted?”

Nodding, both the blonde and I returned our attention back to the stage upon hearing the music switch to _Someone Like You_ and Santana take the lead. Once again, she seemed distracted from the performance, only this time she managed to make eye contact with me and hold it as she sang her verse, the sadness evident in her voice until she rejoined the group for the chorus.

“Yeah, something is definitely going on with her. You know what it is?”

Quinn shook her head, whispering about asking Rachel before leaning over towards my sister and after a few seconds she gave me a shrug. I guess Rach didn’t know anything either.

After the third time of Santana eyeing Finn, I leaned forward in my seat, snapping my fingers to get the boy’s attention, thankful that we were far enough away from Mr. Shue and Shelby. “Hey, Finn! Did you do something to piss Santana off?”

The boy shrugged, shaking his head as the group sang their last few notes. “Not that I know of. I mean, we had an argument earlier in the hallway, but all she did was insult me and then we went to class.”

Frowning, I watched the boy for a few seconds, attempting to gauge if there was more. By the way he squirmed for a few seconds, my guess was proven, but before I could ask him more questions there was a collective hush around the auditorium as the center of our conversation was now standing in front of Finn, glaring at him with such force that I actually felt kind of sorry for him. Whatever he had done, he was going to regret it. “What did you just say to her?”

Finn held up his hands, his eyes wide. “I was just answering a question.”

“No, you're lying!”

Upon hearing the girl’s voice waver slightly, I noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. “Santana, he’s not lying. He was just answering my question.”

The Latina glanced over at me, the sight of her looking so distraught causing my heart to ache slightly before she turned her attention back to Finn. “You told her too, didn’t you?”

From behind me, I heard some rustling before I heard Mr. Shue’s voice. “Santana.”

“Everyone's gonna know now, because of you!”

Finn finally lost his scared face, sitting forward slightly as he returned the glare she was giving him. “The whole school already knows! And you know what? They don't care!”

If I thought that the girl was pissed before, the look she was giving Finn now was enough to make even me cringe. What the hell was going on? “Not just the school, you idiot. Everyone!”

“What are you talking abo...?”

Before Finn could get the question out, Santana’s hand had already made contact with his face, and everyone was now staring wide-eyed at the two, confused about what had just happened.

Quinn stood up, grabbing Santana by the upper arm and dragging her out of the auditorium, the girl shouting in Spanish at the still stunned boy sitting in his seat, Mr. Shue and Shelby following them.

“Finn? What was that about?”

The boy shrugged, rubbing the side of his face as she stared out at the still full stage. “I…I’m not sure what she meant about everyone. The school knows now, yeah, because when we were arguing I might have mentioned it out loud, but like I said, they don’t care, but still. Why did I get slapped?”

Something in my mind put all the puzzle pieces together, and I stood up from my seat, taking a deep breath before standing in front of the boy.

“Knows about what, Finn?”

The boy glanced up at me, a confused look on his face. “About Santana being gay.”

The collective gasp that was heard around the auditorium was deafening as I glared down at the boy, feeling the anger bubbling inside of me. “You _outed_ Santana?!”

My sister stood up, grabbing my arm. “Logan, calm down. The poor boy has already been slapped and if you get expelled for beating him up, you won’t be able to help Santana.”

Shrugging her arm off, I bent down to the boy’s level, placing each hand on either side of him. “Listen, Hudson. Whatever high and mighty pedestal you’re sitting on is about to be shattered. There is no excuse good enough on heaven or earth that can defend what you did. Outing someone is wrong and offensive, and you deserved the slap you got. Honestly, if it had been me, I would have beaten the living crap out of you. Now, I’m sure this is going to get around to Principal Figgins, and when it does, you’re going to tell him that it was an accident, a stage slap and it was all just a part of the competition. Got it? And then, you’re going to tell Santana that you’re sorry for outing her and that you’re such an idiot. It’s about time that McKinley gets a lesson in what exactly acceptance is. Do. You. Understand?”

The boy nodded frantically, and as I pulled back up and gathered my belongings, promising to meet Rachel at home, I exited the auditorium, making my way towards the girls’ locker room. I was thankful that they had installed a punching bag, because punching it was my only other option if I wasn’t going to beat up Finn. But Rachel had been right. I promised Santana that when the time came I would help her with coming out, and, although it may not be how either of us expected it to happen, I was keeping my promise. And I would be of no use to Santana if I was suspended for beating the boy up.

Thankfully I was already planning on taking a few laps around the track, and was dressed accordingly, so after blaring some music through my headphones and imagining the bag was Finn’s face, I let myself get lost in my punches.

I was punching for Santana, and what she was going through and what she was about to go through. I was punching for myself, because I couldn’t prevent this from happening to one of my friends. I was punching the kids who were too afraid to come out…and I was punching for Nicole, because she killed herself because she couldn’t handle the pressure of what being out meant…because I had failed in everything that I promised myself I would fight for.

I wasn’t lying when I said McKinley needed a lesson in acceptance, and as an idea popped into my head as a certain song started playing, I let out a sigh, hoping I could convince Mr. Shue and Shelby to go with it.


	7. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

**Ch:7**

**Logan**

I let out a sigh as I leaned against the entrance to the boy’s locker room, nursing one Lima Bean special in one hand as I waited patiently for the sounds of guys laughing and making annoying sounds with their armpits to cease, keeping my goal in mind as I got yet another whiff of sweaty football player BO.

Once again, if there was any doubt in my mind that I wasn’t gay, let this exact moment be my epiphany.

Eventually, after what seemed like ages, the boys began to file out of the locker room, some having enough decency to smile politely, like Mike. Of course, Puck wolf-whistled as he walked past me, earning a middle finger that only made the boy laugh as he continued on down the hall. Lastly, the doofus I had been waiting for finally stumbled out, giving me a confused look as I grabbed him by his shirt and began to drag him down the hallway.

“Whoa, where are we going? I have to go to a meeting in a few minutes. Are you kidnapping me because of what happened with Santana yesterday? Because I swear I didn’t know that guy was going to make that commercial and I was just trying to get her to stop being so mean to everyone and please don’t kill me.”

Rolling my eyes, I stopped a few feet down the hall from where Principal Figgins’ office was located, turning to look at the flustered boy who was now shuffling from one foot to the other nervously. “Relax, Finn. I’m not going to kill you, but I am going to tell what’s going to happen when you go into that meeting in a few minutes with Santana and Figgins. Here’s what you will say. You’re going to say that it was all just a little friendly competition, part of the act. Call it whatever you like, but you’re going to deny that she hit you.”

“What?! But she slapped me! Hard!”

“And you deserved it! No one deserves to be outed Finn! Especially not through a commercial and not because you blurted it out in front of God and everyone else! Coming out should be something someone wants to do, and they should do it when they’re ready. So, listen and listen closely, you’re going to propose to Santana to come back to Glee and we’re _all_ going to help her through this. I don’t care that she is the competition, she’s still our friend. You’ll get her to agree, understand? Because I’ll be damned if I have to go through losing someone again because of someone else’s ignorance and you sure as hell can bet I won’t be the same person who didn’t do a damn thing about it.”

The boy nodded vigorously, the fear evident in his eyes. Thank god that even after my attack I was still able to impose some fear into people. I wasn’t one for violence, but no one can be blamed for the affairs of the heart and the consequences thereof. “Okay, but what if she doesn’t want to?”

“Beg, plead, threaten to tell Figgins the truth and get her expelled, I don’t care, just make sure she’s in the choir room this afternoon. Got it? If you fail to do so, I will make your life a living hell, Hudson. Meet me in the auditorium after your meeting is over. Understood?”

Once he nodded again, I finally let him go, watching as he scurried away from me and into Figgins’ office, my eyes following his every movement until he disappeared inside. I prayed that the boy followed my orders, because I really didn’t want to make his life hell, but what was I supposed to do? I loved Santana, and even though I was slowly getting over the fact that nothing was ever going to happen between us, I would probably always love the girl.

“Hey, stranger. I heard you took my advice and joined my team.”

I turned towards the voice, smiling slightly as Skylar walked up next to me. “Hey, Skylar. I think I actually owe you a thank you for that. Whatever you told coach about me must have been pretty damn good. I could hardly get my greeting out before she handed me my jersey.”

The blonde chuckled lightly, shrugging one shoulder. “I just told her the truth. That I knew you were a pretty damn good softball player and told her you were worth a google. But my intuition is almost always right. Especially about people.”

“And it’s telling you is that I’m a great softball player?”

For a split second, something sparkled in the blonde’s green eyes. “No, that’s not all it has told me about you, Mackenzie. Usually it just confirms that what I want, I get.”

Before I could question what that meant, or question the sparkle in her eyes, someone else was calling my name and I turned to see a certain Latina cheerleader walking towards us.

“I guess that’s my Que to head out of here. I’ll catch you at practice later?”

Nodding, I waited until the blonde had disappeared around the corner before turning my attention to Santana, who honestly looked like crap. Even though I knew she had put on the tough front, and was sporting her usual “don’t fuck with me” scowl, I saw past it. I saw the hurt, and the tiredness in her eyes and the uncertainty. I saw a broken girl who needed a friend.

“Hey, Lopez. How are you holding up?”

The girls face paled slightly as she stopped in front of me. “You heard?”

Nodding, I simply wrapped my arms around the girl, hugging her tightly. “I heard.”

“Wait, you heard it about it all? _All_ that Finn said?”

Pulling back slightly, I kept my hands on her arms, raising an eyebrow. “All that Finn said? What else did he say besides outing you to everyone?”

Relief flooded her features, but before I could ask, the girl had already returned my hug from a few minutes ago, her chin resting on my shoulder. “Thank you for keeping your promise about being here for this. It means a lot to me.”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

After a few minutes, I pulled away again, realizing that hugging for this long was probably not a _just friends_ kind of thing. “Alright, well, I should be going. I have some things to take care of before class starts.”

“And I have to go sit through this damn meeting with Figgins’ about slapping the confused look off Frankenteen’s face. Wish me luck.”

She started to walk off, but before she could get very far, I reached out, grabbing her hand. “Hey, listen, whatever happens in there, I’m still on your side, okay?”

The girl smiled, nodding and squeezing my hand before making her way into the office, leaving me standing in the exact same spot with, what I’m sure was a dopey smile on my face that never failed to make an appearance after being in the girl’s presence.

Eventually, I managed to pull myself together long enough to remember that I had things that needed to be taken care of, and I let out a huff of air before hurrying off to try and figure out the last few things that this glee thing needed for us to pull it off.

* * *

 

  **Finn**

“I’m suspending you and this Snixx two weeks. No argument.”

Oh god. Suspended?! Logan is going to kill me if I don’t fix this now and I’ve seen what that girl can do to people. That cheerleader from last year? Her nose was crooked forever after her fight with Logan. No way in hell was I getting on her bad side more than I already was.

During my mini panic of dealing with Logan’s wrath, I completely managed to zone out of the conversation and before I could stop myself, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind with what Logan had said earlier. “She didn’t slap me.”

Everyone was giving me confused looks, and I nodded quickly, continuing on to see if I could fix this. “I know it looked and sounded like she did, but she actually didn’t.”

Shit, was is it called when you pretend to slap someone on stage?! Logan didn’t tell me that! In an effort to keep this going, I turned towards Shelby, “What is it called in a play or movie when you pretend to hit someone, but you don’t?”

The woman raised an eyebrow, looking a lot like Rachel did when I would zone out while we were dating, and I would stop listening to her talk. “A stage slap?”

“It was a stage slap! That’s what it was.”

“What’s your angle here Finn? The truth.”

Shrugging, I gulped slightly, time to bring it home and save my ass from Logan. “If she didn’t actually hit me, then you can’t suspend her right? No. Then that’s what happened.”

* * *

 

**Santana**

 “I’m a mischievous bitch, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell this is about.”

The beached whale shrugged, looking around the hallway quickly before settling his attention on me. “Well, I want Sectionals to be a fair fight. And that can’t happen without you on the Trouble Tones.”

“Well, actually, it would be a fair fight with me off the team.”

The boy continued on as if he didn’t hear me, “And I also kinda feel bad for you. Look, I know we’ve been at each other a lot over these past couple of years, but the truth is I think you’re awesome. And when you hide who you are, I feel like you hide part of that awesomeness with it. And that’s why you act out because you hurt inside every day.”

Raising an eyebrow, I crossed my arms over my chest, something clicking in the back of my mind that he had an ulterior motive for saving my ass back there in the office. “That’s sweet, but if you think that in exchange for keeping me from getting suspended, I’m gonna come-.”

“Back to the glee club? Exactly. You and all the Trouble Tones. I, uh, have an idea for a lesson, but it won’t work out if you’re not there.”

And there it is, everyone. He may sound like he cares, but I know the only reason why he’s doing this is because it really would be too easy to win at Sectionals if I wasn’t on the Trouble Tones. This reeks of Mr. Shue and his golden boy’s stench of terrible idealism. “Did Ms. Corcoran and Mr. Shue already agree to this?”

The jolly green giant (that one’s a classic: never fails to make everyone laugh) let out a sigh, shaking his head. “Look, it’s up to you. Either you can come back to the choir room and embrace your awesome or take a two-week vacation and enjoy your seat in the audience for Sectionals.”

* * *

 

  **Rachel**

“I still can’t believe you managed to do all of this.”

My sister shrugged, sliding the piano over a few more inches before glancing around the room. “I would have killed for this kind of support when I came out. Besides, it’s the least any of us can do. She’s our friend.”

I smiled slightly, taking my seat in the front row and raising an eyebrow. “ _Just_ a friend?”

Logan let out a sigh, rubbing her hand over her face. “Okay, fine. I admit it. I’m not doing this as just her friend, okay? I’m doing this because the last time this happened to a girl that I loved, she ended up dying and I’m not about to let that happen this time.”

“Logan…”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. She’s never gonna know it was me who organized this whole thing anyway, so to her, I’m still just a friend and I’ve accepted that and I’m trying to move on. Like you suggested.”

Frowning, I sat up straighter in my chair. “Wait, what do you mean she doesn’t know it was you who organized this week’s lesson? Who does she think did it?”

My sister let out another sigh, grabbing her bag and dropping it in the chair next to me. “I may or may not have threatened Finn to say that Santana didn’t slap him and have him get Santana to come back to glee this week for this lesson, and I also had Finn persuade Mr. Shue and Shelby to do this as well.”

Okay, I knew that Logan had feelings for Santana, and it didn’t come as a shock that she just admitted to me that she loved her, but this was a whole new level for Logan. Then again, she never has dealt with what happened to Nicole face on, and I feel like her doing this and not letting Santana know it was her, is her way of dealing with it.

“I’m proud of you, Logan. I hope you know that.”

My sister smiled sadly at me before taking her seat next to me as the final bell rang and the halls began to fill with the chatter of students and teachers alike. Within a few minutes, most of the glee club members began to file in, including the Trouble Tones and I could feel Logan visibly breath a sigh of relief that she had managed to pull this off so far.

I, however, was slowly coming to realize that with this week’s lesson means having to sit through the entirety of glee club with Shelby. After finally talking it out with Logan and Quinn, I managed to sit through at least one lunch period of Shelby apologizing for her actions regarding us and our non-existent relationship. Call me whatever you may, but part of me was believing that maybe Shelby actually meant it this time. Maybe she was sorry for what had happened between us, and maybe she did want to start over, and she had put the ball in my court and I was currently straddling the fence between yes and no.

Thankfully, Finn was already standing up in front of the two clubs, and I glanced around to see that I had managed to zone out while everyone else had entered the room. Logan was still sitting next to me, glancing over at Santana once every few seconds nervously. I carefully took of my sister’s hands into mine, earning a small smile from the blonde as she relaxed slightly in her seat.

“Can someone tell us what’s going on, please?”

Finn awkwardly shuffled to the white board and scribbled something down on the board. “This week, the Trouble Tones and New Directions will both be singing music created by ladies and for ladies.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Logan literally face palm herself. Leave it to Finn to make this out to be some kind of reference to lesbians.

“Oh, hell no.”

Finn ignored Santana, glancing over towards us, my sister motioning to Finn to continue on with what I assume was a practiced speech that she had wrote for him. “Next week, all of us will be going to Sectionals, and one of us is probably going to win. But, Santana, we’re worried about you.”

There was a scoff from the back of the room. “Worry about yourself, fetus face.”

“Glee is about learning to accept yourself for who you are, no matter what other people think. And that’s what this music is all about.”

Santana slowly raised her hand, the look on her face priceless as she glared at Finn. “So, wait, I don’t even get a say in this? Not cool.”

“Everybody in this room knows about you, Santana. And we don’t judge you for it. We celebrate it because it’s who you are. Look, I know not everybody outside of this room is as accepting and cool, but we’re doing this assignment this week so that you know in this rotten, stinking mean world that you at least have a group of people who will support your choice to be whoever you want to be. That’s it. That’s what we’re doing here. Blaine? Kurt?”

The two boys shuffled to the piano, where they launched into an “I understand what you’re going through” speech and then pulled off a successful rendition of _Perfect_ that even I had to admit was emotional, and I could see Santana visibly see that everyone here was just trying to help her. You could tell from the look in her eyes that she was trying to fight back the tears and fear that came with this situation. And almost as instantly as I saw those few seconds of emotion from the girl, it was gone, replaced with her hardened walls that were always up.

“That’s good. That’s great. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Finn, especially. You know, with all the horrible crap I’ve been through in my life, now I get to add that.”

* * *

 

**Santana**

I would be lying if I said that most of this week has been awful, and we’re only on day two. There’s only a few more days before the commercial airs, and I appreciate what the glee club is doing, I really do, but what can I say? Old habits die hard.

Sure, Kurt knows what it’s like to be gay and come out and take it hard from all the jerks in this school, but he doesn’t _understand_ anything about me. None of them do, and I’ve had almost every single member of both clubs come up to me and tell me how deeply sorry they are for what I’m going through. Everyone except Rach, Q and Logan: probably the one person I thought would be there more than the others. And all I had received from the girl since last week was the occasional smile in the hall or the polite reply when I would greet her during the classes we shared together.

It’s bullshit.

“You think this is hard?! Try running through a field of burning coals while carrying a foreign correspondent on your back, that is hard! Get off my field and shower, you bunch of sloppy babies!”

With a sigh, I slowed myself from the numerous laps Sue had been making us run during practice, and as I was on the opposite end of the track, I started off towards the building before getting distracted by the recognizable sound of someone’s laughter and a coach shouting that practice was over from the field to the right of the track.

Sure enough, there off in the center of the softball field was the girl who occupied a lot of my thoughts, laughing with a certain green-eyed softball player that I would like to slap the shit out of, and as said blonde reached out to pull Logan into a seemingly more than friendly hug before separating to enter through the side of the school where most of the cheerios were disappearing into as well.

Feeling the heat rise through me, I jogged up to the school, purposefully making sure I knocked into the blonde softball player with my shoulder, almost sending the girl falling to the ground. I watched, amused, as a few of her other softball buddies helped her regain her balance before she sent a glare my way, telling the others that she would be inside soon.

“What the hell is your problem, Lopez?”

I shrugged, leaning against the door frame that led to the girl’s locker room. “You are my problem, actually. You need to back off Logan, got it, batter girl? Because, even though I hate to admit it, your face is too pretty to mess up.”

The green-eyed girl rolled her eyes, reaching around me to close the door. “Listen, Santana, I get that you like Logan. It’s painfully obvious to everyone except her, but you’re not the only one interested in her. And from what I’ve been told, at least I’m not afraid to admit that to her instead of hiding it away and pretending my feelings, and her, doesn’t exist. So, before you go on and try to be the jealous wannabe girlfriend, take a look in the mirror first. Logan doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Don’t throw around empty threats, Lopez. Not unless you’re prepared to act on them.”

With a scoff, I placed my hand around the girl, successfully pushing myself closer to the girl. “You may _think_ that you know Logan, but you know nothing about her. And I can promise you that none of my threats are empty. I mean every word of them.”

Without letting the girl slip another word in, I opened the door and disappeared into the locker room, smiling slightly when most of the either darted out of my way or give me the usual look of fear.

Yeah, I still got it.

* * *

 

  **Santana**

"What do you think of this week’s assignment?”

The sudden sound of a voice caused me to jump slightly, and after sending a glare to the girl who had caused the mini heart attack, I shrugged slightly, going back to rummage through my locker. “I don’t know. It’s like Finn is forcing me out of the flannel closet.”

Logan frowned, leaning against the locker next to mine. “No, Salzar’s ad is going to run, and that’s what is forcing you to deal with this.”

I let out a sigh, shutting my locker harder than necessary. “Why is it so important to all of you for me to do this?”

For a few seconds, I saw something flash through the girl’s eyes, something akin to pain and fear. “Because I’m worried about you, Santana. We all are. I know first hand what it’s like to lose someone because of something like this. I don’t want to lose anyone else that I care about, and just last week some kid who made an “It Gets Better” video killed himself. I don’t want that to be you.”

I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t stop momentarily at the look in this girl’s eyes. It was so heartbreaking and full of protectiveness, something that I never thought someone could feel when looking at me or about me…something I never thought I would be deserving of. And Logan was definitely someone I didn’t deserve.

After mentally shaking myself from my thoughts, I shrugged again, distracting myself with sorting a few papers in my binder. “Well, thanks, but that’s never going to happen. I would miss myself too much.”

“Nicole said the same thing. She told me she was strong enough to handle it, and I believed her. I never did anything about it, and I basically forced those pills down her throat. I care about you, Santana and that means something to me. _You_ mean something to me.”

* * *

 

  **Logan**

Taking a deep breath, I took a seat at the piano, my fingers testing out a few chords before I began to play the familiar tune. I had perfected it years ago, after Nicole’s death, to help try and regain some normalcy. It was the first song I played following my seven-month absence from anything that reminded me of my life before everything went down.

I glanced up from the piano keys, my eyes locking with a certain brunette sitting in the front row. “ _I come home in the morning light, my mother says when you gonna live your life right? Oh, mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones and girls they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun._ ”

The usually upbeat song had long been turned into a slow acoustic version, one that I was gladly singing the get my point across to the girl that we were all in this for the long run, together.

“ _The phone rings in the middle of the night, my father yells whatcha’ gonna do with your life? Oh, Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one, but girls they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have, that’s all they really want…is some fun. When the work and day is done, oh girls, they wanna have fun. Girls just wanna have fun._ ”

Rachel slid into the piano seat next to me, taking over playing the slow piano tune as I stood up and made my way over towards Santana, smiling softly. “ _Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world, but I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, and girls, they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have, that’s all they really want, is some fun. When the work is day and done, oh girls, they wanna have fun._ ”

I slowly bent down to Santana’s eye level, noticing a few tears welling up in her eyes, taking the girls hands into my own. “ _That’s all they really want, is some fun. Oh, those girls, they just wanna have fun._ ”

As the last note from the piano rang throughout the room, I stood from my crouch, still holding onto Santana’s hands as tears slowly made their way down her cheeks. “We’re here for you, Santana. We all love you.”

The Latina nodded a few times before launching herself from her seat and throwing her arms around my neck, quietly mumbling out a thank you as I returned the hug just as tight, slowly rubbing circles on the girl’s back and smiling as the rest of the New Directions and Trouble Tones all gathered around us to form one huge group hug, a group hug that had all of us laughing by the time it ended.

For a few seconds, it was as if the glee club hadn’t been split into to rivaling teams. We were, and always would be, a family. A family that protects and loves and preserves through anything that life would throw at us.

 


	8. Never Have I Ever Been in Love

**Ch:8**

**Logan**

“Do you like parties?”

Raising an eyebrow, I leaned around the door of my locker, confused by Skylar’s sudden question. “ _Do I like parties_?”

Skylar rolled her eyes, leaning against the unoccupied locker next to mine. “Yeah, you know, loud teenagers and music and drinking?”

Laughing lightly, I tossed my brush back into my locker before closing it. “Yes, I know what a party is, and I’ve never really been to one. Unless you count one of Quinn’s sleepovers a party. Why are you asking?”

For a split second, hesitation filled her usually confident green eyes. “Uh, I was wondering if maybe, after the semi-finals tonight, we could go to Jenny’s party she’s having to celebrate? Win or lose, it’s still been a great season.”

“Yeah, she mentioned it to me the other day. Is the team going together, or would we be going separately from the team?”

Skylar shrugged, gathering all her things together to dump them into her duffel bag. “No, the whole team is going, but I was hoping we could go. Like, together?”

“So, this would be like a date? Is that what you’re trying to do? Ask me to be your date to this party?”

Once again, the blonde shrugged, rummaging through the contents that she had just dumped into her duffel bag. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to go. I just figured that we could hang out a little. We really don’t get the chance to hang out between that glee thing you do, and practices and you kinda disappear on the weekends, so it was just an idea. But you don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to.”

An image of a familiar pair of brown eyes automatically came to mind, and for a split second, I found myself starting to say that I wasn’t ready to go out on a date yet, but then Quinn’s words popped into my head. “ _You can like someone and still be attracted to someone else. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve done that before. Besides, look at it like this. If you and Santana were ever meant to be anything more than just friends, then you will be. No one ever said you couldn’t date along the way. If you like this girl, then go for it. Who even knows if you just think she’s cute? It could be nothing, but you’ll never know if you don’t try._ ”

After mentally shaking myself and forcing all thoughts of Santana out of my head, and our obvious complicated…whatever...I smiled slightly, nodding my head. “You know what? I’d love to. A party sounds like a great way to celebrate.”

Skylar’s face automatically brightened up, that usual sparkle returning to her eyes. “Seriously? That’s great! So, right after the game, we can shower here and then head out?”

Nodding, I picked up my bag before slinging it over my shoulder. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you later?”

My smile grew as I turned and left the girl’s locker room, feeling a little excitement about tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date, and I was beyond nervous, but I was looking forward to it. Skylar’s a great girl, and just like everything else in life, I was just gonna have to let this play out and deal with it.

“Hey, Mackenzie! Wait up!”

I glanced over to see most of the glee club members, both the New Directions and Trouble Tones walking down the hall, each of them wearing Titan colors in some way of form, causing me to smile even brighter. “Hey, you guys look peppy!”

Quinn was the first to bounce out from the group, looping her arm through mine. “It’s your first softball game and it’s also a huge game for you guys, of course we’re going to dress appropriately.”

“Speaking of the game, we were wondering if you had any plans afterwards?”

“Actually, you all know that party my captain is throwing to celebrate?”

Most of the heads nodded, and I shrugged, squeezing Quinn’s arm. “I’m going. To the party. You all are invited if you wanna go. I’ve heard the glee club can party like no one else, and yes, Puck, there will be alcohol.”

The mo-hawked boy’s hand lowered almost as fast as he had brought it up, a grin forming on his face. “I’m game. There’s nothing sweeter than chicks and booze.”

Rolling my eyes at his words, I returned my attention back to the group as a whole. “Anyway, you’re all more than welcome to come if you want.”

The small group erupted in chatter, the majority saying that they would come. This calmed my nerves slightly. It would be a lot easier to handle this date with all of my friends there. “Great! The party starts at eight on the dot. Just, guys, don’t get pregnant or get anyone pregnant, okay?”

A resounding round of laughter came from everyone, but Rachel was the first to sober up, stepping out to stand on my other side. “Okay, are we all carpooling together? I probably won’t be drinking, and I can fit at least four more people in my car.”

Biting on my bottom lip, I chanced a glance towards the back of the group where a certain Latina was deep in conversation with Mercedes. “Uh, I won’t be carpooling with you all. I have a date tonight, so me and her are going to meet up after the game and head out together.”

Everyone fell silent, a few of the members forming smiles on their faces, or in Puck’s case, a look that told me there were inappropriate thoughts swimming through his mind. The others, namely my sister and Santana were simply staring at me with blank looks on their faces.

“Who’s the lucky girl?”

Clearing my throat, I quickly looked away from Santana’s blank look, instead catching Quinn’s gaze. “Skylar.”

The blonde smiled, pulling her arm away only to wrap it around my shoulders. “Okay, then. Logan is out in the carpool. I won’t be drinking either, I don’t need another Beth situation, so I can carpool anyone else who wants to drink as well. Just let me or Rach know by the time the game is over, okay?”

Everyone dispersed from the impromptu meeting, and I quickly scanned the retreating forms, only to find the one person I was looking for no where in sight. Rachel caught my eyes wandering, squeezing my hand lightly. “Hey, it’ll be okay.”

I let out a sigh, turning and wrapping an arm around my sister and the blonde who hadn’t left my side. Right now, I couldn’t be stressing over Santana, who was always hot and cold about everything. Right now, I needed to concentrate on the game and my date afterwards. “Alright, this is a huge favor to ask, but I think I might need a little help deciding what I’m going to wear tonight. Would you two be as so kind to help a poor girl out? Please?”

The two girls began to ramble on about proper things to wear to a party, and before I knew it, I was in the middle of an argument about whether or not to wear a dress, the word “no” falling out in the direction of my sister, eliciting a laugh from Quinn as we made our way towards the parking lot and my sister’s car.

* * *

 

  **Santana**

The stands fell silent as the batter of the other team came up to home plate. Our girls were still ahead of the other team, and this was the opposing team’s last attempt at the bat. My eyes automatically fell on my favorite softball player, standing in the middle of the outfield, hands on her knees as she watched every single move the other team made. The sight made me smile slightly to myself, but it dropped just as quickly when I noticed Logan’s eyes move from the batter at the plate to her left, where Skylar was standing. The two shared a look before both returned their attention to the game, a smile on both of their faces.

From my spot on the edge of the field, I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing now more than ever that looks could kill. Because if they did, Skylar Roberts would be dropping dead at the moment.

But I had no right to act jealous.

I had told Logan that we should just act like last year happened. That we should just make this the best year possible. As friends.

Even now, like it did then, the word made me cringe. There was no denying that I had feelings for the blonde. Hell, if I was being completely honest, these feelings were now more likely falling into the love category. But I had been a coward, afraid of what it would mean for me to admit my feelings. I was afraid of what my parents would think, of what other people would think. So, I bottled everything up and shut it away, and in the process, I pushed Logan away.

And now she was going on a date with Skylar.

The sound of the ball cracking against the wooden bat brought me out of my self-pity long enough to cheer with the rest of the cheerleaders as the softball flew through the air. The crowd was still silent as the ball came closer and closer to the ground, all while the batter was flying around the bases.

As soon as the ball was in within Logan’s reach, the cheers died a little, at least until the ball was safely within the confines of Logan’s mitt and the main dude up front declared it an out, and our girls the winners. The bleachers erupted in cheers, as did our team, all of them racing towards Logan, who was simply holding up the mitt with the ball, a bright smile on her face as she was tackled by her team mates.

My eyes scanned over the sea of red and white on the field, and eventually my eyes landed on who I had lost track of, only to find a certain scenario that both creating a huge hole of hurt in my chest while also fueling the fire that I had been trying to dim all afternoon.

Standing in the middle of the softball field was Logan, with Skylar’s arms around her, their lips locked as the rest of the team members whistled and clapped.

Ducking my head, I let the pom-poms that I had been holding drop to my feet, quickly gathering my bag and letter man before heading off in the direction of the parking lot.

I was done being scared. I was done with letting my fears get in the way of everything. I earned my spot at the top of this fucking food chain, and I was done playing the nice little friend. If Skylar wanted war…well, she’s got herself a war.

* * *

 

  **Logan**

“Stop fidgeting, you look great.”

Glancing at myself one more time in the rear view mirror of Skylar’s car, I sent the girl next to me a small smile. “Thank you. I’ve just never been to an actual party before. Are sure I look alright?”

Skylar’s eyes roamed over me, her smile growing. “Yes. You look fine. And I am honored to be your escort for your first party, but you can’t really experience the party from the car. We should probably go in.”

Nodding, I took a deep breath, waiting until Skylar was already out of the car before slipping out of the passenger seat, smoothing out the wrinkles of my shirt. Thank god for Quinn and my sister’s help. Well, mostly Quinn’s. My sister’s taste in clothing wasn’t exactly…mature, but Quinn had slipped me into a pair of ripped up jeans and simple dark grey tee shirt. It was comfortable, but also looked hot. Not to mention, my make up was on point.

A hand suddenly came into my view, and I held Skylar’s gaze for a few seconds before matching her smile and taking her outstretched hand. Even from the driveway, the music could be heard, along with the voices of all the other kids who had gotten here before we did.

Skylar was the first to enter the house, our hands still attached as my nostrils were hit with the scent of sweat and alcohol. There were a few kids already giggling like crazy, some slumped over one another while others were busy dancing on the makeshift dance floor in Jenny’s living room. Thankfully, her house was huge, so it wasn’t too suffocating.

Our team captain met us in the living room, red and white face paint smothered on her face and cup of something blue in her hand. “Ladies! Glad you could make it! Drinks are in the kitchen, the bathroom is just past the kitchen on the left, and for later…the bedrooms are upstairs and there’s a bowl of condoms and socks on the hallway table. Just hang a sock up on the door handle and have fun!”

Feeling the heat rise in my cheeks, I quickly ducked away from the obviously drunk Jenny, dragging a laughing Skylar behind me. “We’re only fifteen minutes late and already everyone is wasted. Tonight should be fun.”

My eyes found my sister and friends all huddled on one end of the dance floor, and I turned to Skylar, pointing in their direction. “We should probably go say hi.”

The blonde nodded, and as we integrated ourselves into the small group, all of us getting into the music and dancing for a good solid half hour, laughing at lame jokes in between the songs, the night gaining more fun as it went by.

Eventually, most of us schooled away from the dance floor, and I found myself walking behind my date as she and my sister were giggling about something, Quinn on my left.

“Hey, you haven’t seen Santana, have you?”

Shaking my head, I felt my mood dampen slightly upon thinking about the Latina. “No. I haven’t. The last place I remember seeing her is at the game. I thought she was supposed to carpool with you and Rach?”

Quinn nodded, her eyes scanning the groups of teenagers as we passed them on our way to the kitchen. “She was, but she texted and said she’d just meet us here.”

“Hey! Mackenzie! Bring your friends down here and join the game! We’re playing Never Have I Ever and as our MVP, you’re doing it first!”

Rolling my eyes, I followed Skylar and the rest of the glee club down into the basement, where a few of the other softball team members were already huddled into a small circle with some girls I recognized as Cheerios.

“Okay, and of you who are not willing to drink, you can sit out and observe. Take some notes as I’m sure there’s going to be something you can use as blackmail on someone.”

I laughed as my sister automatically pulled Quinn to one of the couches away from the circle, the look on her face telling me that she was more than willing to gain some blackmail about me. Grabbing Skylar’s hand, I pulled her down into the circle, waiting as Jenny filled shot glasses with tequila and placed them on the inside of the circle.

Upon feeling something hit the back of my head, I turned to glare at my sister only to see her staring in the direction of the basement stairs. My eyes followed her line of direction, immediately latching onto Santana as she stepped down the last step, my eyes widening. She was dressed a lot like I was, in a pair of form-fitting skinny jeans and low cut black tee shirt that showed _a lot_ more cleavage than mine did. The room was suddenly rising in temperature as I tore my eyes away from the girl, staring down at the tray of shots.

“Hey.”

My head snapped up at the voice, my cheeks still burning as I smiled politely up at Santana. “Hey. We were all getting worried that you skipped out on the party.”

The Latina shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. “I had to make a stop at my house. Congrats on the win by the way. I would have told you at the game, but you seemed a little…,” she glanced over towards Skylar’s direction, her eyebrows pulling together, “preoccupied with things.”

“Yeah, thanks. Uh, are you playing?”

The brunette smiled, walking around the edge of the circle until she sat down next to a laughing Brittany. I gulped slightly, looking towards my team captain as she stood at the head of the circle. “First off, I would just like to say congratulations to everyone on the team. This season kind of took a hard hit when we lost a key player, but thanks to Skylar’s very pointed eye, she scored us Logan who was responsible for catching the ball tonight and successfully winning it for us. So, on behalf of the team, we all thought you should have this.”

I caught the softball as it flew towards me, smiling and flipping it over and over to see most of the team’s signatures on it, chuckling as Skylar took it from my hands and proceeded to sign it with a sharpie before tossing it back to me. “Thanks, guys. This means a lot to me.”

Jenny smiled back, hushing the applause that had started upon mention of our win. “Okay, okay. Enough of this sappy bullshit. Let’s get down to business. Rules of the game are as follows. You think of something, anything, no matter how crazy or random it is, and those who are guilty of having done that must take shot. Logan gets first question, since she’s obviously the star tonight and then we’ll move counter clockwise. Logan?”

Clearing my throat, I placed the softball in my lap, crossing my legs. “Okay. Never have I ever…had inappropriate thoughts about one of my teachers.”

I laughed as most of the group picked up a shot glass, downing it quickly. We went around the circle a few times, and I was lucky that I had only done a few of the things on everyone’s list, so I wasn’t completely buzzed as the rest of the group, Skylar included, who had her head resting on my shoulder.

“Okay, okay. I got a great one! Never have I ever been in love…with anyone sitting in this circle!”

No one reached out to take a glass, until Santana reached out to take a glass, catching my gaze as she pointedly emptied the glass and set it aside, her eyes never leaving mine as she did so, eliciting a round of whoops and cheers from the other players.

A warm filling slowly began to bile up from the bottom of my stomach, expanding to my chest, so I quickly snatched a glass from one of the trays, downing it and placing it back on the tray, excusing myself from the game and made my way up the stairs, desperate to have some sort of fresh air to clear my thoughts. I shouldn’t be happy that I felt that entire mini performance seemed to be aimed at me. I was on a date with Skylar, and Santana had made it perfectly clear that we were just friends.

Leaning against the cool bricks, allowing my eyes to close, I could faintly hear the sound of the front door of Jenny’s house opening and closing. “Logan? Are you okay?”

Reopening my eyes, I raised an eyebrow in Santana’s direction. “Am I okay? Of course I’m not okay! What the hell was all of that for?! Are you trying to get under my skin?! Because it’s working!”

The Latina shook her head, taking a few steps towards me, her arms crossing over herself. “Look, I’m not trying to get under your skin. I wasn’t lying or joking around when I took that shot. There was someone in that circle that I’m in love with. I just wish I had realized it sooner and wasn’t too afraid to admit those feelings.”

I could sense where this conversation was going, and I quickly pushed myself off the wall, shaking my head. “No. We are _so_ not having this conversation right now.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with now?”

Turning back towards the girl, I let out a frustrated breath, my anger and emotions getting the better of me. “Because it’s not fair! I’ve waited over a year to hear you say that! You are all I’ve thought of since I met you, Santana, and you said we were better off as just friends! And now that I’ve finally got the courage to try and move on, you’re suddenly announcing that you like me?! How is any of that fair?!”

Santana’s eyebrows pulled together. “You think I wanted to wait so long to tell you? I was scared and confused, but I know who I am now, Logan. I know what I want, and I’m not about to give that up because softball Barbie decided to try and dig her claws into you.”

I rubbed my eyes, letting out a groan at how crazy my life was. This seriously couldn’t be happening, could it? I must be dreaming, or I’ve had too much to drink. Or some other rational solution to this. “Santana, what do you want me to say? That it’s all going to be okay? That’ll I just chose you over Skylar?”

“No. I just wanted you to know that I’m not giving down without a fight. And I don’t plan on losing you again.”

Glancing up at the girl, I watched as she stared at me for a few seconds before taking the last few steps to close the distance between us, her lips crashing against mine and successfully forcing my brain to race back to the first time I kissed her in the girl’s bathroom last year, and all the events and pain that followed.

Eventually, she pulled away, both of us breathless as she leaned her forehead against mine. Without a word, she pulled away, leaving me to watch as she made her way down the sidewalk in the direction of her house, never once looking back and leaving me to wonder what in the hell just happened.


	9. Sleepless in Lima

**Ch:9**

**Logan**

Sleep must be a wonderful thing.

I wouldn’t know, though, considering that I haven’t slept through the night since the party last Friday. And here I am now, yawning and feeling like complete and utter crap as I walked through the always crowded halls of McKinley High School a week later, my mind thousands of miles away preoccupied by Santana’s words.

_“There was someone in that circle that I’m in love with. I just wish I had realized it sooner and wasn’t too afraid to admit those feelings.”_

Letting out a sigh, I kept my legs moving forward, only allowing them to stop when I reached my locker and began to clumsily enter my combination into the lock. When I eventually succeeded, with a few choice words somewhere in the middle, I quickly checked the time before shoving whatever I’d need for my first few classes and heading in that direction.

It wasn’t surprising to see Skylar waiting by the door, glancing around the hallway until her eyes settled on me and a smile graced her face, the sounding guilt that I had been feeling all week churning in my stomach.

“Good morning, sunshine. You look like hell. Did you have to study again last night?”

If by ‘studying’ she meant staring at the white ceiling of my room while sad and depressing music floated around me all night long as I contemplated the existence of everything, yes. “Yeah. This AP History class I have third period is supposed to be really hard.”

She pulled me into the classroom and into our usual seats, where I automatically let my head fall and rest against the cool surface. Skylar eyed me over once, raising an eyebrow. “You have the highest grade in that class, why are you so worried about this test?”

 _Shit_. “Uh, I haven’t really been studying as much as I should have been when I got the guide last week. With the play-offs and the party and Glee this week, I haven’t really had time to study until I get home and I just want to make sure I’m prepared. I need the best grades to get a scholarship.”

The blonde nodded, still eyeing me a few times before our English teacher shuffled into the room and called everyone’s attention to the front of the room to begin class. I hardly paid attention, my eyes boring into the whiteboard and rereading the words repeatedly, but my brain wasn’t following. Instead, I was widely aware of Skylar’s presence next to me, and how the girl had been nothing but kind to me this year, also made me happy.

My date with Skylar last weekend was my first official date since Nicole’s death, and I surprised myself with how much fun I had with the other girl. In all honesty, Skylar made me feel safe and happy. Happier than I have been, at least. I could easily see myself staying with her for the remainder of the school year, and even after we graduate. I could see myself being happy and content with us…but…even as easily as I could see those things, I could easily hear Santana’s words being replayed over and over in my mind.

Which brings my thoughts around full circle to the main reason as to why I wasn’t able to sleep, or pay attention in any of my classes. Santana.

I was cold when I came here last year. I was full of hate and angry at the world for what had happened with Nicole, for allowing myself to let things spiral so out of control that the girl I loved ended up taking her own life.

And then I met Santana. Sure, at first, I couldn’t stand her, because she was a lot like me. Angry, scared and cold. Only she was struggling with figuring herself out and accepting who she was. Maybe that’s what drew me to her originally. The fact that on some level, even if they were completely different scenarios, she still understood.

And I fell for her. Hard and fast. We quickly became friends, and we both came less cold. I actually felt like some sense of normalcy has returned to my life. Eventually the kiss happened, and so did the attack and the events that followed. Those months of sitting in the hospital, going through rehab and wishing that I could just see her were hell. All that time of not knowing, of being pulled back into the constant state of self-hate killed me. Her coldness afterwards, though, was the only thing holding me back from choosing her.

It was worse than losing Nicole. I hate to say that, but it was. I had lost Nicole, was unable to see her again, to hear her voice or her laugh. But with Santana…she was here. I woke up knowing she was still safely here in Lima and chose to close herself off completely from everyone and everything.

I don’t blame her for doing it. Of all the people here, I understood that with the territory of liking other girls comes hate and backlash. Hell, I had become one of those statistics of kids who had been on the receiving end of physical abuse for simply loving someone. I can’t begin to even think of how scared she had to have been, imagining herself in that situation and imagining that if she were to come out, to have to deal with things like this on a daily basis everywhere she went.

So maybe she did it to protect the both of us, but I can’t help but hear this voice nagging in the back of my mind that had Finn not accidentally outed her, she wouldn’t have come out at all and ever admitted to herself or me, about her true feelings. How can I except to allow myself to live in constant fear of her running every time something bad happens?

That was the only thing stopping me from running to her at this very moment.

And it was killing me.

The bell ringing above my head pulled me out of my thoughts, and after a quick glance between the white board and the notebook that I had been scribbling in, I slapped it shut before Skylar could notice what I had written repeatedly throughout my incoherent notes. All over the page was different variations of the letter ‘S’ written in odd places. It wouldn’t have startled me so much had a few of those letters begin to eventually spell out Santana’s name.

“Hey, do you mind if I walk with you to your next class? I have something that I would like to discuss with you.”

My head snapped up at the sound of Skylar’s voice, my hands grabbing my notebook and pulling it against my chest. “Uh, yeah, sure. Just give me a second to put everything up.”

Ignoring those green eyes watching my every move, I quickly slid my English notebook in between my History book before slinging the bag over my shoulder and following Skylar out of the classroom.

“So what’s so important that it warranted a walk to my math class?”

Skylar’s usually confident exterior cracked slightly as she shuffled from one foot to the other as we stopped in front of my math class. “Uh, well, I may have overheard Rachel saying that you guys still need a few more members for Glee. And, uh…well, I always wanted to join, but I never had the reasoning to audition. Until I met you and, I don’t know, would you find it weird or anything if I joined the club?”

Blinking a few times out of surprise, I shook my head, smiling a little. “No, I wouldn’t be weirded out or anything if you wanted to join, you just never took me as a singer.”

Skylar shrugged, smiling herself. “I mean, I’m not the best or anything like that, but I think I’m okay. Besides, I know how important this is for you and all the others and having enough people to complete is important and I get to spend more time with you if I make it.”

Smiling a little more, and feeling slightly better, I chuckled. “Well, you are just full of surprises, aren’t you? First the date last weekend and now you’re wanting to join my club? Should I be worried or…?”

The blonde laughed, shaking her head. “No, but if we’re being honest, helping you guys out and genuinely wanting to be on the team is not my only reason for wanting to join.”

Raising an eyebrow, I leaned against the back wall, my silent response to let her know I was listening. The blonde stared at me for a few minutes before her face turned serious and she let out a sigh. “Is there something going on between you and Santana Lopez?”

Gulping slightly, I tore my eyes away from the blonde before taking a deep breath. “Uh, can I ask why you’re asking me?”

“This is going to sound really bad, I mean I know we’re not official or anything, but I may have exchanged a few words with Santana a few weeks ago and it’s not the first time I’ve noticed that I’m not her favorite person.”

Frowning, I crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head. “Wait, Santana said something to you? What did she say?”

Skylar let out a sigh, the tension and annoyance radiating off the girl as she retold the encounter with the Latina, and I cringed slightly when she finished, a mumbled sorry rolling from her mouth as she glared at the ground.

“You never answered if there was something going on between you.”

The ringing of the bell interrupted me as I opened my mouth, and I quickly glanced between a few of the other teenagers piling past us into my math class, my sister and Quinn saying a quick hello before trudging in last. “Uh, listen, I can and I will explain everything to you after class, okay?”

The blonde rolled her eyes, her arms crossing over herself defensively. “That’s not exactly helping my worries, Logan.”

Pushing all thoughts and confusion about my feelings aside, I pulled the girl into a quick hug. “I know, I’m sorry. I wish I could explain it all now, but you have a Chemistry class to get to, and Rach will kill me if I skip.”

“She doesn’t have to know.”

“She already saw us. Please, don’t freak yourself out over this, okay? I promise I will tell you everything after class. I’ll meet you at your locker?”

Skylar held my gaze for a few seconds before dropping it and nodding, squeezing the hand that she had somehow managed to grab before turning and heading in the direction of the science commons. I let out a sigh of relief, stepping into class and taking my usual seat behind Quinn, ignoring the questioning looks both her and my sister were giving me.

Much like this morning’s English period, my thoughts and eyes eventually drifted towards the opposite side of the room, where I noticed Santana’s seat sat unoccupied. I hadn’t seen the girl all day, and she was either upping her skipping game or hadn’t shown up to school, again. For the third day this week.

I hadn’t seen much of the Latina at all since the party this past weekend, the only time I had managed to catch a glimpse of her, besides in our shared math class, was in the crowded hall, where I would quickly turn and head in the opposite direction. I felt bad for practically avoiding the girl. In fact, it was beginning to feel a lot like last year when the girl wouldn’t even acknowledge my existence after the attack. And I had no intention of feeling like that again.

Even so, I wasn’t ready to just throw away that friendship, so avoiding her was out of the question. I just needed to swallow my fears and my ego and talk to the girl, right? All feelings aside, we’re practically adults, we should handle these situations like adults. Right?

Wrong. Because as soon as the door flung open, and I was ripped out of my thoughts by the very girl who had been occupying them as she silently stalked her way towards the teacher’s desk, handing over a folded up sheet of paper before taking her seat. My eyes followed every motion, only breaking away when she glanced over directly at me, that seeming permanent scowl softening slightly before she winked at me.

Quietly clearing my throat, I attempted not to squirm too much under the heat of her gaze as I began to feverishly scribble down whatever our math teacher was writing on the board, all while trying to cool the blush that had risen in my cheeks after Santana had winked at me.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity of trying to ignore Santana’s obvious staring, the bell rang and I was up and out of my seat, forgoing dumping everything into my backpack and instead choosing to just pack it all in my arms as I made my way down the hall with every intent of meeting Skylar by her locker. Or at least I was until a hand was gripping my upper arm and I was being dragged into the nearest bathroom by Santana.

“Santana, what are you-?”

“Listen, I only have a few minutes before your girlfriend comes looking for you. Let me talk. Why are you avoiding me?”

Scoffing, I pulled away from her, dropping my bag at my feet before shoving everything into it. “I’m not avoiding you. And Skylar is not my girlfriend. We’ve been on one date.”

The Latina rolled her eyes before crossing her arms over her chest. “Whatever. And you didn’t answer my question. Why are you avoiding me?”

Suddenly feeling my lack of sleep and annoyance over the whole situation, and having a few flashbacks from the last conversation I shared with this girl in the bathroom…and everything that followed afterwards…I picked up my bag, shaking my head before walking towards the bathroom door. “You really have to ask me that, Santana?”

Walking out of the bathroom, I was fully aware of the presence of the girl following me, but I opted to keep my eyes forward, heading in the direction of my previous destination before I had been kidnapped and pulled into a bathroom.

“I know, what I did at the party was stupid. I get that, but what was I supposed to do? You were cozying up with softball girl and it made me feel like shit. Literal shit, so I just went with it. It’s not like it was intentional to confuse you or ruin your night or whatever the hell I did that’s made you basically run in the opposite direction every time you see me. But I meant what I said. Every word of it. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to realize it and come to terms with it, and it sucks, yeah. I wasted a lot of my time with you by trying to ignore my feelings, but I’m ready to move past that if you are. But you have to tell me if that’s what you want to do. I’ll back off of Skylar, if you really don’t want to be with me, but I need you hear you say it, Logan. You have to tell me if you still have feelings for me, or if you’re gonna try with Skylar.”

Stopping in the middle of the hallway, I bit down on my bottom lip before turning to face Santana. “I can’t tell you what I want, Santana. Because I don’t know what I want. After everything that we’ve been through? It’s…god, it’s all so screwed up.”

“I’m sorry.”

Letting out a sigh, I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking my head. “Stop apologizing, Santana. Please. I’m not mad at you or anything, okay? I just need to get my bearings. I need to figure out what I want.”

The girl nodded, backing up a few steps. “Okay. I, uh, guess I’ll see you later in glee?”

“Yeah.”

She simply nodded again, before turning and walking in the opposite direction, the crowd of students still parting like the red sea for the cheerleader. And after waiting until the blur of red and white to disappear around the corner, I eventually found myself at Skylar’s locker, where the blonde was waiting patiently, fishing through the locker’s contents with a look of concentration etched on her face.

“Hey, I was wondering what was taking you so long. Everything okay?”

I smiled slightly, leaning against the cool metal of the locker next to her. “Yeah, I was just caught up by something. No worries.”

The blonde returned the smile, closing her locker before looping her arm through mine and leading me in the direction of the cafeteria. “So, are you going to tell me what’s going between you and Santana?”

Leading the blonde through the crowded area, and bypassing our usual table were the gleeks were mixed with some of the girls on the softball team, I pulled her towards the outside area, where most kids were taking advantage of the cool, but still slightly warm weather. Once we were sat at a table far enough away from any prying eyes, and ears, I took a deep breath, meeting Skylar’s gaze. “Okay. I guess I should really just start at the beginning of everything. I moved here because Rach was being bullied, and I had some…experience…with bullying, so I thought that I’d come here and put a stop to it. I did, for the most part, but it wasn’t easy. But I managed to become friends with most of the glee clubbers and even the cheerios. Specifically Quinn and Santana. We all became really close after an incident involving one of the other cheerios, and with Quinn, well, that’s when she became my best friend. But with Santana, well, I’m not gonna lie, I had feelings for her and we kissed. In the bathroom, but I ran away because I knew she wasn’t ready to come out and I felt awful for doing it, but then my attack happened and San and I distanced ourselves from each other. We actually didn’t speak to each other for months after it happened. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she shut me out. And I moved back to Chicago, until this year, when I heard the glee club didn’t have enough members to compete, and I wanted to come back, so I did. To be with Rachel and my friends. Chicago doesn’t exactly hold the best memories either, and when I came back, Santana and I agreed that this year we should focus on ourselves and being in our last year of high school, so we decided to just be friends.”

Skylar, who had been quiet and who’s face had remained emotionless throughout my entire mini speech, and I watched the blonde while chewing on my bottom lip. If this whole freaking situation hadn’t been stressful or confusing before, it definitely was now. Everything was out there in the open. Save for the kiss Santana and I shared at the party, but that was a discussion for a later date.

“What about the party? She disappeared almost as soon as you did, just after she announced that she was in love with someone there. You wanna explain that?”

Letting out a sigh, I let my head rest in my hands, figuring I might as well just reveal everything. Skylar’s tone was neutral, which wasn’t giving away any hints as to what the girl was thinking or feeling. “I don’t know what happened. One second we were playing that stupid game and then next she was staring at me saying she was in love, and I panicked and I did need air. It was getting claustrophobic in there. Santana met me outside, and she confessed that she had always had feelings for me, she was just too afraid of what those feelings meant. And after everything that’s happened with her over the past few weeks, she said she felt more confident about herself and…shit, she kissed me again and told me that she planned on fighting for me. That’s why I’ve been so freaked out this week, because I’m confused. I like you, I do. But I can’t lie and say that I don’t have feelings for Santana, because I do. And I think that I probably always will. I just…I’m sorry, this is _so_ unfair to you, Sky.”

Slim fingers wrapped around my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. My eyes automatically landed on Skylar’s that had, much to my surprise, held a slight amount of amusement in them. “Hey, I’m not mad or anything, okay? If this is why you’ve been so crazy this week, you should have came and talked to me about this. Am I upset that she kissed you while we were on a date, yeah, but for the situation as a whole, not really. Emotions are complicated, and you shouldn’t feel upset or anything just because you have feelings for two different people.”

A good majority of the stress that had been sitting on my chest for the past week finally lifted, and for the first time in a few days, I felt as though I could finally relax. Sure, things were still overly complicated (seriously, my life could’ve been a freaking multi-billion dollar soap opera), but at least everything was all out there.

“Wow. I honestly did not expect you to be this cool about it. Most girls would have been pissed off and ended everything instantly.”

The blonde shrugged, standing up from the table and holding a hand out from me. “Well, I’m not most girls, Logan. Come on, our friends are probably thinking you pulled me out here to murder me. They’re probably worried sick.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that came out of my mouth, letting the girl drag me back through the cafeteria before we settled at the table still full of our friends. My sister gave me an odd look, which I returned with a silent nod, promising that I would talk to her about it later before launching into a discussion with Mike about the newest dance he was dying to show to the club, my smile growing as I heard the familiar sounds of my friends laughter over the hum of the crow of teenagers packed into a tiny room.

* * *

 

  **Rachel**

“She kissed you?”

Logan nodded, bringing another spoonful of ice cream up to her mouth. “Yep.”

Letting my own spoon drop back into the separate pint of vegan ice cream my sister and aunts kept in stock for me, I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest. “And then she declared her undying love for you? Right there. In front of everyone?”

My blonde sister frowned, pulling the spoon out of her mouth. “Well she didn’t say it like that, nor did she scream it to the heavens or anything, Rach, but yeah, she told me she was in love with me.”

The only sounds that filled my sister’s bedroom, where we had decided to retreat to for our weakly sleepovers, was the sound of Logan eating her own ice cream, my thoughts to preoccupied with the new information that I had just been given. “And I am just _now_ hearing about it?!”

Logan rolled her eyes, setting the container of ice cream on her bedside table before turning back to me. “It’s not like I wanted to keep it from you, Rach. I honestly just hadn’t had the time to talk to you about it, yet. With the glee clubs coming together for ladies week and then the upcoming Sectionals performance and just school in general, we were both a little busy.”

Scoffing, I crossed my arms over my chest, scowling at my sister. “That is no excuse to keep something like this from me, Logan! This explains why you’ve seemed so tired and moody all week, but I wasn’t going to pressure you to say anything because I thought you were just dealing with some personal things. I want you to come talk to me about stuff like this. We’re sisters, for goodness sake! This is what we’re supposed to do! We talk about relationships and feelings and kisses!”

The blonde across from me smirked, her eyebrow raising. “Yes, because you’ve been oh so diligent with confessing what’s brewing between you and a certain blonde, no?”

Feeling the heat rise to my cheeks, I dropped my scowl and my eyes, opting to swirl my spoon in the now soup-like consistency of my ice cream. “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on, Rach. We’ve danced around this long enough. You have the biggest crush on Quinn and it’s not like it’s discreet! You practically drool around her constantly.”

I let out a sigh, shaking my head as I glanced back up at my sister. “I do not drool. Just because I can appreciate Quinn does mean I drool over her.”

“Ah ha! You’re not denying the crush!”

“And you’re trying to change the subject from yours and Santana’s kiss!”

Logan groaned, flopping back on the bed. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, okay? I was too freaked out by it and stressed because of everything else. I was going to tell you, but we really have been busy. But there’s nothing to talk about anyway.”

“Logan, Santana Lopez just told you she was in love with you while you were on a date with another girl. And said girl just joined the New Directions. You’re going to have to make a decision over which girl you want to be with, and you’re not going to just deal with it all by yourself.”

The blonde mumbled something incoherent, something along the lines of a whiny “I know,” and I simply decided to let the topic go for now. I wasn’t expecting my sister to voice her choice at this very moment, but something was telling me that her choice had already been made, and she was just too afraid to take it.

“Is it really that obvious?”

My sister lifted her head up from the bed, quirking it to the side. “Is what that obvious?”

Feeling the heat rise to my cheeks again, I tore my eyes away from hers, instead letting them roam around the room. “My, uh…crush…on Quinn. Is it really that obvious?”

“Oh. No, not really. But Q is my best friend, and you are my sister. I notice things. Like how you always brighten up a little when Q first enters the room, or how it dampens your mood when she’s not there. Not to mention that smile you always give her. It’s like your signature meg-watt smile but twice as mega-watt. So for me, it’s painfully obvious how much you two like each other.”

Letting out a very unladylike groan, I let my head hang in my hands. “Oh god, Logan. You’re right. I’m head over heels for the girl. But there’s no way in hell that she could possibly ever like me back.”

“And why not?”

Frowning, I glanced up at my sister, ushering my hands in the air around as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe. “Uh, because she’s Quinn Fabray. She’s tall and beautiful and smart and perfect and I’m just…me.”

My sister laughed lightly before hopping off the bed, plucking my bowl from my hands. “Are you forgetting that the Quinn you just described also is a huge nerd for Harry Potter, she even owns her own house robes and collects _all_ the wands from the movies? Or that she does indeed own a pair of glasses that she wears around the house? Or that’s incredibly sweet and she cares about you, Rach. I know she does. And if, and that’s a pretty big if, she doesn’t like you back or she turns you down, well…then she’s an idiot on top of being a huge nerd. And by the way, I happen to think that Rachel Berry is smart, beautiful and insanely talented. Best sister ever, short stack.”

Smiling softly at my sister’s retreating form, I got up and followed her into the kitchen, quickly tying up my hair in a ponytail before settling onto one of the bar stools at the island looking into the kitchen. Logan’s back was to me as she washed whatever dishes we had dirtied over the past few hours, the sound of the running water filing the otherwise silent house.

“Sometimes I wish I had a mom. To talk about these kind of things.”

Logan glanced over her shoulder, one eyebrow raising slightly. “Thanks, sis.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…well, you have both of your biological parents in your life. What is that like?”

My sister shrugged, turning the water off before turning fully to look at me, leaning against the counter behind her. “I have no idea. I mean, Hiram hasn’t always been there. At least not physically. Before we moved here, I only ever saw him during breaks or occasionally a birthday, if it was planned. But, yeah, I guess it’s nice having both. Why?”

Biting my bottom lip, I picked at my nails before glancing up at my sister. “Just wondering, that’s all.”

A few more moments of silence passed between us, and eventually Logan turned around to finish rinsing off the last few remaining dishes. “You know, as much as my mothers want to be, they’re never going to replace who your mother is. And I’m sure Shelby would listen, if you ever needed to talk. Just saying.”

It was my turn to raise the eyebrow as my sister moved around the kitchen, my eyes following her every movement. “Two years ago, when I called you in tears you proceeded to call Shelby every derogatory term you could think of at the time. If memory serves me correctly, I believe you said, and I quote, “I swear to whatever god she believes in, I will kick her ass up and down every street from here to New York City as many times as I need to.” You were such a huge fan of her then, so what changed?”

Logan let out a sigh, leaning across the counter from me. “Look, Shelby and I talked, okay? She told me she regrets what happened between you two and she wants to make it right. Now I’m not sure if she’s going to run again, Rach. I can’t tell you that. But maybe you should talk to her. And if it’s not something you want to peruse, then tell her no, but after what you just told me, you need to at least talk to her.”

“Since when do you, of all people, believe in second chances? Especially now, with Santana?”

My sister frowned, looking down at the counter before looking back up at me. “I told myself after the attack that I would never hold any more grudges, Rach. The only thing running through my mind was what if? What if I never got to see you, or my mothers again? Or laugh at something Quinn said, or Mr. Shue’s rapping? Every time I see this scar over my eye, it’s a reminder that I almost didn’t get to give or take any second chances. I’ve been close enough to death too many times to question them anymore.”

She kept our eyes locked for a few minutes, her words settling between us. Damn her and her life experiences. “Okay, you have a point, but I’ll make you a deal, okay? I will promise to talk to Shelby if you promise to not let what happened last year affect your decision between Skylar and Santana.”

The blonde let out a sigh, her head dropping onto the counter before she lazily held out a hand for me to shake. “Deal.”


	10. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning: This chapter contains a more in-depth look into Nicole's suicide, so if you prefer not to read that, just skip over the part that is in italics and bold lettering.***

**Ch:10**

**Logan**

“Oh my god, you guys, have any of you seen Rachel or Quinn today?”

I paused in my chewing, placing my apple back down on its napkin before swallowing and automatically glancing around the lunch room for my sister and best friend. “Uh, no. Not since this morning. Why? Is something wrong?”

Tina shook her head, settling into the open seat across the lunch table from me. “No, it’s just…well…”

Before Tina could finish her sentence, the echo of chatter from the student body suddenly vanished, and my head snapped around to see my sister and Quinn standing at the entrance of the cafeteria. Why it would bring everyone to sudden muteness, I had no idea why. Or at least not until the pair started towards our table and my eyes automatically landed on their conjoined hands swaying slightly between them.

“Holy shit, Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray are holding hands?”

“Huh. Weird. But, hey, that explains why Quinn was so hell bent on making Rachel’s life shitty. Love does mysterious things to you, dude.”

Tearing my eyes away from the pair, I turned my body back to the table, slamming my hand down on the table lightly and bringing everyone else’s attention to me. “Listen, this is obviously new. When they sit down, try not to bombard them with questions, okay? The last thing they need to is be scarred away, and they’ve already brought a lot of attention to themselves as it is. Okay, guys?”

From on down the table Kurt nodded, leaning forward slightly. “I agree with Logan. Coming out is hard enough as it is. Being asked a bunch of questions like you’re being interrogated for a crime only makes it worse. We should just respect their privacy and they’ll tell us everything about Faberry when they want to.”

“Faberry? What the hell is that?”

Kurt sighed, holding out both hands before bringing them together. “Berry and Fabray. Together they make Faberry.”

Rolling my eyes, I tossed an unused napkin at the boy, light laughter erupting from around the table. Everyone managed to promise not to ask questions or act oddly just before Quinn and Rachel sat down in a few of the empty seats next to me and Skylar, both of their faces reddened slightly from the obvious attention they received on the way in.

“Hey, Rach, do you remember which team we’re up against at Sectionals tomorrow? I can’t remember their group’s name.”

My sister cleared her throat, looking over at me suspiciously. “Uh, The Unitards?”

“Right. The Unitards. That’s it. I heard their lead singer is good.”

After receiving a scoff from the short brunette next to me, and a slap on the shoulder, I feigned innocence, glad that everyone was now laughing and we weren’t surrounded by the awkward silence following the outing of the new couple. 

“Oh come on, Rach. I was joking. Sheesh.”

From off to my left, I noticed Skylar pulling out her phone before excusing herself from the table while a few of the others were arguing about where our competition could have gotten their name from.

“It obviously has something to do with ballet.”

“Or they chose it so people would be so blindsided by their name that they don’t see them as real competition. Especially since Logan was right. Their lead singer is actually pretty good. Harmony? I think that’s her name.”

Letting out a sigh, I glanced around the table as their voices began to fill with panic about our setlist and the competition. “Guys, hey! Everyone shut up!”

The table quieted, and I stood up, looking over all of them. “The New Directions are the kings and queens of this competition. Who gives a shit if they have one good singer? We have great singers and great dancers. There’s no way in hell that we’re not winning Sectionals. No, the New Directions are going all the way to New York City and we’re gonna win. So shut up and stop stressing out. We got this.”

With that being said, I slid back down into my seat, leaning in towards my sister to whisper something in her ear. “So I see you took my advice.”

The blush she was sporting earlier was back at full force, and I laughed lightly, gently shoving her as we immersed ourselves into conversation again. Thankfully, no one was panicking over the upcoming performance anymore. Instead, there was talk of costumes and possible song choices for Regionals and eventually Nationals.

* * *

 

  **Skylar**

The vibrating of my phone in my pocket was distracting as Logan was attempting to steer the conversation away from Rachel and Quinn and back to the competition we were participating in tomorrow. And with a quick glance at the text message and over towards the table where the Trouble Tones were sitting, I let out a sigh. I knew this was coming sooner or later, and judging by the absence of a certain cheerleader from the table, apparently it was going to be now.

 

**_Outside. Bleachers. Now. -S.L._ **

****

I excused myself from the table, after promising Logan that everything was okay and made my way towards the locker room and eventually out on the track, where the sender of the text message was casually leaning against the last row of the bleachers, her face neutral and covered by a pair of sunglasses.

“What do you want, Santana?”

The Latina shrugged, pushing herself off the bleachers and stopping a few feet from where I was standing. “Just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow at Sectionals.”

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest, steadying a glare in the direction of the other girl. “We both know that’s bullshit. What do you want?”

“Okay fine, you got me. I wanted to talk to you about Logan.”

“What about her?”

“This week is going to be hard enough for her as it is, okay? Whatever feud thing we have going on, can we at least put it on hold until next week? The last thing she needs is for us to be fighting over her on top of this week’s anniversary and the competition tomorrow.”

Frowning, I uncrossed my arms, shaking my head as I retraced through the girl’s words. “Wait, what anniversary are you talking about?”

The Latina raised an eyebrow, pushing the sunglasses down just far enough to look at me. “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

The girl fumbled for a few seconds with her words before settling back down onto the row she was occupying before. “Holy shit, you seriously don’t know? Wow.”

I was quickly growing tired of this, and I let out an aggravated sigh. “Santana, will you just tell me what the hell is going on?”

Santana was silent for a few minutes, staring at me through the sunglasses. “Fine. You know that Logan isn’t from Lima, right? She’s from Chicago. She had a girlfriend while she was there, and both of them were picked on for being gay. So one day, the girl had too much of it and she killed herself. That’s why Logan came here, to protect Rach from being bullied. Because she blames herself for what happened. The anniversary of Nicole’s death is two days from now. That’s why I suggested taking a break from trying to kill each other. As much as I would love to rip that blonde head off your body for trying to make a move on my girl, it’ll just make her week even shittier for her. And I don’t want that.”

Ignoring the comment about Logan being ‘hers,’ I was trying to process what in the hell I had just been told before I was brought out of my thoughts by Santana brushing by me. “Listen, I don’t know why she chose not to tell you about what happened, but don’t take it personal, okay? She’s a pretty closed-off person until she can learn to trust you. So unless you want to make this week less of a hassle for her, I’d cool it, otherwise you’re just gonna push her away. And you don:t want that. Trust me. I’ve been there and done that.”

Without another word, she was gone, leaving me to ponder through everything that had just happened.

* * *

 

L **ogan**

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Turning from my locker, I frowned at the question, coming face-to-face with an obvious upset looking Skylar. “Uh, tell you what?”

Skylar shook her head, turning on her heel and walking off down the hall. I quickly closed my locker, jogging after her until I was able to grab a hold of her arm and pull her back around to face me, still confused by the question and her sudden mood change since lunch. “Hey, what are you talking about? What did I not tell you?”

“You said that there was something that made you come here, but you never said what. I thought it was maybe just you being crypt, but you totally downplayed your girlfriend committing suicide and blaming yourself for it.”

I let out a sigh, letting my grip around Skylar’s wrist slacken enough her for pull away. “Who told you?”

The blonde shook her head, taking a step back away from me. “Does it matter? You should have told me, Logan. Especially with the anniversary right around the corner?”

“Told you what? That the girl I was in love with was so miserable because she was taunted for being with me that she swallowed a handful of narcotics? That I couldn’t do a damn thing about it? Because excuse me for being a little secretive after having my private life aired out to the entire school last year by a girl who tried to have me killed. It’s not exactly something I was about to scream at the top of my lungs. I was going to tell you, but I was scared that you would react exactly like this. Like I was nothing more than broken glass, with everyone tiptoeing around me. It gets a little lonely after a while. And I wanted you to be different.”

After witnessing a thousand and one emotions flashing across the girl’s face, I took a few steps back from her, picking up my discarded bag from the hall floor before brushing past Skylar. “I’ll see you in Glee.”

Turning the corner of the hallway, instead of making my way towards my next class, I found my feet carrying me towards the back entrance of the school, the tiled floor being replaced with dirt as I made my way out towards the track. I couldn’t stand to be inside the crowded school anymore. Each second was another lung full of air being forced, leaving me gasping as I finally made it to the center of the track and dropped my bag, my hands automatically landing on my knees and I composed myself.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, as much as it pained me, I had forgotten that the anniversary of Nicole’s death was right around the corner. I had been so engrossed with school and glee and softball that I hadn’t had time to actually think about it. Which is an unusual occurrence for me, since every time I look in the mirror and see that horrid scar that runs along my forehead and eyebrow, I find myself remembering everything about her. All the events leading up to her death, coming to McKinley…Santana…the attack, and the lonely months after.

How could I _ever_ forget about her?

It had been a while since I cried over Nicole, but as the tears began to sting the back of my eyes, and the track in front of me became blurry, it felt like I was back on that street corner again…

 

**_It’s cold._ **

**_There’s snow on the ground, you idiot, of course it’s cold. But the numbing pain was the last thing on my mind. Nicole was the only thing I could think of. Our last conversation was playing on repeat as I tried to remember every detail. The way her voice sounded, her smile…_ **

**_But as I turned the corner of the street, and my eyes were blinded by red and blue lights, I could suddenly remember it all. I cracked a joke, because she’d been having a bad day and had been a little more distant than usual. It was a crappy joke, one of those you find randomly written on a public bathroom stall. But it had managed to get a smile out of her, and I felt accomplished for it. And I hadn’t thought too much of the kiss that she gave me, how it lasted longer than normal, or how the hug she had given me was the same. The silence on the walk to her house, I thought it nothing…_ **

**_Oh god, how I was wrong. I should have noticed. I should have stopped it…_ **

**_Ignoring the shouting of all the police officers saying I couldn’t go inside, I pushed past the wall of uniforms, everything around me slowing down as I passed by Nicole’s parents, both of whom were sobbing while a uniform was standing over them, his face full of pity. I passed by a side table holding numerous pictures of Nicole and I over the years, my eyes scanning each and every moment captured before I was up the stairs, following the sounds of hushed voices and EMT’s bringing equipment down, and at the top of the stairs, those stupid numbers they use for crime scenes glaring at me, mocking me._ **

**_You’re too late…_ **

**_But my feet kept pushing me on, pass the number strategically placed by a broken picture frame of Nicole and her family, and one of me. Pass the number by the open bathroom, where numerous medication bottles littered the tiled floor._ **

**_They finally stopped when I reached the doorway of Nicole’s bedroom, the last two numbers burning forever into my mind, along with the image of the girl I loved, everything but her face hidden by those fucking black bags, surrounded by a pile of white pills._ **

**_I like to think of myself as a strong person. Growing up with gay parents, coming out as gay myself. It’s hard. No one can deny that, so it’s taken a lot to get me to the point where life brings me to my knees. But this…this was enough to bring me to my knees, enough to knock the breath out of me…because this…this is all because of me. I wasn’t strong enough to carry her through this. And I wasn’t strong enough to survive this._ **

“Logan!”

Blinking through the newest round of tears, I managed to catch a glimpse of my sister’s face before the blackness overtook me. But, hey, at least here there wasn’t any pain.

* * *

 

  **Rachel**

“ _Rachel? What’s wrong?_ ”

Letting out a sigh of relief, I squeezed the phone in my hand, thankful to finally hear the other girl’s voice. “Santana, thank god. I need you to come to Lima General immediately.”

“ _What? Why? Is someone hurt? Are you okay? Is Quinn?_ ”

“No, we’re fine. It’s Logan.”

After a moment of silence, the dial tone was ringing through on the other end, causing me to frown as I pulled the phone away from my ear to stare at the screen. “I do believe she just hung up on me.”

“Hey, at least she knows. I’m sure she’ll be here soon.”

Smiling softly, I interlocked my fingers with Quinn’s, finding peace in the girl’s presence. It was warm and loving, and some of the fear and panic occupying most of my body dissipated. Thank god for good girlfriends. “Thank you for being here with me. I know you had something planned with your mother tonight, if you need to go, it’s alright, I won’t-.”

The blonde smiled, leaning forward to silence me with a quick kiss, my brain registering and noting that if this was the way to stop my ramblings, then I would gladly ramble more often. Even as simple and quick as it was, like Quinn herself, it always managed to leave me breathless and unable to think.

“Logan is my best friend, and your sister. You both mean the world to me, and needed me here. My mom understands, so don’t think for one second that I would rather be anywhere else but here. Okay?”

I nodded, leaning my forehead to rest against hers, basking in the calmness and sense of home that came with the blonde before a voice pulled us apart, both of us turning to see an out of breath Latina jogging around the corner.

“What…happened?”

Letting go of Quinn, I stood up and made my way over to the girl, settling my hands on the taller girl’s shoulders. “She had a panic attack at school. She was on her way to class and Tina noticed her walking out towards the track and told me about it. She was worried. Apparently Skylar and her were arguing about something in the hallway before she just left. None of us know what it was about, but I found her sobbing on the edge of the track and she passed out before I could get to her. Quinn and I rushed her here, and she woke up a few minutes ago, and they said she was fine, it was just a panic attack, and she’d be okay.”

The cheerleader nodded, taking a deep breath before looking around. “Did you call her mother’s? Are they here?”

“They’re with her. They went back after the doctor came out and told us she was awake. I just figured you would want to be here.”

The girl nodded again, giving me a quick hug. “You’re sure she’s okay?”

Pulling away from the girl, I nodded, squeezing her shoulders before leading her over towards Quinn, settling her into the empty seat next to me. “They said she just needed to rest, but other than that, there’s nothing wrong with her. By the way, how did you get here so fast? I literally just got off the phone with you a few minutes ago.”

The girl shrugged, glancing around the waiting room. “I ran here.”

“You ran? But it’s over a mile from the school?”

The Latina simply shrugged again, leaning back into the uncomfortable waiting room seat. “Doesn’t matter. I wanted to get here as fast as I could, so I ran.”

“Noted.”

Santana was quiet for a second before she let out a sigh and pulled out her cellphone, her face completely neutral as she tapped the screen a few times before tossing it into the seat next to her own. “Thank you for calling me.”

I nodded in acknowledgement, settling back into my seat between the two girls, silence falling over all three of us as we all silently agreed to wait on more news about Logan.

Thankfully, the silence only lasted a few more minutes, and one of my aunt’s suddenly appeared back in the waiting room, causing all three of us to stand up. I was the first to receive a hug, followed by the other two girls before my aunt sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Okay, so physically, she’s fine. It was just a panic attack like they told us, but she’s not talking. At all. Do any of you know what happened at school?”

Both Quinn and I shook our heads, our attention turning towards Santana, who was standing a few steps behind us, glaring at her phone. “Santana?”

“That fucking bitch! This is all her fault! I swear to god, I’m going to kick her ass from here to California the next time I see her!”

I shared a confused look with the other women before walking towards the girl, glancing down at the phone screen as she held it out to me. My eyes quickly scanned over the brief text Santana had sent Skylar, and the latter’s reply, feeling my stomach drop once I realized what all of this was about.

“Why would Skylar confront Logan about Nicole? Especially right now?”

The Latina’s eyes were dark, and it was a look I had seen many times, had even been on the receiving end once or twice, and I automatically looped an arm through hers, keeping her in place. “Santana, you can’t kill the girl. As much as I want to let you go so you can, it won’t solve anything right now. Now tell me, why did you ask Skylar if she mentioned the anniversary of Nicole’s death to Logan?”

I watched as Santana’s jaw clenched and unclenched a few times, her eyes boring into the phone screen. “I met Skylar at lunch, and asked her to call a truce from our stupid feud over Logan until after sectionals and the anniversary of Nicole’s death passed. Apparently she didn’t know all of the details surrounding it, and I told her not to bring it up to Logan. I told her if she cared at all about her, she wouldn’t do this, but she fucking did and now I’m going to rip her throat out and-.”

“Whoa, hang on there, killer. It’s okay. Skylar had no right to bring this up, even if she was upset over learning about Nicole and what happened, it was wrong. But you cannot go out and beat her up over this. The best thing you can do is just be here for Logan. If this panic attack set her back to how she was after Nicole’s suicide, then she’s going to need all of you. And you can’t be here if you’re in jail for assault. Got it?”

I was surprised by my aunt’s words, half expecting to hear them from myself or from Quinn to calm the raging girl next to me. But the words seemed to work, and after a few mumbles she nodded, agreeing not to go after the girl.

“Okay, so I know you all are probably dying to see her, so who wants to go first? She’s allowed visitors, but I think it would be best if we just do it one at a time, okay?”

“I think Santana should go first. After all, if anyone’s going to get Logan to talk, it would be her. San? Are you okay to go back?”

The Latina nodded, brushing past me and Quinn and following my aunt past the nurse’s station, disappearing around the corner with one last look over her shoulder at us.

* * *

 

  **Logan**

 It had been a few minutes since my mother had said anything. Once she figured out I wasn’t going to respond, she had simply placed a kiss to my forehead before moving outside of the small room I had been placed in. I counted with the clock placed above the door, waiting for any sign of movement, any kind of sound. _Anything_ to distract my brain from reliving the past few hours.

Two minutes, forty-three seconds. Forty-five. Forty-six. Forty-seven.

“You look like shit.”

My eyes snapped down from the clock to see Santana standing in the doorway of my room. And for the first time since I woke up, I felt something. Warmth. And before I could stop myself, I was swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, my bare feet landing on the cold tile  as I stood and stumbled slightly, only to be caught before I could hit the floor. So maybe getting out of bed wasn’t the best idea at the moment.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. Don’t push yourself too much, okay?”

I allowed myself to lean into the warm body, my arms coming up to wrap around her waist as I buried my face into her shoulder, sucking up any and all comfort she brought. She returned the hug, her own arms wrapping around my back and pulling me impossibly closer to her. Not that I minded. At all.

It wasn’t until I felt Santana’s arms tighten around me that I realized I was crying. The sobs were the first sounds to have come out of my mouth since waking up. And after a few minutes, my tears were reduced to a few slipping out, and I pulled back, keeping one hand on Santana’s waist as I wiped at my face quickly.

“I’m sorry.”

My voice sounded raspy, a lot like it had after the wires had been removed from my jaw last year. It was foreign and sounded so unlike me, and I let my eyes fall to the floor, my hand bunching  

A hand ran across the back of my head, before tucking some hair behind my ear. “Logan, look at me.”

Glancing up, my eyes automatically landed on a familiar pair of brown ones, that sense of familiarity calming me slightly as she smiled softly. “Don’t apologize for this. I know what happened, and you don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m just happy you’re okay.”

I returned the smile, reaching out to grab ahold of one of her hands. “I didn’t exactly plan on passing out at school. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Worrying me? Hell, Logan, when I got that call from Rachel I felt exactly like I did last year. That kind of panic and fear is not something I want to experience again, so please, stop taking a few years off my life, okay?”

Chuckling, I leaned into the girl, letting my eyes close. “Deal.”

Silence fell over the both of us, the only sounds coming from our breathing and the occasional beeping from outside my room. Eventually, after some time had passed, I pulled away from the girl, frowning as I recalled what she said earlier. “What do you mean you know what happened? Is Skylar here?”

Santana shook her head, taking a seat on the bed next to me. “No. She’s not here, but I did talk to her. It’s apparently become a regular thing today.”

“What did she tell you?”

The girl next to me sighed, reaching out to grab a hold of one of my hands. “Listen, I asked softball girl to meet me at lunch because I wanted to talk to her about something. I wanted to ask her if we could stop fighting to get passed sectionals and…pass what exactly made you have a panic attack at school.”

“Oh. So it was you that told her.”

The hand holding onto mine squeezed slightly, the owner of said hand turning to face me fully. “I’m sorry. I thought she knew. I thought you would have told her, but she didn’t know and I didn’t want her to come and start asking you questions so I told her and I specifically told her not to bring it up, but she did anyway and I’m sorry, Logan. I didn’t-.”

“Santana, it’s okay. I’m not upset that you told her. I promise.”

I could visibly see the Latina relax after my words, her entire posture actually loosening before she dramatically plopped back onto the bed, my hand still securely entwined with hers. The action caused me to chuckle again as I stared down at the girl. This was nice. Having her here like this. And I could have this. It was right here. _She_ was right here, but something was holding me back. Something I’d never been able to pin point until today.

“You okay?”

Nodding, I smiled down at the girl, feeling the ache in my heart and body fade slightly. “Yeah. Uh, so, can you do me a favor and go grab my mother’s? I need to ask them when I’m getting out of here.”

Santana nodded, standing up from the bed and releasing my hand. “Sure. Is everything okay? You’re not going to pass out again, are you?”

The slight panic in her voice caused me to smile before reaching out and grabbing a hold of the girl, pulling her back to me for a quick hug. “No, I’m not going to pass out again. Stop worrying so much.”

After promising Santana that I would be okay, she started out of the room, only to stop when I called after her. “Hey, stick around? Please?”

The girl smiled, winking at me before opening the door. “Always.”


	11. Spending Friday Nights Under the Stars

**Ch:11**

**Logan**

“Are you sure you’re up to performing? I’m sure Mr. Shue wouldn’t mind you sitting out on tonight’s performance after what happened yesterday.”

I let out a sigh as I held the door to the auditorium open for my parents, turning my back to the sounds of mic checks and chatter echoing off the walls. “I’m not going to sit out on tonight’s performance. This is my last year in the group. Not to mention without me, the only girls in the group are Quinn, Tina and Skylar.”

“Rachel’s not performing?”

Rolling my eyes, I pointed over at a row of seats blocked off by a rope, waving at Hiram and LeRoy and the other parents already seated. “No, she’s not. Apparently she stuffed a bunch of ballets with Kurt’s name on them during the voting for class president last week. She owned up to it to keep Kurt from taking the blame for it and she was banned from competing tonight.”

“We’re just worried about you, honey.”

When we finally reached the choir room, where I smiled and briefly exchanged a few words with some of the other New Directions members before turning back to face my parents. “I know that I scared you guys yesterday, but I cannot let myself become that person again. I don’t want to go back to that place where I shut everyone out. Please. I need this.”

My mothers shared a brief look, you know, one of those “we’ve been together for so long that I know what that little quirk of an eyebrow means,” before wrapping their arms around me. “Okay. We’re gonna go be good parents and sit with Hiram and LeRoy and take loads of pictures to show our grandchildren. Speaking of, are you and Santana going to be hyphenating or…?”

Feeling my eyes widen, I gently shoved my mothers in the opposite direction. “Oh my god, you two are incorrigible! Go find your seats.”

“Hey, we like Santana. You have our blessing.”

After a glare, the two disappeared into the crowd of people parents, the blush from their comments about me and Santana deepening when Maribel and Tony, who both waved enthusiastically in my direction. I gave a small smile in return, weaving my way through the crowds to make it backstage, my eyes searching the small area for my teammates.

“Nice dress.”

The sudden voice that was _very_ close to my ear startled me, and I automatically jumped, turning with a glare as the owner of the voice laughed. “Sorry. I thought you knew I was standing there.”

I playfully hit the girl’s shoulder, which only caused her to laugh harder and I let out a huff, trying to calm my heart from frantically beating around my chest. “How the hell was I supposed to know you where there? I didn’t even see you as I walked up. Were you hiding out and waiting for me or something?”

Santana blushed lightly, tearing her eyes away from mine before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me in the direction of the other glee clubbers. Thankfully, despite the impending competition, the Trouble Tones and the New Directions were all huddled together. “Maybe, maybe not, Mackenzie. You’ll never know.”

“Or I could just force you to tell me.”

She slowed her steps, and by extension my own as we neared the group, letting out a snort. “Never knew the word force was in your vocabulary. But please, do enlighten me on how you _think_ you would force any kind of information out of me?”

Shrugging a shoulder, I stepped out of her arm, sliding my hand down until her fingers met mine, entwining both of them together before tugging her towards me, a smile forming on my face as her eyes widened. Leaning in slightly, I could hear her breath hitch as my face inched closer to hers, chuckling when I placed a quick kiss to her cheek and broke away from her, marching over towards a smiling Quinn who had, no doubt, been watching the entire exchange.

From behind me I heard a small wine before Santana was suddenly by my side again, a frown plastered on her incredibly beautiful features. “You’re a fucking tease, you know that?”

“Only for you, Lopez.”

“Whatever. I gotta go round up my girls. I’ll catch you ladies after the show. We still on for the party tonight, Q?”

The blonde in question nodded, and I mumbled a quiet goodbye, my eyes following Santana’s form until I could no longer see her. From beside me, Quinn cleared her throat and I turned my attention towards her, a goofy smile on my face. “What?

Rolling her eyes, Quinn wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “You’ve got it bad, my friend. You’ve got it bad.”

“Excuse me?”

The blonde smiled, squeezing my shoulder as the rest of the glee club all formed around us. Mr. Shue and Shelby were off talking quietly to the side, and after they dispersed, I smiled politely at the older brunette, making a mental note to ask Rachel later if she’d had the chance to speak with her yet.

“Your not so obvious feelings for Santana. It’s refreshing, though. To see both of you so in tune with each other. It’s about damn time, too.”

Raising an eyebrow, I crossed my arms over my chest, pointedly looking at my best friend. “Oh, and you and my sister were so much better?”

Quinn’s smile quickly dropped from her face as she pulled her phone out of her dress pocket. “That’s completely different.”

“How _is_ my sister holding up?”

The blonde blushed, tapping the screen of her phone a few times before tucking it away again. “She’s acting to be expected. Dramatically declaring it the end of the world as we know it. What about you? Are you doing okay?”

Rolling my eyes, I shrugged a shoulder, my eyes scanning the group of people seeing as her question had caught the attention a few of the other glee club members. “I am fine. Despite what happened yesterday, I feel fine. I’m assuming whatever plans San was referring to earlier is that sleepover you’ve been planning for a week?”

“Uh, hell yeah? We’re celebrating our win, party style! Without Puck and his tendencies to ask to watch while your sister and I kiss.”

Grimacing, I faked gag, causing Tina to chuckle while the blonde next to me simply rolled her eyes. “At least we know dramatics run in the family for you guys. Anyway, party plans include massive amounts of pizza and junk food, and, drum roll please…Disney movie marathon with every member attending being forced to sing their favorite song.”

Raising an eyebrow in question at the singing portion, Quinn shrugged, leaning back in her own chair. “I promised Rachel that we could do a sing-a-long since she couldn’t perform tonight, okay?”

“Ha. Whipped much?”

The blonde snorted, turning her head towards me. “How many times have you tried to say no to that pout…and lost?”

Frowning, I slid out of my seat, giving myself a once over in the compact mirror Tina was handing around for last minute makeup checks. “Point taken. And besides, what if we don’t win tonight? Are we just celebrating for the heck of it?”

“Yes. We’re celebrating a win either way. Even if it’s for the Trouble Tones.”

From out of the corner of my eye, I silently counted everyone in attendance in our group, frowning as I came up one member short. “Whatever. Hey, have you seen Skylar? She’s not here, and I didn’t see her coming up?”

“Yeah, because you were too busy making goo-goo eyes at Santana. But, yes, I have seen her. She’s around here somewhere. Have you managed to talk to her yet?”

I let out a sigh, shaking my head, my own phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled out the device, glancing up at Quinn before glancing back down at the message on the phone screen. “No, uh, I haven’t. I need to run to the bathroom before we start. Save me a seat if you guys head out before I get back, okay?”

Quinn nodded, watching me a confused look as I slid out the back entrance of the auditorium and into the girl’s bathroom, my eyes glancing around until I noticed Skylar leaning against one of the sinks. “Hey. You got my message.”

“Yeah. I was surprised to see it, though. I figured you’d be ignoring me for the rest of the school year or something.”

The blonde grimaced, hanging her head. “Listen. I totally reacted horribly yesterday. It’s not a good enough excuse to throw your past in your face like I did, but something inside of me snapped when Santana told me about what happened back in Chicago. I just…I felt like no matter what I did or will do, she’s always going to be one step ahead of me when it comes to you," the heavy pause that settled between was unnerving, both of us aware of where this conversation would be heading. "She will be, won’t she? Always one step ahead?”

Frowning, I watched as the girl looked up at me, pain and something that looked a lot like longing swirling in her eyes. “Santana and I are complicated, Sky…you know that.”

“I know. I know that no matter what I do or say, it’s not going to change how you feel about her. Will it?”

My mouth opened and closed a few times, my brain trying to come up with the right words to respond. But I came up with nothing, and I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind that I couldn’t lie to her anymore. Or to myself.

“No. Nothing is going to change how I feel about Santana.”

Skylar nodded, pushing herself off the sink and making her way towards me. “She’d better make you really happy.”

Despite the depressing matter of the conversation, I smiled slightly as my mind instantly thought of the brunette. “She does. I promise.”

“Well, then I guess all I can say is that you shouldn’t wait to make your move. If you want the girl, go and get the girl.”

“But we-.”

Skylar shook her head, taking those last few steps until she was directly in front of me, her hands seeking mine out and squeezing them slightly when she found them. “No. Don’t try and explain anything to me, okay? I’ve known all along that you two belong together. I was just selfish in thinking that I could change it. But who the hell am I to stand in the way of love?”

Smiling sadly, I pulled my hands away from hers only to wrap them around her shoulders tightly. “You’re gonna make a girl really happy one day, Sky.”

The blonde laughed into my shoulder, returning the hug just as tightly. “Thanks.”

Pulling away from the embrace, I kept my hands on the girl’s shoulders. “We’re still friends right? Even if we’re not…you know?”

Skylar scoffed, taking a step backwards before wiping at the bottom of her eyes in the mirror. “Like you can get rid of me that easily, Logan.”

Chuckling, I held my arm out for the girl, pulling her out of the bathroom and in the direction of the auditorium. “Good. Because you make life interesting. I couldn’t to get rid of you even if I wanted to. And I don’t. Oh, hey, you know Quinn is holding that sleepover party thing after the competition tonight, right?

“Yeah, she invited me. What about it?”

“Are you coming?”

The blonde shrugged as we stopped outside the auditorium doors, glancing over at me. “I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to indulge in the chaos that I know will ensue all night.”

“All night? Try all weekend. Unfortunately. We’re apparently making this celebration thing last until Monday.”

The sound of music starting pulled us out of the conversation and I opened the door, glancing up at the stage to see the Unitards just starting their performance. Turning back to the blonde, I let out a sigh, smiling slightly. “Come on. We have competition to make fun of and then we’re gonna win this thing. You don’t have to say yes to coming to the party right now. I get it. It’ll be awkward and stuff, but at least promise you’ll think about it? Please?”

Skylar stared at me for a few seconds before nodding, pulling me into the auditorium and towards the two remaining seats next where the other New Direction members were watching the group on stage. I took my seat next to Quinn, Skylar in the empty seat behind me next to Mr. Shue. I smile slightly as the blonde next to me raised an eyebrow, her silent question asking if everything was okay.

The Unitards performance was good. Their lead singer was exactly as they all said, excellent. But we definitely had this in the bag. The Trouble Tones had yet to do their set, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Sure, I thought we had a pretty good chance at winning, but there was pretty talented girls on that team. They had just as much of a chance as we did at winning.

Before I could blink again, the Unitards were making their way off stage, and I followed along with the clapping to be polite, but soon enough Mr. Shue was directing us back out of the auditorium to get ready for our performance after the Trouble Tones.

The all-girl group was busying themselves at the bathroom outside the back entrance doors, and I easily let myself rest against the cool wall, my eyes watching for one particular girl to emerge from the bathroom. Eventually a stage hand came out to announce that the Trouble Tones had two minutes before their slot, and finally Santana walked out of the bathroom. I kicked off the wall, yelling out the girl’s name to grab her attention before she could disappear into the crowd of her teammates.

“Hey. What’s up?”

Without breaking my straight face, I slid up to the girl, grabbing her by the straps of the dress she was wearing and pulling her to me, our lips crashing together. For a second, I felt her tense, but just as quickly she melted into the kiss, her lips moving against mine.

Hearing the wolf whistle from behind me, I pulled back, both of our cheeks flushed as I gently wiped the smeared lip gloss off the other girl’s lips before letting my hand cup the girl’s cheek. “You remember what you told me a few weeks ago at that party?”

The Latina nodded, her cheeks still slightly flushed. Either from the kiss or the round of applause we were now receiving from our friends. “When I told you I loved you?”

Smiling, I winked at the girl as the stage hand was now calling them up for their performance. “I love you, too.”

With her own smile, Santana and I pulled apart, both of us joining our different groups. When the Trouble Tones were out of sight, and what I recognized as _I Will Survive_ started to play out of the auditorium speakers, my eyes finally landed on the other members of my group, each of them wearing a smile as they looked knowingly at me.

“What the hell are all of you smiling at?”

Quinn let out a sigh, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “It’s about damn time! I thought Rachel and I were going to have to run an interference before one of you made a move on the other. And let me say, that was one hell of a kiss, Mackenzie.”

Rolling my eyes, I ignored the other comments about the kiss, instead opting to smile to myself. My lips were still tingling from the sensation of Santana’s lips against my own. One victory down tonight, one more to go.

* * *

 

 **Logan**  

“I am so stoked! Logan, you’ll have to show us where all the good tourist sites are in Chicago at Nationals!”

Chuckling lightly, I broke off from the group of girls giggling in the middle of my living room floor, taking a sip from my water bottle. “Sure. I’ll be the unofficial tour guide.”

Despite our win at Sectionals, I was feeling kinda bummed about it. The Trouble Tones gave us a run for their money tonight, and to me, it wasn’t fair that their competition season was over. Or at least, was over if they didn’t take up on the offer the rejoin the New Directions, with a guarantee that the Treble’s would be able to perform an entire song at every competition.

Sliding the patio doors open, I shivered slightly as the cold air whipped around me, and I was suddenly thankful that I had thought to grab my hoodie when changing earlier. A round of laughter rang out from behind me, and I smiled to myself, happy that they were all happy.

I slumped down into the patio chair, letting out a breath and allowing my head to lean back against the chair, opting to stare up into the night sky, something that I had done on my first night here in Lima. And something that I still tried to do as often as I could.

“So I guess congrats are in order.”

Turning my head slightly, my eyes focused on Santana, who I assumed had just shown up seeing as she was the only one who wasn’t in attendance when I left the others moments ago. “Hey. I tried to find you after the show, but Mercedes said you already left.”

The brunette shrugged, closing the patio door behind her before walking in my direction. I silently scooted over, holding my hand out and smiling slightly as she automatically took it, taking the spot next to me. The chair was small, and I was forced to lay on my halfway on my side to even fit on the chair with her, but I didn’t care.

“I’m sorry you guys lost.”

Santana shrugged again, and I wrapped my arms around her right one, leaning my chin on her shoulder to watch her face as she stared up at the sky like I had been doing. “You guys were better than us. You all deserved to win.”

Squeezing her arm slightly, I scooted in what limited space I had, my own attention turning towards the stars above us. I felt the girl next to me shift slightly, the arm that I had wrapped myself around now resting across my hip. The sheer shift in our relationship wasn’t unnoticed. ‘Friends’ didn’t exactly cuddle like this, or kiss and decree their love for each other either, but that was a conversation that could be held later.

“I’d never seen the stars until I moved here.”

“Really?”

Nodding, I cuddled down further into the warm body next to me, my eyes dancing over every star and constellation I could find. “You couldn’t see them in Chicago. Something about the city lights or whatever.”

“My Papi used to take me outside at night and point out the stars to me. I remember he once told me that when you love somebody enough, and look up at the stars, wherever that person is, they’ll be looking at the same time. Something about fate or whatever. I don’t really remember. It’s been a while.”

Silence filled the space between us, and it wasn’t an awkward once, but one that was clam and easy to sit in. The kind of silence I felt whenever I was with my family, or my friends. One where nothing needed to be said.

“Quinn asked me about rejoining the New Directions.”

“Are you going to?”

Santana shrugged, her fingers beginning to trace absent minded patterns on my hip. “I think it depends.”

I opted to focus on the conversation, instead of the tingling that was spreading throughout my body as her fingers danced across my jean covered leg. “Depends on what?”

“Whatever this is between me and you. And what about softball girl? Is she gonna like that we’re doing this? Because I don’t have intentions to stop this anytime soon.”

I slowly shook my head, nuzzling the shoulder that it was resting on. “Skylar and I are just friends. And this is us. It’s always been us.”

The fingers on my hip stalled slightly, only to grab my hand and entwine our fingers together and rest our hands against my leg. “You ever feel like things happen for a reason?”

“Honestly? I do. I like to believe that everything’s meant to happen, no matter what it is or what comes of it. It’s all written in the stars.”

Santana nodded, seeming to contemplate my words as we continued to stare up at the night sky, another round of comfortable silence washing over us. Thinking about my words, I let my eyes close, taking comfort in the girl’s presence. “Will you stay with me this weekend? Sunday is…I don’t wanna be alone again…”

The hand tangled up with mine squeezed slightly, and I could feel the other girl place a light kiss to the side of my head before I felt her nod. “You wanna talk about it?”

Chewing on my bottom lip, I carefully thought about my next words. “I don’t…I’ve never talked to anyone about what happened. Except the police. Rachel is probably the only one who knows details, and even then she doesn’t know all of it.”

“You don’t have to-.”

“I want to. I just…not now, okay?”

“I’m not gonna force you to talk about it. But I’ll be here, whenever you’re ready to. But can I at least ask you something?”

Nodding into her shoulder, I finally opened my eyes, coming face to face with a familiar pair of soft brown ones that instantly made my heart flutter around in my chest. For the first time, save for a few moments where she had managed to let her guard down, her eyes no longer held that sense of anger and self-hatred. Instead they were full of…well…love. And I vowed to myself that I would do anything in my power to make sure they stayed that way.

“What happened with Nicole, it’s not…this is real, right? I’m not gonna wake up tomorrow and find out all of this was a dream? Or that you’re just doing this to get over her?”

At some point, the question would have angered me. Because I used to think that I would never, ever be happy after Nicole’s death. I didn’t expect to, and I didn’t try to be. But everything changed after I met Santana.

“It’s not a dream. I promise. And no, I’m not using you to get over her. I tried that. With a few girls back in Chicago and all it did was make me even colder. Don’t tell my sister that, please, she’ll flip. But I...I love you, Santana. I have been in love with you since I met you last year. Love isn’t a feeling I want to take for granted anymore. I want this, with you. All of it. I’m done living in the past. I’m done blaming myself for things that I have no control over.”

The smile that appeared on the other girl’s face was contagious, and before I could begin to contemplate that feeling of relief that came with my words, her lips were on mine, and every single thought was pushed to the back of my mind. All I could think and feel was Santana.

“Seriously? You two snuck out here to make out?”

Jumping away from each other, my eyes widened as Santana slipped off the patio chair, landing on the ground with a thud and string of curse words in two different languages. I leaned over the edge as my sister and Quinn began to laugh hysterically, my hand reaching out to the spot on her head where the brunette was rubbing. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just hit my head on the concrete.”

Laughing lightly, I placed a quick kiss to the spot before standing up and holding my hands out to the girl, pulling her to her feet as she glared towards the duo still laughing in the doorway of the house. “Keep laughing, assholes. Karma is a bitch and she keeps razor blades in her hair for instances just like this.”

Rolling my eyes, I wrapped my arms around the girl’s waist, pulling her into the house behind my best friend and sister in the direction of the laughter and what sounded like the beginnings of a Disney movie.

We huddled down into a corner of the couch, Quinn and Rachel cuddled up on the other side. And I couldn’t help but think, as everyone was singing along with the opening song of _The Lion King_ , pressed into Santana’s side, how the hell did I get so damn lucky?


	12. Dancing in the Rain

Ch:12

**Logan**

“What exactly did her grandmother say to her?”

Leaning against the wall next to the stairs, I watched as my mothers were handed a cup of something with steam by Maribel before she took a seat in the chair across from them. From somewhere in the kitchen, I could hear Tony’s angry voice while on the phone, with who I was assumed was his mother. The conversation itself was lost on my part, mostly because I couldn’t understand the rushed Spanish sounding every other second.

“I’m not sure. Tony is on the phone with her, trying to figure out what was said between the two of them, but so far she hasn’t budged. I’ve tried to get her to open the door, but since she got home a few hours ago, there hasn’t been a peep. Calling you three was a last resort before Tony took the door off the hinges, literally.”

“Well, I’m assuming that whatever was said was not good. Do you know what they were talking about? At all?”

“She was going to tell her. Before the commercial was supposed to air.”

All three pairs of eyes turned towards me, and I let out a sigh, glancing back up the stairs. “It didn’t go well, is my guess. Obviously. Uh, do you mind if I try to talk to her?”

The older Latina nodded before going back to discuss things with my mothers. No doubt the woman was looking for some kind of advice and insight on the gay community now that Santana had come out to them. Which ended well, in my opinion. According to San, they were more than proud of her for admitting to them who she really was. Also, they were more than excited that Santana and I were now together, something that just fueled the ever present fire that comes with anything associated with Santana.

Trudging outside, I made my way around the side of the house, glancing upwards as I did until Santana’s bedroom window came into view. The light on told me that the girl was, indeed inside, locked up and probably letting her grandmother’s words swish around in her head while she beats herself up on the inside.

Eyeing the tree located directly under the girl’s window, I reached up to grab a branch, wincing slightly at the soreness in my shoulder from a few hours of boxing, but pulling myself up nonetheless. The climb was short, seeing as I only had to make it up four more branches before I was perched outside the window, so I carefully stepped out onto the slightly slanted roof, reaching out to grab a hold of the window frame before bracing my feet against the shingles, peering inside the dimly lit room.

Sure enough, Santana was laying with her back to the window, wrapped un in a seemingly never ending layer of blankets. I gave one quick rasp to the glass with my knuckle, watching with a sad smile as my girl rolled over in bed, staring at me for a few seconds before sliding out of bed and towards the window. I let out a breath of relief when the brunette slid it upwards, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion. “What the hell are you doing?”

Shrugging, I gripped the inside of the frame before pulling myself in through the opening, landing on the floor with a light thud. “Climbing in through your window.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been on the outside of a locked door before, and I have no desire to be there again. Not with you.”

Santana nodded, walking back over to the bed and plopping down with a sigh, her arms crossing over herself in a defensive manner. Something I realized she did whenever she was hurting, or was afraid of being more hurt than she already was.

I quickly followed, setting up against her headboard before pulling her towards me, my arms wrapping around her tightly, hoping that the act would bring some kind of comfort for the cheerleader. And almost instantly, the girl melted into my embrace, her shoulders shaking lightly as she ducked her head into my chest. I could feel her tears seeping into the material of my shirt, but I didn’t comment, only tightening one arm around her waist while the other began rubbing small circles on the girl’s back.

Eventually, after she calmed down, and I was simply holding the girl in my arms, absentmindedly playing with a strand of her hair, I heard her let out a breath. “Did my mom call you and ask you to come over here?”

Her voice was raspy, and definitely sounded like she had been crying recently. I placed a light kiss to the top of her head before resting my cheek against it. “Yeah. Apparently our parents were supposed to meet tonight anyway for something, but she called earlier and said you had locked yourself up in your room after coming back from your grandmothers. So…here I am.”

“Oh. Your mothers are here?”

Nodding, I gave up on the small lock of hair I had been playing with, letting it fall back with the rest as I rewrapped my arm around her. “They’re downstairs talking with your parents. I think I confused your mom when I walked outside after asking if I could try and talk to you.”

That earned a light laugh from the girl curled into me, causing a smile of my own to appear on my own face. “Well, she was going to have to find out about your weirdness sooner or later. At least this time is was only you having to scale the side of my house.”

“Hey, I thought my weirdness was a good quality.”

“It’s not exactly like I have anything to compare it with, so for now, yeah, it is.”

Silence engulfed the both of us for a few seconds, the only sounds coming from our steady breathing, until Santana’s phone ringing caused both of us to jump. I quickly reached for the device on the nightstand next to me, handing it out to the Latina and watching as she tapped the screen for a second or two before silencing it and tossing it to the opposite side of the bed. “Your sister is having a meltdown worrying over me. That was Quinn. Her and Rachel are on their way over to your house as we speak. Apparently they’re insisting that tonight be made into another one of their freaking sleepovers.”

I laughed lightly, pulling my own phone out of my pocket as it beeped, barely glancing at the message from my sister saying they would wait until we were over before starting the ‘emergency sleepover,’ complete with horror movies and copious amounts of ice cream and junk food. “What is with those two and sleepovers? We’ve had one like every weekend since the school year started. And it’s only November.”

“Berry _is_ your sister…”

“Okay, in all seriousness, we need to address the elephant in the room, babe.”

Almost immediately as the words left my mouth, I felt Santana tense in my arms before starting to pull away, which only caused me to entwine my fingers at her lower back, successfully forcing her from going anywhere. “You can’t run from this, San. Talk to me, please. Let me help you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then at least listen, okay? Can you do that? Please?”

Once I was sure she was done trying to pull away from me, physically and emotionally, I relaxed my arms, taking a deep breath. “I’m guessing your grandmother didn’t take the news of you being gay well, seeing as you went all Disney princess on me and locked yourself up here, forcing me to climb a tree to even be able to talk to you.”

The brunette turned her head slightly, her voice muffled against my shirt. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, San. I will never be upset with the things you do while you’re hurting. And you’re hurting because of what your grandmother said. I’m not going to force you to tell me what it was, I’ve had enough experience with terrible reactions to know that no matter what she said, it was hurtful and probably said out of confusion or clouded judgement. But I’m here, okay? You went through so many years of your life hating yourself and hiding yourself and distancing yourself from everyone because of who you are, but that all stops here, okay? I know you’re used to it, but I want to help. It’s what I’m here for. This thing we have going? It’s a two-way street, and I…I just want you know that no matter what, I love you, and I’m always going to be here for you. If you want to cry, come find me and I’ll hold you while you cry. If you want to sit in silence, we’ll do that. I’ll take you to a freaking mountain somewhere and let you scream into the distance until you lose your voice, if that’s what you needed. You’re not alone anymore. I’ll always be on your side and I’ll always stand by you. Always.”

The room was silent again after a few moments, and right as I was starting to worry that I had said the wrong thing, the girl in my arms shifted slightly, her head tilting back to look up at me. “Why the hell are you so perfect? Seriously, I don’t deserve this. Or you. I’m a horrible person. I’m a bitch ninety percent of the time, and I tortured your sister for years. I was rude to you when we first met and-.”

“Whoa, Santana, hold up! You are _not_ a horrible person.”

“But I-.”

“No, listen to me. Whatever you did in the past, it stays there. You can’t change it. You learn from it. You took your anger out on other people and put that bitchy exterior up to keep yourself form getting hurt. It’s okay. I won’t hold that against you. I did the same when I first moved here. I was cold, and I kept everyone at arm’s length because I was afraid of losing those I cared about. But you changed that for me,” The Latina sat up, her brown eyes brimming with unshed tears, but I kept going, reaching out to cup one of her cheeks. “You wormed your way into my heart my, and you were the reason why I began to feel some kind of emotion. I owe everything to you, Santana. _Everything_. You’re a good person, _please_ believe that.”

Eventually, whatever tears the girl had in stock finally spilled over, my thumb automatically brushing across the soft skin of her cheek, wiping them away as they fell in steady rivers. “So it wasn’t good, was it?”

The brunette shook her head, reaching up to grab a hold of the hand I had pressed against her cheek, squeezing it slightly as she lowered our joined hands to rest in her lap. “No, uh. It wasn’t. She basically told me I should have just kept it to myself. That it was a sin and that I was never…I’m not allowed back in her house ever again.”

“Oh. Yeah. Definitely not good, then.”

A few beats of silence passed between us before I let out a sigh, dropping Santana’s hand before standing up off her bed. “Alright. Let’s go dance in the rain.”

The cheerleader frowned, taking my hand instantly as I offered it, pulling her off the bed to stand in front of me. “Logan, it’s not raining.”

Smiling, I started off towards her bedroom door, shrugging one shoulder. “No, it’s not, but have you ever heard that ridiculous quote about how you eventually learn to survive in the storm?”

The other girl nodded, taking a few steps towards me as I undid the lock on her door and ushered one arm out in a very dork-like fashion, silently watching as the Latina rolled her eyes before walking ahead of me and down the stairs. “You’re so weird, and I still don’t understand the rain thing.”

Before we could reach the bottom step, I reached out, managing to grab her around the waist while the other hand braced itself against the banister, pushing my front into her back. Nuzzling into the back of her neck, I smiled slightly at the sudden intake of breath from the cheerleader. “I’ve figured out it’s much easier to simply dance in the rain instead.”

“You are seriously going to be the death of me.”

Chuckling, I gently pushed her down the last step, letting my arm fall from her waist. “Let’s hope not. Been there, done that. I really don’t want a repeat.”

Before she could respond to my dark humor, Maribel was already up and off the couch, wrapping her daughter up in a tight hug. I simply smiled as I moved past the two hugging women, walking towards my own mothers. “Did my sister tell you she’s breaking into the house tonight with her girlfriend?”

Both of my mothers shared a look before pulling out their respective phones. “Uh, no. Did we miss that memo? I thought you all weren’t planning another sleepover until winter break?”

Shrugging, I took a seat on the arm of the couch, turning my attention to the hug party still going on. Although now it had included another member of the Lopez family, with Tony still clutching the landline phone in one hand as he embraced both of his girls. Eventually, they broke apart, Santana’s parents murmuring something to her before she nodded and caught my gaze. I smiled reassuringly, only to feel it drop as I was suddenly engulfed in a hug of my own by Santana’s parents. The action was enough to force a high-pitched squeak I didn’t know I was capable of making, the sound forcing a cackle out of my girlfriend, who was still holding my gaze over her parent’s shoulder.

Lightly glaring at said girlfriend, I awkwardly patted both Maribel and Tony on their respective backs before they moved away, my cheeks burning with embarrassment as Santana continued to laugh _loudly_ at me. “Okay. I’ve had enough emotional outburst tonight. Now, if you guys don’t mind, I was hoping I could borrow Santana and head back to the house? My sister has apparently found out popcorn and movies is a good way to kill a Saturday night.”

Both sets of parents nodded, each mumbling their goodbyes before I stood up from the couch, sending my girlfriend another glare as she was still giggling slightly even as I pushed her out the door and into the cool air before I tossed her jacket at her head. When that only produced louder giggles, I simply let out a sigh, walking away from Santana’s house. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“How in the hell did you even make that noise? Nothing about you is girly and that sound you made was…shit, that was hilarious.”

Rolling my eyes, I shoved my hands in my pockets, letting out a huff when I felt Santana’s body collide with mine, her arm looping through mine. “Wait until Puck hears about this. He thinks you’re just as big of a bad ass as he thinks he is.”

I opted not to fuel her giggles even more, I simply kept walking, keeping my face neutral as I stared ahead. “I’m so totally telling everyone about that teddy bear you had sitting on your dresser. Wasn’t that a cheerleading outfit it had on?”

From out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Santana’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”

Shrugging, I pulled one hand free from my pocket, easily sliding my arm around the other girl’s waist. “Play with fire and you’re bound to get burned, Lopez.”

“Oh my god, seriously? You’re so freaking weird. Listen, I won’t tell anyone about what just happened if you don’t tell anyone about Sir Dance-a-lot.”

My feet automatically stopped, which in returned forced Santana to come to a stop beside me. “ _Sir_ Dance-a-lot? There’s a _Sir_ in front of that?”

The Latina scoffed, looping a finger through one of the belt loops on my jeans and tugging forward. “I did not say Sir. You’re imagining things. Come on, we need to get to your house before Berry starts to come looking for us. I really don’t want to sit through one of her power point lessons on why walking at night is dangerous…again.”

Feeling the shit eating grin spreading across my face, I obliged, my feet running on auto-pilot as I continued to stare over at Santana. “Don’t tell me, he’s been knighted, right? That’s why he’s a Sir?”

“Logan, I swear to whatever god you believe in, I will end you right here on this sidewalk if you do not _shut up_.”

Laughing lightly, I tightened my arm around her waist, storing that information away for later as I let that familiar comfortable silence flow between the two of us. Moments like these, filled with laughter and promises of more to come, it made all of this worth it.

“Hey, San?”

The girl next to me hummed, her eyes scanning the sidewalk ahead of us. I smiled slightly to myself as I took in her profile in the light of the moon and streetlamps. “I love you.”

Without missing a beat, we stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, again, the brunette tugging me towards her, our lips automatically meeting halfway. Damn, this was something I could really get used to.

When she eventually pulled back, our foreheads resting against each other’s, I could practically hear the smile in her words. Which was a relief when taking in everything that had happened tonight, after seeing someone so strong, down so low. “I love you, too.”

Yeah. It’s totally worth it.


	13. Keep Holding On

Ch:13

**Logan**

I let out a groan as soon as the Santa hat hit the top of my head, and seconds after I was being dragged around the choir room by my sister as she and Mercedes belted out their own version of _All I want For Christmas Is You_. And to make it all worse, almost everyone else was joining them, over top of my protests that it was such a cliché move and I just wanted to sit down and finish reading my book.

After receiving a glare from my sister, I quickly shut my mouth and obliged with whatever crazy thing she was doing, which meant I was simply standing next to the Christmas tree holding a box of ornaments open as she placed them all over the green branches. Judging by how each move was deliberate, I could have guessed she’d sat down at home with a bunch of different pictures of the tree and actually made a diagram of where she thought each ornament should go.

“Stop being such a Scrooge, Logan. Frowning so much will give you wrinkles.”

“Explain to me, again, why this time of year makes you even more…boisterous than during the other seasons?”

My sister halted halfway through hanging (another) golden star, narrowing her eyes at me. “Must we go through this every year?”

Shrugging, I glanced around the room, watching in amusement as the other glee clubbers were doing their own decorating. Mike and Tina were currently hanging the mistletoe in the doorway, and proceeded to share a kiss after doing so. Brittney and Artie were setting up a little nativity scene on the top of the piano. Mercedes and Sam were whispering quietly to one another as they went through one of the _thousands_ of boxes labeled “Christmas” that Mr. Shue had piled into one corner. Kurt and Blaine were obviously discussing caroling not far from where I was, something my sister must have overheard because she was now joining that conversation. Finn was nowhere to be found, as was Puck. And I suddenly found myself wondering where Quinn and Santana were.

“Oh my god, she has you doing manual labor.”

Rolling my eyes, I glanced over my shoulder to see the two missing girls walking through the choir room door, squeezing themselves through the small space left from the make-out session being held by Tina and Mike in the doorway. “Only because you, my dear, were not here to do it for her. Otherwise I would be sitting in a chair in the back of the room reading.”

Quinn chuckled, reaching out to take the box from me, which I gladly handed over before picking up one of the other stars my sister had been hanging up out of said box. “Sorry, I was breaking into lockers.”

After giving the blonde a questioning look, which she simply smiled and said something about being skilled with a nail file, I handed the star off to my sister before turning my attention to my girlfriend, who was standing off to the side and was agreeing with whatever Quinn had said about the nail file.

“She isn’t lying. I’ve seen that girl pick locks better than most criminals can.”

Raising an eyebrow, I stepped over to stand beside her as my sister and Quinn took over decorating the tree. “Should I be worried that she can do that, or that you’ve been associating with known criminals?”

The Latina playfully slapped my shoulder, to which I laughed at before my name being called pulled my attention over towards the piano, where Artie was holding out a book of sheet music containing Christmas carols…piano sheet music.

“Oh, hell no. I am _not_ playing carols. I hate them, they’re overplayed and they make me want to jump off a cliff.”

Soon almost everyone in the room was begging for me to play, all of them shouting overtop one another to try and be heard. Rolling my eyes, again, I held one hand out, smiling slightly at the round of applause and cheers I was getting as Artie placed the sheet music book in my waiting hand.

I easily slid onto the bench, opening the book and flipping through it with one hand as I held the other. “Do not film this, Lopez. I can see your phone out of the corner of my eye. Get your ass over here so I can keep an eye on you.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Santana quickly slid her phone into her back pocket before taking my outstretched hand and sitting on the empty seat beside me. “That would have been perfect blackmail. Why do you have to be so hyperaware of everything?”

“I grew up with Rachel Berry as a sister. My stuff was constantly being organized whenever I had my back turned or I wasn’t paying attention. I’ve learned to notice things.”

Feeling something hard hit the back of my head, I glanced over my shoulder to see Quinn doubled over laughing as my sister glared at me. “If you keep throwing things at me, I will take you down, diva. Don’t think I won’t.”

From my left Santana perked, up, turning to smile innocently at my sister. “Finally! I’ve been saying that for years!”

My sister glanced between me and Santana before throwing her arms up and taking a seat next to her own girlfriend. “It’s a match made in heaven. Just play the damn carols already, or I _will_ throw something harder at your head.”

My fingers began to effortlessly glide over the piano keys, and I gave my sister a quick wink before turning my full attention to what I was doing. Eventually, as I went through carol after carol, and many impromptu  performances from just about every glee club member, the bell rang overhead, signaling the end of the day and the beginning of our winter break.

There was a solid round of cheer and laughter coming from outside the choir room, to which the other people in the room joined in, everyone moving around to gather the rest of the Christmas decorations and place them around the room before our predetermined glee club meeting and the last one of this calendar year.

“Where did you learn to play?”

Closing the book of sheet music, I handed it back to Artie before answering Santana’s question. “My mothers taught me. Both of them know how to play so they stuck me in lessons when I was little. I’ve been playing ever since. How are you not freezing in that outfit?”

The cheerleader glanced down at herself, an eyebrow raising. “You get used to it, I guess. My first year as a Cheerio it felt like my boobs were going to freeze off.”

“Well, we couldn’t have that now could we? Speaking of things freezing off, what are you and your parents doing for Christmas?”

Santana shrugged, standing up from the piano bench before picking up her bag. “Well we used to go the my grandmother’s every year, but now…I don’t really know what we’re doing. I guess we’ll just hang around the house.”

I briefly nodded, not wanting to push the issue even further. Ever since that day Santana came out to her grandmother, it’s been a somewhat touchy subject. Some days she’ll just randomly speak about what was said, and how it’s hard to go from seeing someone you used to see every other day to being treated like you never even existed. Other days we all were given a little flashback of the girl who hid behind insults and that complex, bitchy exterior. I was beginning to pick up signs of when that particular side of my girlfriend would come out, and something was telling me I should probably just steer clear of it for today.

Which I totally got. Coming out my Freshman year back in Chicago was nerve wracking. I remember thinking about how all my friends were going to react. Would some of them be uncomfortable? Would they automatically assume that I had a crush on them? Would they start asking questions I didn’t even have the answers to back them? Would their parents make them stop being friends with me? A thousand things came with that uncharted territory. Thankfully, a few of them stuck around, but some did react rather poorly.

As another train of thought passed through my brain, my feet began to slow, until Santana was a few feet ahead of me. She stopped once she noticed I was no longer walked beside her, and I let out a sigh for not thinking of this sooner. “Crap, I’m sorry. I forgot I needed to talk to Quinn about something. Save me a seat in the auditorium?”

The Latina nodded, and I smiled brightly, taking a few steps forward and placing a quick kiss to her cheek before backtracking back to the choir room. Thankfully, the only ones still left in the room were my sister and Quinn. The pair settled their attention on me when I walked back into the room, halting in their movements of gathering their stuff together.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?”

My sister shook her head, but before she could open her mouth to bombard me with questions on what I was doing back here and how being on time to something is key for a successful life, I asked to borrow Quinn, who was watching me with curious interest.

“I promise we will not be late to the meeting. I just want to ask her something.”

After reassuring my sister, four times might I add, that I would not cause her girlfriend to be late, she disappeared out the door with one last look over her shoulder. Once I was sure she wasn’t waiting outside the choir room to eavesdrop on the conversation, I turned towards my best friend. “Do your parents know you’re dating my sister?”

And just as I feared, Quinn’s face automatically paled. “What?”

“Listen, I’m not here to bust you on it, okay? It’s just that I’ve been so caught up in my own crazy, messed up love life that it didn’t occur to me until now that your parents might not know about you and Rachel. Do they?”

The blonde sighed, slumping down into one of the choir room chairs on the risers. “No, they don’t. Not that I’m ashamed to be with your sister or anything, I promise it’s just…they reacted so poorly to my pregnancy that I…I’m scared to tell them.”

Turning one of the chairs on the floor to face hers, I sat down, wishing more than anything that I would have to stop giving this speech to the people I loved. I mean seriously? I knew firsthand how small minded Lima could be. I’d heard it from my sister and her fathers, and I experienced it myself. “Hey, it’s okay to be scared. You know that right?”

“No, it’s not. I’m not that kind of person. I’m-.”

“What? The same Quinn Fabray that tortured my sister?”

The blonde quickly glanced up from where she had been staring down at the floor, her expression unreadable. “That’s not fair and you know it. I was under their control back then. I didn’t have a choice.”

Reaching out, I took one of the blonde’s hand in my own, squeezing them slightly. “I’m not trying to belittle you for the mistakes you made in the past, Quinn. I am, however, saying that it’s okay to be afraid. I get that.”

The former Cheerio scoffed, reaching up with her free hand to rub a couple of fingers across her forehead. “There’s a difference in being afraid of your parents and everything that happened with you, Logan. My fears look like ants compared to what you’ve been through. God, I’m such a baby. This? This is what I was afraid of. My parents are so far into my head that I’m already concaving in on myself. I’m weak. It’s plain and simple. I’m weak.”

Squeezing her hand again, I leaned forward in my chair, shaking my head slightly. “Don’t do that, okay? Don’t talk down about yourself. I swear, I hate that I have to keep reminding you all of this. I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Santana when her grandmother reacted poorly to her coming out. You are a good person, Quinn. You have been through just as much as I have and I am so incredibly proud of you for coming out stronger. I know it may not seem like, and I know it’s a touchy subject for you, but I reserve the right as your best friend to tell you this. Your pregnancy, it was hard for you and you handled everything that was thrown your way as best you could. You opted for a better life for your daughter, and that’s something I’m not sure I could have done. You parents do not define you, Quinn. Their actions are not yours, their beliefs are not yours. If you’re honestly worried about them kicking you out again, that’s okay. I can’t imagine what that was like, but you have a family now, Quinn. Rachel, Santana, me, my mothers, we all care about you so much. And we want you to be happy. I’m not asking that you go home and tell your parents you’re dating another girl. I would never ask that of you, I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to retreat back into yourself and I don’t want to see you or my sister end up hurt.”

“I would never hurt your sister. I…I think I love her.”

Nodding, I smiled slightly at my best friend, letting out a light breath. “To be honest, when I first met you I wasn’t expecting you to return my sister’s feelings. Now I might worry a teeny, tiny less about you two. Because I would totally kick your ass if you broke her heart. But I would also kick her ass for breaking yours. I love you both, so much that it’s border line weird. You mean a lot to me, Quinn. You’re my best friend and I just want you to be happy. So I’m asking if you’re okay. And I’m sorry for not asking you this sooner.”

The blonde shook her head, scooting forward in her seat until our knees were touching. “No, it’s fine. You have been dealing with a whole lot of drama this year. I’m just glad you and Santana finally worked things out. I was beginning to think you two were doomed to be giving longing looks for the rest of your lives. But in all honesty, I’m not…I want to tell them, but I am scared they’re going to kick me out again. I’ve already asked too much of Mercedes and her family, and I don’t want to put anyone out like that again.”

“You know you’re more than welcome to come and stay with us, should you need to, don’t you? My mothers adore you, and we have that spare room that Rachel uses whenever she decides not to take up residence in my bed.”

Seeing a few tears well up in the girl’s eyes, I quickly shook my head. “No, please don’t cry. If you cry, I’m gonna cry and it was not my intention that I make you cry. I’ve always been a sucky best friend, and I’m really trying here. I’m sorry, I-.”

The blonde threw her arms around my shoulders, pulling me to her. “Damn you and your sister for weaseling your way into my heart.”

Chuckling lightly, I blinked a few of my own tears away before returning the hug. “What can I say? It’s a quality that takes years to master.”

Eventually, she pulled away, and I watched as she wiped under her eyes. “I’m a mess. I must look awful.”

“You look fine. I seriously doubt there will ever be a time you don’t look stunning. It’s unfair, actually. Now, we’d better start off for the auditorium. Otherwise my sister will be looking for us.”

After gathering our things together, we started off towards the auditorium. Thankfully, the school had pretty much cleared out now, save for a few scattered here and there, which I’m sure eased some of the tension from the glee club members. I, for one, was thankful for the quietness. Growing up in Chicago, crowds were pretty much part of the package deal. But there was always so much tension that ran through these halls, and taking a breather from that is something I would not take for granted.

“Shelby asked me if I wanted to babysit Beth for her. To get to know her, I guess?”

Raising an eyebrow, I matched my pace with the blonde as we walked through the empty halls. “Really? Why did you say?”

“That I would, but I kind of don’t want to do it alone. That’s a lot of pressure, considering it’ll be the first time I meet her since…you know.”

“I know. What about Rach? I’m sure she’d be more than happy to lend a hand.”

Quinn shrugged, casting her eyes down to the hall floor. “I was thinking about it, but then I realized it wouldn’t fair to her, to ask her to come over and sit inside her birth mother’s house and babysit the kid she adopted after telling her she couldn’t be a mother to her. Or bring said kid over to her house. It seems selfish. Plus, like I said, it’s the first time I’d be meeting Beth since she’s become her own little person and I was maybe hoping that you would come with me? I know it’s sacrificing a nigh with Santana, and it’s winter break and I’m sure you have plans, and I can always tell Shelby that I-.”

“Stop right there, Q. There is no way in hell you are telling Shelby that you can’t babysit for her. This is something you want to do right?”

After receiving a nod from my best friend, I stopped outside the auditorium doors, ducking my head down to try and catch her gaze. “Then I would love to come babysit with you. And meet Beth. When exactly did Shelby say she needed a babysitter?”

Holding the door open, I let the blonde enter first before following after. “She said next Tuesday. She’s going for an interview at a bank about getting a loan for something. Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

Nodding, I stopped at the row of seats where Santana was sitting off to the side, three seats in between her and Kurt, placing a light kiss to the top of the Latina’s head and smiling when she glanced up from her phone at me. “Don’t sweat it, Q. I’ve got your back.”

The blonde took a seat next to me, her eyes scanning the auditorium surrounding us. “Where’s Rachel?”

Santana, who’s attention returned to her phone, pointed over at the stage, where my petite sister was towering over Mr. Shue’s sitting form, the latter looking a lot like a deer caught in headlights. “Trying to convince Mr. Shue to let her teach us all a Hanukkah prayer/song thing. I don’t really know. I tuned her out once I realized it wasn’t something fun.”

I nodded, watching as my sister began to use hand gestures, an amused grin sliding onto my face. “Ten bucks says he caves just to make her stop.”

The brunette next to me snorted, her eyes never leaving the phone screen as she scrolled through what looked like Amazon. “Twenty says she’s reciting about how important it is to keep us all culturally diverse or something like that.”

Leaning towards the brunette, I let out a laugh as she instantly pulled the phone out of my line of sight. “What has your attention all of a sudden?”

“Nothing. I’m just looking at something.”

Raising an eyebrow, I leaned further out of my seat, my smile broadening when she inched the device farther. “You wouldn’t happen to be looking at Christmas gifts would you? Because I can totally keep a secret.”

“Yeah, you’re not looking at my phone.”

“Oh, is it because it’s a present for _me_?”

The Latina rolled her eyes, locking the device before shoving it in the side pocket of her bag. “Maybe, maybe not. What’s it to you, Mackenzie?”

“Are you at least adhering to our agreement about nothing too extravagant?”

When my girlfriend couldn’t suddenly hold eye contact with me anymore, I shook my head, leaning back in my seat before entwining our fingers together. “Nice, babe. You owe me hot chocolate on the way home.”

“I owe you nothing.”

“You two are sickeningly gross. Please, take your couple cuteness outside or I’m going to puke all over the both of you.”

Both Santana and I sent Quinn and mock glare, to which the blonde shied away from before my sister rejoining our mini group pulled her attention away from us. I instead attempted to focus on whatever Mr. Shue was beginning to ramble on about, but my train of thought was began to derail as soon as Santana leaned over my lap to yell something out to one of the other gleeks, the hand that I wasn’t holding coming to rest on my thigh. High. Higher than her hand has dared to venture since we began dating.

“You’re blushing.”

Clearing my throat, I situated myself in my seat, chancing a quick glance out of the corner of my eye to see Santana smirking at me. “Stop it. You’re already distracting me as it is.”

Feeling the hand on my thigh slide a little higher, I instantly brought my other hand down on top of it, keeping it from venturing more. At that motion, the girl next to me let out a laugh, retreating her hand back down to safe territory before she leaned her head towards my own, her breath washing over and down my neck. “You know, your Christmas gift could always cost you your clothes.”

Narrowing my eyes, I turned my head slightly, catching Santana’s gaze. “Keep it up and your Christmas gift is being returned.”

Her eyes widened slightly, and I waited until she was sitting at a safe distance and for the thumping in my chest to quiet down before returning my attention back to where Mr. Shue was telling us to try and be safe over break, and that we would be meeting up outside the school next Saturday to go caroling to raise money for Regionals.

“…and on that note, I hope you all have an great winter break. I will see you all Saturday, eight o’clock sharp. Dress warmly and drive carefully. It was snowing earlier, so the roads will be slick. Happy Holidays, guys.”

* * *

 

  **Quinn**

 Strange is not the word I would use to describe how I feel about my parents house.

The fact that I refer to it as my parents house is just the tip of the ice burg. It was never really my home to begin with. My father’s demand to have everything perfect, and my mother riding along with him always made it feel more like a jail cell to me.

After Beth, and being forced out of it, I occurred to me exactly how unhappy I had been there. How unhappy I had been trying to live up to the expectations of who my father thought I should be, and how I should act, and who I should interact with. But it had something constant in my life, and that’s why I came back after giving up Beth. They had said they were trying to change, to make things right. And they were still my parents, and everyone deserved to have their loved ones in their lives. Right?

So if I still felt like that, then why was life finding me standing on the edge of the snow-covered lawn, ringing my hands out in front of me while my best friend and my girlfriend’s sister waited patiently next to me?

Why was this so hard? I knew I was afraid of their reaction. I didn’t want to be kicked out again. And Logan’s mothers have reassured me that I’d be more than welcome to stay with them, should I need to. But my fear was keeping me rooted in my place.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Nodding, I finally tore my eyes away from the house to look at Logan. “If they love me, and they say they do, then they won’t react horribly. But I can’t keep this a secret from them. They’ll find out eventually, and it will be even worse if that happens. I have to be the one to do this. I didn’t have a choice the last time, and I want that to be in my hands this time around.”

Flashes of that dinner between my parents, Finn and I were replaying over and over in my head. It hadn’t been the most…ideal way to inform my parents of my pregnancy, but Finn had only been doing what I didn’t have enough courage to do.

“You shouldn’t feel like you’re being forced to come out, Quinn.”

“I know, but I want to do this. I’m tired of hiding behind fronts and keeping secrets. If they kick me out, oh well, I still have you guys, right?”

Feeling a hand slide into mine, a little bit of that fear that was keeping my feet secured in their spot melted away. “Always, Q.”

After a few moments of silence, and watching the shadows of my parents moving around the living room, I squeezed Logan’s hand before letting it drop. “Okay. I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.”

Without waiting for a response from my best friend, I took off down the driveway, barely registering the sound of her snow boots echoing behind my own as I kept my train of thought on the task at hand. Get it, tell them, wait for a verdict and then I was either; A, packing my things and moving in with Logan, or B, staying where I was with my parents who were going to support me no matter what.

As soon as the front door closed behind Logan, the low mumble of the voices in the living room silenced and a few seconds later my mother appeared around the corner, her usual pinched smile appearing on her face. “Quinnie? I thought you said you were staying at a friend’s house tonight? Logan, it’s wonderful to see you again.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Logan nod stiffly. “Mrs. Fabray, it’s good to see you, too. I hope everything is well with you and Mr. Fabray?”

“Oh it’s wonderful, dear. Now that my Quinnie is back home and we’ve all put our mistakes behind us. All three of us.”

And as usual, whenever the subject of my teenage pregnancy came up, I felt myself getting irritated at the way they brushed it off as something simple. Like I could ever forget it? Their ways of coping and attempting to “move on” were annoying. “Beth wasn’t a mistake, Mother.”

“Please, Quinn, let’s not argue over this now. Both of you, come in. I’m sure you must be freezing, but I’m still unsure of why you both are here?”

“Actually, Mom, I wanted to talk to you and Daddy about something.”

My mother quickly nodded, ushering both Logan and I into the living room, where my father was sitting in his usual chair by the fire, a glass of whiskey sitting on the side table next to him and his nose as far into the local newspaper as could get. He barely glanced up as we passed him and took a seat on the couch across from him. “Quinn, I thought you were out for the night? And you brought your friend. Logan, how are you?”

“Wonderful, Mr. Fabray. Thank you for asking.”

Taking a deep breath, and practically squeezing my hands together so tightly I’m sure I would have been able to break them if I hadn’t felt Logan’s rest over top of them, I glanced between my parents quickly. “Mom, Daddy, I need to tell you something…about myself. And I know we’ve had our differences concerning our views in the past, but I’m asking as your daughter for you two to hear me out before you start asking questions or you make any rash decisions. Please.”

“Are you pregnant again?”

Rolling my eyes, I chanced a glance at my best friend, who was simply staring at the tiled floor below our feet. I was thankful that she was doing as I had asked. To be here as some kind of anchor, to ground myself. Otherwise I think I would have already tossed my lunch and would be sobbing unconsolably on the floor right now. “No, Mom. I’m not pregnant. I actually wanted to tell you two that I’m dating someone. I’ve been seeing them for about three months now, and I’ve liked them for a really long time.”

My mother glanced between me and Logan before her eyes landed on my lap, where Logan’s hand was still covering my own. “Oh my god, are you two-?”

“No, Mom. Logan and I are not dating. It’s not her that I’ve been seeing.”

My mother shook her head, looking over at my father who was sharing the same look she had been. “Then who?”

“Rachel, Mom. Logan’s sister. I’m…I’m dating another woman. And before you ask, yes, I do love her and yes, I have thought about this. I was never in love with Finn or Puck or Sam the same way that I am with her. I care about her so much and I just wanted to tell you guys that she makes me happy and I’m not trying to force this on you, but-.”

“You’re not trying to _force_ this on us, Quinn? Isn’t you sitting here, going on and on about this _thing_ you’ve been doing with another girl forcing it on us? I thought you were done making mistakes, Quinn? I thought going through that pregnancy and giving up that child would knock some sense into that thick head of yours! How can you do this to us? Is it your goal in life to ruin everything for us? Is that what you want?! Because it sure as hell looks like you’re going trying to. No, we’re not doing this again. Here is what you’re going to do. You’re going to stop seeing that _girl_ and you’re going to attend church with us every Sunday, and we’ll set up meetings with our reverend about counseling. You’re not doing this, Lucy Quinn. Not again, I won’t let you do this to us again. How dare you put your mother and I….”

And suddenly, I was sixteen again, sitting in the exact same spot, listening to the same speech my father had given me, feeling just as powerless and small as I did then.

When was I ever going to learn?

* * *

 

**Logan**

 “How dare you put your mother and I through this again! I am so deeply disappointed in you, Qu-.”

“That’s _enough_!”

All three heads in the room turned to look at me, and I found myself standing up from the couch while still holding on to one of Quinn’s hands, every muscle in my body wanting nothing more than to shove my foot so far up Russel Fabray’s ass that it would tickle the back of his throat. “How dare you sit there and tell your own child that you are disappointed in her for being who she is. I understand that this may confusing for you, and that you may not be able to accept this, but like hell will I just sit here and let you speak to Quinn like that. Your daughter came here tonight to try and talk to you about this, but it’s obvious that you are just as small-minded as before, Mr. Fabray. Because you’re a coward. You’re more worried about what these stuck-up hypocrites who call themselves children of a God who is supposed to love _everyone_ equally, rather than see that your words are causing your child harm. It’s people like you, who make this world such an evil and hateful place. So don’t sit there, like you’re so much better than everyone else, and tell your daughter that there’s something wrong with her. She deserves to be happy. She deserves so much more than you.”

If I had thought Mr. Fabray’s face was angry before, looking at the shade of red it had turned now, this must have been what Quinn had meant what she was afraid of facing again. “You do not get to come into my house and speak to me that way. You’re not a parent, you don’t know what’s good for-.”

“I know what’s good for your daughter. I’m here for her, to support her. And I will support her, whatever she wants to be, who she wants to be, _I_ will do that. Because I care about her. All you care about is yourself.”

Suddenly Russel was standing up from his chair, the tension in the room obviously reaching it’s breaking point. “I don’t want you or her anywhere near this house again. She has a week to get everything out, and after that I’m trashing all of it. She was offered a second chance, and she spoiled it.”

“I could speak the same for you, Russel. I hope you understand what you’re doing.”

“I know exactly what I am doing. Get. Out.”

Taking a step forward, towards the man, I pulled Quinn up with my hand, worried by the far-away look in her eyes and gently pushed her in the direction of the doorway. “Gladly. Quinn, honey, go upstairs and pack whatever you need. We’ll be back for the rest of your stuff later.”

Without a word, the blonde nodded, slowly ascending the stairs one by one until she was out of sight. By that time, Russel had gulped down whatever was left in his glass and was now stomping off in the direction of another room. Judy, however, was still standing behind the chair her husband had been recently sitting in, her eyes trained on the spot where Quinn had disappeared. She looked so much like a hollowed out shell, her eyes vacant and emotionless. “How can you do this to her, Judy? How can you let him speak to her like that?”

The matriarch Fabray turned her vacant expression towards me, one hand coming up to grasp at the base of her neck. “I don’t…Logan, please understand, things are complicated.”

“No, they’re not. She’s your daughter, and you are her mother. You’re supposed to love her unconditionally. Protect her from everything meant to cause her harm, but you just stood there and let him hurt her. Again. I know you love her, Quinn told me about how when she first came back that you kicked him out. But you let him back. Why? Was it because of his money?”

“Logan, please…”

“No! I’m not about to let that girl upstairs go through any more of her life trying to appease people who won’t even bother to admit they’re doing her more harm than good! If you’re afraid of Russel, Judy, then please, think about what’s happening. I can’t promise that Quinn will come back this time. I’m asking you to make your choice. Him, or her.”

The older blonde simply shook her head, her eyes casting downward before she let out a sigh and looked back up, her features and eyes cold. “I’m sorry, if you think we’re being unfair to her. We only want what is best for her.”

“What’s best for your daughter is that you stick up for her. You’re just as bad as your husband, Mrs. Fabray. And I am deeply disappointed in you for doing this to her again.”

“Please, see yourselves out. When you’re done gathering Quinn’s things, she can leave her house key on the table by the door. We’ll forward any mail she receives to your house. I assume she’s going to be staying there?”

Nodding, I turned my head at the sound of the stairs creaking, to see my best friend slowly making her way down the last step, four bags loaded on each shoulder and her backpack settled on her back. With one last look at Judy, I took off in the direction of the younger blonde, taking half of the bags from her and opening the front door. She wordlessly met my gaze before walking out the door, not once glancing over in the direction of her mother, who hadn’t moved form her spot, and her expression still cold and unwavering.

“If you come to your senses, you know where she is. And I hope that you do, Judy. She needs you.”

Without another word, I closed the front door, the cold air of December hitting my flushed cheeks as I stalked off towards my car, still feeling my anger from my loud conversation with Russel coursing through my veins. Quinn was leaning against the trunk, her head cast down and her shoulders shaking slightly. I quickly deposited all of her bags into the back seat of my car before rounding back around to the girl, wrapping my arms around her slender frame and holding on as she slumped against me, sobs and tears being absorbed by my hoodie as I stared up at the Fabray household. “I’m so sorry, Quinn.”

I wasn’t sure how long we stood here, leaning against my car as she cried over her parents abandoning her again without so much as a care, but by the time Quinn finally pulled away from me, my cheeks, nose and fingers were numb from the winter wind. A few tears were still silently making their way down my best friend’s face, and I gently wiped at them before pulling my phone out of my pocket and dialing my sister’s number. I wasn’t surprised that she answered on the second ring, she knew what we were doing tonight. What the outcome would have most likely been.

“ _Logan? What’s wrong? Did Quinn talk to her parents? What happened?_ ”

Sighing, I opened the passenger door for the blonde, feeling my heart constrict as she slid in without a word. “I seriously don’t want to relive this night for the rest of my life. Just…Quinn’s staying with us for a while, and I think you should come over tonight. She’s going to need it.”

“ _They kicked her out, didn’t they?_ ”

I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see it. “Yeah, they did. She’s not speaking and it’s really worrying me.”

“ _I’m walking out the front door as we speak. Be safe driving here, okay? Please._ ”

“I will. Love you, Rach.”

“ _Love you, too. Oh, and Logan? Thank you for being there with her._ ”

“She’s my best friend. I wasn’t about to let her go through this alone.”

On the other end of the phone, I heard the sound of a door closing before the unmistakable sound of the wind coming through the speaker. “ _I’ll see you, soon. Bye_.”

Tapping my phone screen once, I slid the device back into my pocket before glancing over at the Fabray house, anger and sadness washing over me. For my best friend, and for the old feelings this was forcing to resurface in my own mind.

Sliding into the driver’s side, I turned my attention towards Quinn, who was staring out the front windshield with that same faraway look from before. It was a look I was beginning to really hate seeing on her. “Quinn?”

“Can we just go? Please.”

Her voice was raspy, not doubt from the amount of crying she had been doing while also inhaling the cold air moments ago, but I wasn’t expecting the coldness that seeped through. It was like I had just been spoken to by the same Quinn Fabray I had first met last year. “I’m just worried about you, Quinn. Please don’t shut me out.”

“Why? Why shouldn’t I? It’s your fault I’m in this position to begin with. I should have just kept my mouth shut and none of this would be happening. If you hadn’t had mentioned anything, I would be fine. So please, just drive, Logan.”

After what seemed like an eternity of Quinn glaring at me from my passenger seat, I turned to put the car into drive and started off in the direction of my house, my hands gripping the steering wheel just a little too tight. But I needed something to ground myself, something to keep myself from sinking too far into Quinn’s words.

_She’s upset, Logan. She didn’t mean it. Just give her some space._

Chanting that over and over in my head, the usually ten minute drive that I’d made a thousand times from Quinn’s house to mine felt more like hours. The tension rolling off the blonde next to me wasn’t helping either.

My sister was leaning against the front porch rails, her posture straightening as I pulled into the driveway. With a noise that was beyond angry, Quinn opened the passenger door before I could fully put the car in park, slamming it shut with enough force to make me wince and stomping up the driveway. Rachel glanced between me and the blonde who had bypassed her and disappeared through the front door, leaving me to stand helplessly in the snow.

Opening the back door to my car, I started pulling out Quinn’s bags, forcing myself to take calm and steadying breaths. Without a word to my sister, I passed by her and into the house, leaving the bags sitting by the door and ignoring the concerned looks my mothers were giving me from their spots on the couch, vaguely aware of said sister following in behind me.

“It didn’t go well, did it?”

Shaking my head at my mother’s question, I cleared my throat before sniffling and tossing my keys onto the coffee table. “Uh, no. It didn’t. I’m…I’m going to bed.”

Turning on my heel, I started up the stairs and made a beeline for my room, and forcing myself not to stare at the spare bedroom door, where my best friend had no doubt locked herself up, only to hesitate in the doorway of my bedroom. Sitting in the middle of my bed was my girlfriend, and never had the sight of her ever been so comforting. I suddenly found the dull ache in my chest lightening lightly. “What are you doing here?”

“Rachel called me. She said Quinn’s parents kicked her out.”

“Oh, well, her room is over-.”

“I didn’t come here for her. I mean, I did. I’ll check on her tomorrow. She needs some space to cool down and breathe. I was worried about you.”

Closing the door gently behind me, I shrugged, tying my hair up in a ponytail before moving around the room to gather something to sleep in. “Why? I’m not the one who was kicked out of her house. Again. Quinn needs the support more than I do.”

“Quinn has Rachel. Her girlfriend. Who’s supposed to be supporting her right now. I, however, am _your_ girlfriend and I’m here because I know that sometimes when Q is upset, she takes it out on the people around her. She said something to you, didn’t she?”

Stalling halfway through pulling out a t-shirt out of my dresser, and gripping the edges of the wood, the ache that was still pounding in my chest was enough to force whatever tears I had been trying to keep at bay were now falling freely down my cheeks. “She hates me.”

Hearing my bed squeak slightly and the patter of bare feet across the hardwood of my bedroom floor, I quickly slammed the dresser drawer shut, clutching my t-shirt in one hand as I wiped furiously at the betraying tears. A pair of hands gripping my hips from behind forced a shaky breath from my lungs, and I tried to keep everything in check as Santana spun me around to face her. Almost instantly, her arms were around me in a hug a lot like I had given my best friend earlier outside her parent’s house and I finally let my tears fall freely, finding some kind of comfort in her arms.

Eventually, I pulled away slightly, keeping on hand on her shoulder as I wiped at my face with the other. “I’m sorry.”

Santana frowned, interlocking her hands at the small of my back, keeping me from moving away from her. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Because…I don’t know…I just feel like I should be apologizing tonight.”

“You know she doesn’t hate you, right? No matter what she said, she loves you. She just puts these walls up around her when she’s hurt. I mean, they didn’t call her the Ice Queen for nothing.”

Laughing lightly, I nodded, sniffling a little. “I know. But she was just so angry and cold in the car. It felt like she was slipping away from me. And I can’t lose anyone else, San. I don’t…I can’t do that again.”

The Latina nodded, pulling me back to her and I let out a sigh as I rested my forehead against her collarbone. That familiar, secure silence fell over us as we stood there, in the middle of my room.

“Russel Fabray is an asshole.”

“Please tell me you laid into him, babe. He so deserves it.”

Nodding, I finally pulled away from the brunette, picking up from shirt and shorts from the floor where I had dropped them. “Him and Judy both. I just don’t see how a parent can treat their child like that. If my mothers reacted like they did…shit, I don’t even want to think about that. It’s way too nerve wracking.”

Santana retook her seat in the middle of my bed, her eyes watching my every move as I sat down at my desk, reaching for the makeup remover that was sitting against a small mirror. “Yeah, well, that’s the Fabray elders for you. God, I would love to go over there and slap some sense into both of them.”

I quickly made work of taking off the concealer, my eyes automatically coming to rest on the scar splayed across my forehead and eyebrow as I lifted a finger to trace over the skin, scrunching up my nose as the skin tingled under my touch. “Please feel free to do so. I won’t stop you.”

“Don’t tempt me. But are you okay? You’re not going to go diving out your window, are you? Because I don’t think I can handle another hospital trip with you again.”

Smiling slightly, I shook my head as I stood up from my desk and began to shed my hoodie and long sleeve, replacing it with my tee shirt and making quick work of changing into my shorts before crawling into the empty space beside my girlfriend. “No, I’m not going to throwing myself out the window. That kind of dramatics is my sister’s thing. I’ll just lay here and wallow in my own misery. Everything is so messed up, San…”

The brunette smiled sadly, nodding her head in agreeance as one hand came up to rest against my cheek, her thumb brushing across the skin there. “Can I ask you something?”

Nodding, I kept my eyes trained on her face, watching as her eyes landed on the scar on my forehead. “Are you going to ask me why I cover it up?”

“I don’t think you should. Because believe me when I say you’re just as beautiful with it. Not to mention it’s hot. I kind of have a things for scars. They’re pretty bad ass.”

Chuckling, I leaned into the touch, letting my eyes close. “Sometimes I’ll forget it’s there, and I’ll forget the attack ever happened, but then I catch it in the mirror. Or someone will be staring at me at school or at the store and it’ll all come rushing back to me.”

“It still bothers you?”

“Sometimes. I used to have nightmares all the time after waking up in the hospital. Sometimes at school, when someone bumps into me, I panic for a second before I stop myself. Sometimes I hate just being touched if I let my mind think about it for too long. It comes and goes, but it’s better now than it was then. I don’t exactly hate the scar…I just hate that’s it another reminder that people are filled with hate because they don’t understand.”

Feeling the hand on my cheek begin to withdraw, I opened my eyes, slightly amused at Santana’s look of concern as I reached up to grasp at the hand before it could fully pull away. “Hey, I never feel that way when you touch me, okay? I trust you, and your touch is never unwanted. It calms me. Most of the time. Other times it drives me crazy, but that’s not a conversation I want to have tonight.”

The girl sitting across from me smiled slightly, dropping our entwined hands to rest on top of my thigh. “You’re incredibly strong, you know that?”

“Only because I have the best girlfriend. Like ever. You should meet her sometime, I think you two would get along.”

Santana raised an eyebrow, letting go of my hand to lean forward and wrap her arms around my waist, pulling me forward until I was practically straddling her lap. “Really? She sounds kinda boring.”

Running a hand through her _incredibly_ long hair, and letting it rest at the base of her skull, I nodded, placing a light kiss to her forehead. “She is, but only because I’ve domesticated her. It’s sad really, how whipped she is.”

“Damn, you’ve been hanging around me too long, Mackenzie. I’m rubbing off on you.”

“Not in the good way, unfortunately.”

The cheerleader blinked rapidly for a few seconds before groaning and letting her back hit the mattress, leaving me to basically sit on top of her as she mumbled out a quiet “fuck” as her hands covered her face.

“Santana?”

The girl under me let out a grunt, which I smiled at before moving off of her, opting instead to lay beside her, my head resting on her chest. “Thank you for being here.”

Almost instantly, her own arm wrapped around my back, pulling me into her side. “You told me that you’d always be here for me. To be a shoulder to cry on or to just listen. The same goes for you, okay? I love you, Logan. And I’m here for you, too.”

Snuggling down further into the warm body of my girlfriend, I smiled slightly, feeling the stress, anger and sadness from the night’s events fade, leaving my body to feel worn out and tired. “I love you, too.”


	14. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in updates, if any of you have been following this story on FF.net, I haven't had that much time between the new job and school to write and then post the updates on both sites, but I'm adding chapter 14 on here now. It's already updated on FF.net. Let me know what you all think, I really appreciate all the love that this series has been given over the years.

**Ch:14**

**Rachel**

“Good morning, sunshine!”

My sister let out a groan as she entered the kitchen, her blonde hair sprawled out in different directions and eyes squinting against the sun shining through the window. “What are you doing here? Specifically so early?”

I shrugged, turning towards the coffee machine as Logan slumped down at the table, pouring her a cup before taking my own seat at the table. The blonde’s face lit up slightly as I slid the coffee cup towards her, causing me to smile slightly. “If you haven’t forgotten, dear sister of mind, Christmas is in less than a week and I still have a few presents to buy. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with me and Quinn? And before you protest having to be a third wheel, I’ve already called Santana and she’s on her way over as we speak.”

Logan eyed me for a few seconds, taking a sip from her cup. “What about-?”

“Quinn and I talked this over last night via a phone call. She wants to make up as much as you do, Logan. And I will tell you the exact same thing I told her last night, maybe this will be a perfect opportunity for you two to work things out.”

After letting out a sigh, and letting her head fall to the table top with a thud, my sister mumbled out something that sounded like her agreeing to the shopping trip, causing me to smile victoriously. “Then let’s not diddle-daddle, the mall opens in an hour. That should be plenty of time for you to get dressed and for me to retrieve Quinn from her room. Oh, and my car is being thoroughly cleaned so we’re taking your car and you’re driving.”

 Coffee cup still in hand, my sister let out another noise that resembled a grunt and began to make her way back upstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts. It’s been less than a week since Quinn was kicked out of her home, again, and it’s been just as long since my sister and her have talked. I’ve spent most of my time here, mainly because I know my girlfriend doesn’t need to be alone right now, and it’s been torture seeing the two of them walk on eggshells around each other. It’s the last thing I could have ever wanted to for either of the blondes, especially considering that one; it’s our senior year and things are supposed to be exceptionally awesome, and two; both of them are still dealing with their own past emotional and physical problems.

The sound of the front door opening and closing pulled me out of my thoughts, and I leaned out of my chair to peer into the living room, where Santana was dusting snow off herself. “Sup, midget?”

Rolling my eyes, I repositioned myself in my chair, taking another sip out of my coffee. “Is the reason why you never call me by my name is because it physically pains you, Santana?”

The Latina shrugged, strolling through the kitchen and taking the seat directly across from me, all the while smirking as she did so. “It kinda does, yeah. Did you manage to talk your sister into going today?”

“Yeah, she’s upstairs getting dressed now. Do you really think they’ll make up today?”

Santana shrugged, leaning back in her chair as she glanced around the room. “I hope so. I hate seeing both of them so freaking miserable. They both just need to pull their heads out of their asses and admit they’re both pretty and move on.”

Another eye roll later and my sister came bounding into the room, looking slightly more awake than she had the first time she’d came downstairs. Almost immediately though, she visibly brightened up as soon she realized Santana was here. It was a heartwarming sight, after everything the two had been through, to see them so happy with each other. With a quick kiss shared between the two, I sent them both out to warm up the car before going in search of my own blonde girlfriend.

* * *

  **Logan**

“Cheer up, why don’t you? You look like someone ran your cat over, babe.”

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I looked over towards my girlfriend, frowning slightly as I did so. “Sorry.”

The brunette raised an eyebrow, taking a seat on the bench next to me before looking around at the busy mall around us. It was certainly packed more because of the holiday season, and we’d been here for over two hours, with my sister heading into the last store on her list. “Why don’t you just go talk to her?”

Shrugging a shoulder, I tore my eyes away from the store front and cast them down at my hands in my lap. “We’ve been here for hours now and she’s not once even glanced my way. Rach said she spoke to her about today…”

“You both are way to stubborn for your own good. Just go talk to her, babe. Please.”

Letting out a sigh, and after receiving a nudge from the cheerleader, I took off towards the shop and by extension, my sister and her girlfriend. I found the two relatively easily, at the jewelry counter looking at whatever it was Rach had mentioned she wanted to buy for my mothers. Luckily, because God most likely saved me from whatever embarrassing mess I was bound to make out of myself, my sister was the first to notice me, holding up a necklace in each hand as she smiled brightly.

“I was just about to send Quinn out to get you! What do you think of these for your mothers? They have your birthstone in them.”

Shrugging, I nodded briefly, leaning against the jewelry counter next to the small diva as she handed me one of the necklaces. “I think they’ll love whatever you get them, Rach, but these are nice.”

The diva’s smile brightened, if that was possible, and after the jewelry counter sales person pulled her away to the register, it left me and Quinn standing at the counter alone. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the blonde shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

“Your father is a jerk. I didn’t get to tell you that the other night.”

Quinn’s shifting stopped almost immediately, and I tore my eyes away from the counter top towards the blonde. For a few seconds, we just held each other’s gazes, until Quinn ultimately broke the staring contest and let out a sigh.

“I know.”

A few more moments of silence passed before I simply shook my head, taking a step closer to the blonde. “Listen, I really, really hate not having my best friend. And I really, really miss you, Quinn. I understand that the other night was hard on you, and I’m so sorry that your parents don’t realize how great of a person you’ve become, but I do. If you’re still angry with me, that’s okay. I just…I want you to know that nothing your father said was true.”

Quinn grinned slightly, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. “Well, it’s a good thing I have someone like you on my side then, huh?”

Chuckling lightly, I took the last few remaining steps between us, wrapping my arms around the other blonde tightly. “Can we _please_ promise to never do this again?”

She returned the hug just as tightly, lightly laughing herself. “Promise.”

* * *

 

**Logan**

“You have my cell phone number and the number of the bank, but if something should happen, Logan, please don’t hesitate to call your mothers. It’s almost her nap time, so just put a Disney movie on and she should just knock out like a light. Oh and-.”

Rolling my eyes, I gently pushed the woman towards the front door with one hand while I waved the stack of papers she’s handed me a few moments earlier with the other hand. “Shelby, relax. This isn’t my first rodeo. Beth will be fine with us for a few hours. I promise if something happens, I will call both you and my mothers. Just _go_.”

The older brunette (that _still_ scarily reminded me of my sister every time I saw her) nodded, flashing one brief smile of grattitude before walking out the front door. I waited until I heard the reassuring click of the lock, ensuring that Shelby was in fact leaving before letting out a light huff and walking back into the living room. Still sitting in the middle of hardwood floor was my best friend, who was making the tiny version of herself giggle with a stuffed fox.

“So, Q, the adult is officially gone. What do you say we bump this party from G rating to a PG with a special screening of…,” I paused for dramatics, walking past the two blondes in the floor and playfully lunging at the smaller one, forcing a high-pitched squeal from her small body that caused me to smile as I popped a DVD in, “The Little Mermaid!”

Settling back on the couch with Beth sitting between us, Quinn and I let ourselves get lost into the movie, occasionally pulling out our phones to sneakily record the tiny human singing along the numerous songs playing from the flat screen. Soon enough, just as Shelby had predicted, the little girl was out like a light, lightly snoring as Quinn lifted her into her arms to place her in her toddler bed down the hall.

I was still lightly submerged in the movie playing when Quinn back in, retaking her seat on the couch next to me. The blonde let out a sigh, forcing my attention away from the singing crab. “Something bothering you, Q?”

Quinn shook her head, staring down at her hands for a few seconds before meeting my gaze. “I never got to tell you, but I really appreciate what you told my parents the other night. No one had ever stood up for me like that before.”

Shrugging, I reached over to turn the volume down on the TV, partially because I didn’t want the music to wake Beth up and partially because of the direction I could tell this conversation was going. “I’ve told you this before, Q. Your Dad is an ass and I will always stand by you. It’s what best friends do.”

The blonde smiled, taking my hand in hers. “I’m really glad we’re not fighting anymore.”

I returned the smile, squeezing the hand in my own. “Same.”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you, but our applications for Columbia came in yesterday. Rach already sent in her NYADA one in. I figured after Christmas was over we’d mail them out. Has Santana sent hers out?”

Frowning slightly, I shook my head, trying to think back to any kind of conversation that the Latina and I had shared about college. Now that I think about it, I don’t think we have ever held a conversation where future plans were involved, unless they were weekend plans. “Actually, we’ve not talked about college.”

The blonde’s eyebrows rose. “Oh. Well, maybe she’s already applied. I’m sure it’s all cool. Wanna finish the rest of the movie?”

Feeling a little off about the subject, I nodded, pressing the play button on the remote, trying and failing to pay attention to the rest of the movie playing on the TV. Worried thoughts circulated through my mind. Thoughts that I couldn’t turn off even if I wanted to. Because I’d been so preoccupied with thoughts of the present that I hadn’t given one single thought about the future. Or a lack thereof.

* * *

 

  **Logan**

 Winter had always been one of those seasons that I shared a love/hate relationship with. I hated ice. Mostly because I somehow always managed to find and slip on it. I hated the cold air that always seeped through even the warmest clothing, and how it would chill you to the bone. I hated the slush that always piled up on the sides of the roads, the snow tinted brown and ugly. And I hated the holiday spirit that came with the season. Sure, it was nice to spend time with family members and friends, after all this time brings out the best in people. But it also brings out the worst in them as well. That, I understood more than I would have liked to.

But there were also things that I loved about winter. Snow was probably my favorite thing about this season. Even as a little girl, I used to always wake up early after a snowfall and would spend hours on the front steps of our apartment building, watching the flakes fluttering through the wind before eventually landing somewhere. Sometimes they’d land and become a part of the blanket that covered mostly everything, others would land on people and melt away faster than one could blink. Snow was always poetic in the way that it landed.

This morning was no different than the other Christmas mornings I spent in Lima throughout the years. I would always wake up before anyone else, venture downstairs and sit outside on the front steps with a cup of coffee and watch the snow falling from the sky. It was so much more peaceful here than in the city. Like the whole world had stopped for a moment. It was perfect.

Eventually, I could hear the sounds of people stirring in the house, but I stayed put. They would find me at some point if they needed me, but my family members mostly left me alone for a while on this morning. And I was grateful for it. It gave me a chance to collect myself and my thoughts before the onslaught of the hectic day could begin.

This year, I had plenty to think about. Our Christmas celebration would be more than doubled this year. As usual, Rachel, Hiram and LeRoy were here. They would usually come over on Christmas Eve and we’d all sit around watching thousands of Christmas themed movies. This year, we added Quinn to the mix. Both set of parents adored the ex-cheerleader, and they’d pulled her into the traditions like she’d been doing so for years. It was a relief to see Q smile so much last night. We all knew this time of the year had to be hard on the girl, after everything that had happened with her parents. But the blonde was taking it all in strides and a head held high. Not that I expected anything different from Quinn Fabray.

Today, however, we would be altering the usual celebrations. Quinn wasn’t the only one joining our families this year. Santana and her parents, plus Shelby and Beth would be cramming into our house to spend the holidays together. It was more than double what we were used to, but I don’t think any of us really minded it. It was a welcomed thing, having everyone here. As a family. A huge, dysfunctional and completely insane family.

“Thought I’d find you out here. Still have all your fingers and toes?”

Smiling slightly, I nodded as my mother stepped out onto the porch, automatically opening the blanket that I’d pulled off the couch and waiting until she settled next to me before turning my attention back to the snow covered lawn. “Yeah, they’re still attached. But I think if I sit out here any longer, they’ll start dropping like flies.”

My mother hummed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I instantly melted into her side, my head falling to rest on her shoulder. “You’ve been out here longer than normally. Something on your mind, babe?”

Shrugging awkwardly, due to the arm around me, I let my eyes close, taking in the warmth and sense of security that came with being close to either one of my parents. “Just…thinking.”

“About…?”

“About the future. About college. The year’s halfway over, and everyone’s talking about and applying everywhere.”

“And you’re worried about what exactly? Not getting in to the college you want? Or does this extra long visit with Jack Frost have to do with a certain brunette?”

Knowing that I wouldn’t have been able to hide anything from her, I let out a chuckle before nodding. “We haven’t talked about plans after graduation. Or about college in general. I don’t even know if she wants to go to college, or what’s going to happen to us.”

The arm that was wrapped around my shoulder squeezed slightly. “Have you talked to Santana about this? Told her what you’re worried about?”

“Not yet. I hadn’t even realized the lack of conversation until Q and I were babysitting the other day. I’ve not seen her since, so…”

The sound of car horn honking pulled my head up from my mother’s shoulder, and we both turned our heads to see Tony’s car pulling into the driveway. With one last squeeze, my mother stood up, letting the blanket fall back around my shoulders. “My advice to you is to just talk to her about it. Keeping your feelings and fears secret will only cause trouble later on, babe. Besides, even if things do need to change, you two will have the rest of the year to figure everything out. Things somehow always manage to turn out right in the end.”

Nodding, I stood up on the bottom step, stretching slightly from sitting in the same place for too long before following my mother out to greet the newest arrivals. With one hand I held the blanket securely around my shoulders, and the other was used to return the hugs that Maribel and Tony both gave to me once I was within reach. I hesitated slightly when I rounded to the trunk of the car, where Santana was pulling out wrapped presents, watching the girl’s movements for a few seconds before sliding up behind her, wrapping a single arm around her waist and resting my head in the space between her shoulder blades. “Merry Christmas.”

The slightly taller girl turned, placing a kiss to my cheek before wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Hey. Merry Christmas.”

Maybe the conversation could wait until later…

* * *

 

  **Logan**

 The clinking sound of a knife against a glass cut through the several conversations going on around the table, everyone’s attention being pulled to the head of the table where one of my mothers had stood. “Okay, at the risk of sounding too cheesy, I just wanted to explain to everyone who’s experiencing their first Christmas with us that at the end of dinner, we give thanks to the past year and the experiences we’ve had. I speak for myself and my family by saying that we certainly hadn’t expected to be coming back to Lima so soon, but some persuasive force corrected that.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as my sister blushed slightly as she caught my mother’s gaze, earning a collective round of laughs from the people around the table. Despite the dig, my mother smiled brightly at the diva before continuing. “Nevertheless, we are always eternally grateful for family and to be here with everyone today. As unconventional as we all are, we _are_ a family. And I’m thankful that this year has brought you all of us.”

Every face seated at the table held a smile on their face as everyone held up a glass to cheer with my mother’s words. I took a tentative sip, glancing around as the conversations from earlier picked up where they had left off. All the adults were sat towards the head of the table, laughing every once in a while as they recounted several embarrassing stories of their children. Quinn and Rachel were next, entertaining Beth in her high chair, the little girl laughing loudly every once in a while when a funny face would be thrown her way. Santana was simply sitting next to me, a hand resting on my upper thigh as she joined me in watching the interactions around us. My mother’s words had rang true, as dysfunctional and odd as we were, we were all still a family.

Not long after dinner had finished, and everyone had broke off to do their own things, I found myself standing back outside on the front porch. Instead of sitting on the front steps this time, staring out at the morning sun reflecting on the snow, I was leaning against the railing, straining my eyes to see the few spots of snow lit up by street lamps illuminating the otherwise dark night. And I wasn’t alone. Perched next to me was my girlfriend, who had been surprisingly quiet throughout the whole day.

Suddenly a box was being shoved in my direction, and I pulled my eyes away from the area around me to look down at it. I slowly glanced between the Latina and the box with a blue bow settled around it. “What is this?”

Santana shrugged, smirking slightly as I cradled the box in my hands gently. “It’s your gift. I know it’s not a lot, you wouldn’t let me go all out on gifts, but I hope you still like it.”

Smiling, I wrapped my fingers around the box before leaning up to press a kiss to her cheek. “Would you hold it against me if I told you that the best gift I could have received this year was you?”

Laughing at the wince that came from the other girl, I quietly thanked her before carefully unwrapping the bow and sliding the box open. My breath caught in my throat as I was staring down at a ring, one that I had thought I’d seen before. Before I could speak, and the thousand of screaming voices in my head could cause me to panic at exactly what this could mean, Santana’s voice pulled my gaze to her own. “Relax, it’s not an engagement ring or anything. Not yet, at least. It matches mine.”

Holding out her right hand, realization dawned on me at where I had seen the ring before. While Santana’s was a series of branches and leaves woven together, the one still perched in the box was arrows wrapping around each other to form the band. “My grandfather gave me my ring when I started high school. For as long as he could remember, all the men in the family would give a ring to someone they cared about. Kind of like a promise ring, I guess, but it was always something that was really important to my family. His father gave his mother one. He gave my dad’s mother one. My dad gave my mother one. And since I’m not a guy, my grandfather gave me this and told me, when the time was right, I would find someone that I could wear the ring for. So I figured I’d carry out with tradition and shit and I had this one made…for you…yeah…”

Now understanding why the girl had been quiet all day, because she had been nervous about giving me the ring,  I chuckled lightly through the mist of tears that were clouding my vision. “Did _the_ badass Santana Lopez just give me a promise ring for Christmas?”

Bumping my shoulder, and visibly relaxing, Santana smiled. I lifted the ring from the box, examining it for a few more seconds before handing it over to the other girl, raising an eyebrow. “I’m going to have to humiliate you further, babe. You gotta put it on me.”

Rolling her eyes, the Latina slid the ring onto my right hand before clasping our fingers together. Silence passed over us as we watched the few visible flakes fall from the night sky. Eventually, after glancing down at the ring nestled perfectly on my finger, and the matching one on Santana’s hand, I let go of her fingers to pull something out from the pocket of my jeans. I guess we both had some slight reservations to giving each other our gifts in front of everyone else. And I was thankful for the privacy of the moment.

Letting the chain dangle from my hand, I handed the necklace over to Santana, who frowned down at it. “Is this my necklace?”

Nodding, I watched as one of her hands automatically went up to fiddle with the chain that had been nonexistent for the past couple of weeks. The girl had been visibly upset when we’d searched the entire choir room and auditorium after the chain had broken halfway through practice. “Yes. And no. I managed to do a sweep of the auditorium and found the charm. But the chain was broken in a few different places. So I got a new one. I also added another charm to it.”

Sure enough, dangling next to the usual heart pendant was a thin silver bar with a date etched into the metal. I waited for the inevitable smile that came across the girl’s face. “This is the date of our first kiss, isn’t it?”

Nodding again, I gently took the necklace from the girl and placed it around her neck, smiling as she fiddled with the charms for a few seconds before her head angled towards my own. “Thank you.”

Letting on hand rest against the spot where her neck and shoulder met, I smiled into the kiss, feeling a little lighter than I had that morning. Just like the comment about our family, my mother had been right. Things would turn out right. I could feel it.


End file.
